A New Beginning-Story 1
by Seanemmadtng4ever
Summary: Story #1 in the series. Emma Nelson's a good girl who fell in love with a bad boy, but will they make it through everything they are faced with. What happens when Emma starts going into a downward spiral? Can anyone save her? What will Sean do? Full summary inside! Emma/Jay-centric. Minor Semma/Janny. Maybe some Sellie mentions. *Trigger warnings*
1. Chapter 1

Hi everyone. I've decided to make a Semma fanfic. It may be slightly different than the show.

If you have any ideas then message me on Instagram at dtngseanemma4ever.

 **Summary:** Emma Nelson was known as the good girl at Degrassi. Sean Cameron was known as the bad boy, but he has a good heart. He cares about his friends, family and Emma who is his first broke up when Sean went to jail for accidentally running someone over during a race against Emma's then boyfriend, Peter to win her heart back. Sean's always been protective of Emma, especially when Rick Murray went after her with a gun to her head for "leading him on." Luckily, Sean saved her life. What happens when Sean and Emma are back together? Well...you'll have to read to find out.

 **Main Pairings:**

Emma and Jay

 **Side pairings:**

Emma and Sean

 **Emma's POV:  
** "Hey, Emma." I heard my best friend Manny Santos call my name from behind me. I turned around as she approached me. We started walking up the stairs of Degrassi. "What's up?" I said, as we walked through the doors. "Not much. Just wondering how you're relationship with Sean is going now that he's in jail." I frowned and so did she. "I think we are going to get back together when he gets out." Manny looked shocked as we just walked in the front doors of the school.

"Are you serious? You're dating Peter though." She was right. I was dating Peter, but it's not the same as being with Sean because he is my first love, crush, kiss and relationship. I really liked him when we first dated, but we broke up the first time when he got into a fight with Jimmy Brooks and accidentally pushed me to the ground. I avoided him for awhile after that. He tried to apologize to me at a party, but I didn't listen. Toby understood way I was upset because I didn't want to be around Sean at that time, especially after I found out he was there when he was looking for me. Ashley kissed him when he was heartbroken about our breakup and I found out soon after. I found myself crying into Toby's shoulder as Sean looked at me. I've never seen him that broken before.

The second time we broke up was when he started hanging out with Jay and I didn't approve of it. I understand why he did because I was dealing with Simpson's cancer and everything so I didn't spend time with him as much as I used to. Because he felt neglected and alone, he turned to Jay and his friends, which led him to stealing and due to that, I accused him of stealing without any proof. I've never seen Sean that angry because he slammed the locker when I was standing right next to it. He was mad because I accused him of stealing when I didn't have any proof.

Now he's in jail because he ran over someone while he was racing Peter to win me back and he turned himself in. I felt bad because I told him I didn't care about him, when I knew that I always will love him no matter what. "Sean and I broke up, so I'm dating Peter now." I said, as I opened my locker and put my books in my bag. "But you still love him?" I nodded. "How could I not love Sean? He's my first. I can't just stop my feelings for him."

"He's probably thinking of you right now." I rolled my eyes. "I doubt it, Manny." I said, knowing it's a possibility. "Emma, he's always been there for you." I frowned. "I have to get him out of there. It's the least I could do after everything we've been through together." I already thought of ways to get him out of there and I kept thinking while discussing it with Manny. "How are you going to do that?" I smiled. "I have to do something. Sean doesn't deserve to be there. It was an accident." I had an idea and ran to Simpson's office, knocking on the door. "Come in." I walked in and Simpson looked up. "I want to get Sean out of jail." I said and crossed my arms. "Emma, I'll make some calls and see what I can do." I smiled. "Really?" He nodded.

"He's a good kid and has been there for you no matter what. I can see how happy he makes you. Your eyes light up when you talk about him or look at you. That doesn't happen when you're around Peter." He frowned, as he mentioned my boyfriend's name. "I love him and I always will, but I've moved on." He nodded. "I'll make some calls and see if someone will work on his jail sentence." I smiled. "Thank you. I'm just worried about him." I frowned as he nodded. "I understand. I'll do it after lunch." I smiled and left.

Later that night, Manny and I decided to have a girls night. She had brought ice cream, chips, cookies, sodas and other junk food. I helped her put it away as she asked, "have you talked to Sean since he's been in jail?" I shook my head. "Emma, he misses you a lot. You should visit him." She said, as she grabbed a soda and opened it. I finished putting the stuff away before I replied. "I know, but I hate the thought of him being in jail." I told her, as she raised an eyebrow. "You're the one who told him to turn himself in." I sighed, wishing that I didn't tell him that I didn't care about him. "Look, I didn't want to, but it was the right thing to do. Sean's been through hell and back, but that doesn't mean that I don't care about him because I do. I still care and I always will, but he will be able to get out of jail when he's able to."

Spike came through the door, holding groceries. I helped her and put them up. "Oh, are you two having a girls night?" I nodded, as she smiled. "That's good. You need one after everything that's happened. Have you talked to Sean at all, since..." she trailed off as I shook my head. "No. I haven't." She frowned. "Maybe you should. He still loves you, Em. I can see it in his eyes when he looks at you. The two of you are meant to be together." She said, as I looked at her in disbelief before she walked away. "See? Even your mom can see it." I rolled my eyes and didn't want to talk about Sean anymore. Soon, we were watching a movie and eating chips. Mom and Snake were in the other part of the house. "Leonardo DiCaprio is so hot in this movie." Manny said, as I rolled my eyes, but smiled. I agreed with her. "I thought you didn't like sad movies like this? This is one of his best performances." I commented, smirking. "I don't mind if I get to see his shirt off." I rolled my eyes. "Oh, my god. Stop it, Manny." I said, and smirked. "What? Romeo and Juliet is amazing with him playing the lead." I couldn't agree more. "This movie is the best, until they both die at the end." I frowned, at the tragic ending. We continued watching the movie and were now at the part where Juliet was on the balcony. When the movie was showing Juliet dead in the church, I cried.

When the movie was over, Manny went to the kitchen and we started to make the cookies. I got the pan and put some cooking spray on it so they wouldn't stick to the pan. She got the cookie dough out and started putting some on the pan. "Emma, are you okay?" I nodded, smiling. I couldn't stop thinking about him being in jail.

Simpson came in and looked at me. "Emma, I made a few calls and someone said they would look into getting a lawyer." I smiled, happily, hoping that Sean would be able to get out of there soon. My phone rang and it was Peter. I ignored it. "Aren't you going to answer that?" She asked as she set the oven. I shook my head. "No. It's Peter and I'm pissed off at him right now." She raised an eyebrow.

"He's the one who got Sean expelled from Degrassi and now I can't even see him anymore because he's in jail. Peter should mind his own business because my relationship and past with Sean doesn't involve him!" I yelled and angrily put the cookies in the oven and slammed the oven door shut, then walking into the kitchen. "Emma, you may be angry with Peter, but there is something else that's bothering you." I scoffed. "Yeah. The fact that Sean is in jail right now and I can't do a damn thing about it." After a few moments, I was still angry, but didn't show it. "Em, you're trying your best to get him out of there. That's all he can ask for and he will be so happy when he finds out that you got him out."

"I'm sorry. It's just that after everything that's happened, Sean was still there for me. Even when we fought and broke up, we always went back to each other. I can't even see him at Degrassi anymore." I sighed. "Why don't you talk to Simpson and have him get Sean back in?" I shook my head. "I think Sean is happier because he's not getting into fights with Jimmy anymore." I said, remembering how they fought after school. Sean accidentally pushed me to the ground which led to our break up and him getting his heart broken because I wouldn't talk to him. "Well, what are you going to do?" I told her that if Sean could get a lawyer, then he could get a hearing, plus his sentence reduced.

"Do you think it will work?" She asked, curiously. "It has to work." I said, as I had tears in my eyes. "Sean has made me so happy when we were dating and I don't have to be there to know he hates where he's at now." I frowned. "He put himself in front of a bullet for me when Rick was about to blow my damn head off and he was the one who fought him for the gun so I wouldn't get killed." I said, as the memory flashed before my eyes. "See, Em? He still loves you even after 6 years." I smiled as I thought of him, then I frowned as my mind flashed back to the memory of Jay and I in the van at the Ravine. "He won't if he finds out what I did with Jay and he gave me Gonorrhea in return." Manny frowned. "You didn't know that Jay had it until it was too late." I sighed and looked at the ground for a few moments, then looked at her. "Maybe not, but I still went behind Sean's back-the only guy I've been in love with since I was in 7th grade-by going down on his best friend." I frowned.

"You two weren't even dating when it happened between yourself and Jay." I got angry. "I know that, but Sean won't see it that way if he finds out. It doesn't matter because I still went ahead and did that when he was gone." I started crying and put my head in my hands. "Even if Sean does forgive me it doesn't change the fact that his best friend and I had a friends-with-benefits relationship-who I got gonorrhea from-and that all that happened when Sean was in Wasaga." I glared at the ground. "If I really loved Sean, I wouldn't have been with his best friend." I started crying again.

"Emma, it's going to be okay." She said, pulling my hands away from my face. I did and she was at eye level with me now. "How is it okay? If Sean found out, it would hurt him. I always find a way to screw our relationship up. He gets into a fight with Jimmy? I try to break it up and he pushed me to the ground-accidentally-so I ignore him which makes him cry and Ashley kisses him when he's hurting. I accused him of stealing? He gets angry at me and slams a locker right beside me, then glares at me angrily-but I could see the hurt in his eyes-when I was talking to Simpson about the laptop getting stolen." I tried to catch my breath. "All I ever do is hurt him, Manny. I either make him sad or angry. Sure he was happy with me, but it never lasted for long though." Manny looked sympathetic. Her eyes showed that she feels bad for me. "I'm just waiting for him to move on and forget about me. I hate fighting with Sean, but I can't take it anymore. I can't handle hurting him again." I laughed humorlessly. "Oh, wait. I did it again, but this time he doesn't know it. He'll probably find out from Jay because I'm sure as hell not going to tell him."

Manny's voice was soft. "Emma, Sean loves you. That's never going to change. No matter how much you break his heart, he will always be in love with you. You're his first love and that won't change either, because you will always be important to him." She said, as I shook my head. "I can't get back together with him again. It's better if I just forget about him and he forgets about me."


	2. Chapter 2

**Emma's POV:**  
The next day after school, I decided to visit Sean. I grabbed my bag, ran in the hallways trying to avoid the students who was leaving the school and made it to my car. I got in, put on my seat belt, turned the key and drove off. I made my way to the jail Sean was at then parked. Within moments, I ran into the building and spotted a security guard. "I'm here to see Sean Cameron." He nodded and lead the way. I followed and soon I was standing in front of him. "You have a visitor." He said as he unlocked the cell to let me in. Sean had his head leaning against the wall and turned around as I entered the cell. "Emma," I had tears in my eyes as we hugged. "what are you doing here?" He asked surprised, but happy.

"I thought I would visit you for awhile." He had tears in his eyes. "I missed you." He said, as he had tears in his eyes. I put my thumb up to his eye and wiped it away as he pulled away enough to look at me without letting go of my waist. He was wearing his blue jeans and a white shirt that showed off his biceps. After a moment, he moved a strand of my hair behind my ear with his right hand and held my face with the other. I moved my right hand to pull his hand away, but stopped as I looked into his eyes and spoke. "Sean..." I trailed off as I got lost in his blue eyes. He swallowed as my tears fell. He quickly wiped them away.

"I can't do this. After everything that's happened between us..." I trailed off as he moved his hands to his sides. **Don't forget about what you did with Jay.**

 ** _Shut up!_**

"I don't know if it's the right time." He looked hurt. "Emma, we've known each other for years and I miss you a lot." He said, as his voice cracked. "I've missed you too, Sean, but we can't be together right now."

 ** _Right now? Try replacing those two words with 'ever again.'_** I thought. **_He still loves you, Em. Give him another chance. You said you didn't want to hurt him again. Well, you're doing it now._**

 **He would hurt more if he found out that you secretly hooked up with Jay over a year ago. Try getting rid of that memory. At least you wouldn't have to tell him if you were broken up.** The other voice in my head reminded me.

 ** _Shut up, NOW!_**

He sighed, frowning. "Emma, we can be when I get out of here." I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment. "Sean," I opened my eyes. "I'm still deeply in love with you. I have been for awhile, but we can't right now." I didn't want to break his heart again, but I did and he didn't know it at all. I have to talk to Jay when I get done here. I knew I hurt Sean when I was crying in Toby's shoulder and saw his expression.

"I know you and I know how you're feeling right now." His eyes searched mine for a moment before he spoke. "You're worried about me in here." I gave him a small smile. "Like I said, I know you." I looked down for a split second when he lifted my face to look at him. "I still love you. After you left the party, I was crying at the top of the stairs." I saw the love in his eyes that was only for me.

"Yeah before you and Ashley were having a make out session." I said, pulling away from him.

 **You don't have a right to judge him for making out with Ashley when you did something worse with his best friend.**

 ** _Shut the hell up!_**

"Emma, that was a mistake. Ashley knew that I was hurting and she kissed me." I glared at him. "You kissed her back and then you left." I said, angrily. **Again, you don't have a right to judge.**

"I couldn't handle seeing you cry because of me." He said, as I started crying, feeling worse because I haven't told him the truth.

 **Ironically, I'm crying because of what I did while you were out of town.** He held me in his arms as I tried to breathe again. Tears clouded my vision and I could barely see anything. I felt like shit because I felt like it was my fault he was in here. **Just like it's your fault you and Jay hooked up?**

"I shouldn't have pushed you to the ground. It was an accident. I would never do that on purpose. You know that, Em. It's the last thing I ever want to do. I'd rather get hurt instead, which is why I got in between you and Rick."

 **I wish someone would just kill me now. Oh, wait. The guilt is doing that just fine.**

"Oh, please. Rick wouldn't have done anything." I scoffed. "Maybe, maybe not, but either way he had a gun in his hand and pointed it at you. I couldn't let you get hurt-or worse-which is why I fought him for the gun." He said with pain in his eyes. I could tell that the thought of losing me was killing him. **Well, well, well. What will his reaction be if he finds out?**

"Sean, you could have gotten yourself killed. When I heard the gunshot, I thought you got hit. I don't know what I would done if anything bad happened to you. I can't lose you again. I've lost you twice when we broke up and I'm not going to risk it a third time." I said as I continued crying. The tears wouldn't stop, but Sean still wiped them away. **Ironically, you are risking it now. You will lose him if he ever finds out. He'll be PISSED AS HELL if he ever discovers the truth.**

"Hey, I'm right here and I'm not going to leave you again. I promise. Please give me another chance." He said, as I shook my head. **Sorry Sean. I have to keep my own ass out of the water this time and the only way to do that is to keep you at a distance.**

"I can't, Sean. I'm sorry." **Because you know you will rip his heart out, once again, just like you always do.** He held my face in his hands and then kissed me. I kissed him back for a few seconds. I've missed him so much. **WRONG THING TO DO, EMMA. DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU ARE GIVING THIS BOY A MAJOR HEARTBREAK LATER!**

"Emma, please." He said after he pulled away. I shook my head. I've never seen him this hurt before. **Trust me. Just imagine Rick killing you. then multiply that by eternity. That's how bad it will be when Sean finds out.**

He sighed. "If we can't get back together now, then at least wait for me." He kissed me again with so much love it made me dizzy. **Guilt trip.** He must have noticed because he held onto me, making sure I didn't fall. "Emma," he whispered, his voice soft. "Please. Wait for me." I kissed him just as much love as he gave me just moments before. **More guilt. Great. Just kill me now.**

"I love you." He smiled. **Sean, why do you have to be so damn charming and sweet? You're KILLING me, over here.**

"Don't forget that." His eyes were full of love, which is what I don't deserve. I had to get out of here before I said something that will get him suspicious. **Please let me forget that he said those words to me.** "I have something for you." I said as I pulled a picture out of my back pocket. "It's the photo from our first date." He looked at it, then kissed me again, excitedly. "Thank you so much, Em." He picked me up and started spinning me around before I was placed on the ground again. I almost fell, but he caught me in time. "I thought that would make you happy." He smiled and his eyes held so much emotion in them.

"It does. Now I won't have to imagine your beautiful face when I can just look at this." I said, as he looked at the picture. "Sean, that was 6 years ago. I was awkward back then. I don't know which look of mine is worse; that look I had at 13 or the one at my mom's wedding." I said, smiling. "Either way, it doesn't matter, because you're always beautiful to me." I smiled and was about to thank him, when the guard came back and unlocked the door.

"I'm sorry to break this up, but visiting hours are almost over." I nodded and turned to Sean. "I'll be back soon. I promise and I'll do my best to help you." He raised his eyebrow, curious, waiting for me to say something. "How?" He asked, as I smirked at him. "You'll see."

"Guys." The guard said as I turned to him. I signaled to him to give us a moment then looked back at Sean. "I love you, Emma." He said, as I kissed him. He pulled away. "I love you too, Sean. I promise, I'll do something to help you." He smiled as he held my hand before I let go.

I turned back to see him smile, but noticed that he had a little bit of sadness mixed in with love, happiness and trust in his eyes. "You're the only girl for me." I smiled. **STOP KILLING ME with your charm and being so sweet. I don't deserve you!** "You're the only one for me, Sean. There is no one else. I promise. You always have my heart with you." **LIES! Remember Jay at the ravine? Yeah! What do you have to say about that now?** He had tears in his eyes. I went up to him and wiped them away before I left, feeling guilty about what happened between myself and Jay over a year before.

 **You should feel guilty. That boy will be facing major heartbreak because of you. How do you think he will handle that?**

* * *

What do you all think?


	3. Chapter 3

**I edited this chapter, so here it is.**

If you have any ideas then message me.

 **Emma's POV:**  
I sighed as I sat down on my bed, later that night. My mind wouldn't stop racing, so I decided to go for a walk and ended up at the Ravine. I didn't see anyone else, except Jay.

"Emma? What are you doing here?" He asked, as he looked at me. He was sitting down on the top of the table and looked at me curiously. I walked over and sat down on the bench, so I was a little shorter than he was at the moment. "Just felt like going for a walk." I shrugged, then looked around. Everything is the same like it was a year ago.

"Is everything okay? You're tense." He asked, worried. "You'll snap in half if you don't relax." He replied, as he rubbed my arm. He said the same thing over a year ago. "I'm always tense." I replied, remembering that day clearly.

I shook my head to get the memory out. "Emma, what are you thinking about?" I realized that I was staring at the van, so I quickly turned back to him and saw worry in his eyes. I guess he cared about me because I meant everything to Sean. I nodded and smiled. "I'm fine. Just wish Sean wasn't in jail right now." I sighed as Jay put his hand on my shoulder. "It's not your fault, Emma." I disagreed.

"If I wasn't dating Peter, Sean wouldn't have gotten jealous, been racing, hit someone and got sent to jail." I ran my hand through my hair.

"Like I said, it's not your fault. Sean only did it because he was jealous. You know how he is when he's angry." I looked at him. "He didn't expect you to move on to someone else and was hurt when you dated someone else who wasn't him. He still loves you and I can't blame him at all because you're his first love and you mean everything to him. He loves you more than anything. It's difficult for him to move on from you because you two are meant to be together. Trust me. He would wait for you."

I looked down. "He asked me to wait for him while he's stuck in jail and asked if we could get back together after he gets out. I told him that I couldn't do that."

"Why? He loves you and you love him, so why wait?" He wasn't mad, just curious. I decided to lie a little bit. "I don't know how long it will be until he gets out. He shouldn't be in there at all."

I could tell that Jay believed me. I sighed in relief since he didn't notice I was sort of lying. Technically I did tell him the truth, but I just didn't tell him the whole truth.

He looked at me curiously. "Emma, Sean is still in love with you after 6 years." I smiled, sadly as I remembered all the fights we had after we broke up. I remembered him slamming the locker next to me and then walking away after we got into an argument about how he hangs out with Jay and his gang, due to me neglecting him because of Snake having cancer. I remember ignoring/avoiding him after he accidentally pushed me to the ground during a fight with Jimmy.

"I hated it whenever we fought. I still love him, but..." I didn't want to hurt him again. I didn't say that to Jay though, because he would tell Sean and I didn't feel like getting into a fight with him, especially since I feel guilty about what I did here over a year ago with the boy right in front of me, who is Sean's best friend. I betrayed him, even though he and I weren't dating at that time.

How do I even begin to tell him what I did with Jay in the Ravine? If I start dropping hints about making mistakes and how I'm not perfect, then he will know something is up and I can't let that happen. He had just broke up with Ellie, so he and I weren't together back then at all around that time. It just sort of happened. I guess I could blame part of it on the shooting-I was depressed after almost getting a gun pointed at my head by Rick Murray and not to mention, Sean getting shot in the arm while he wrestled Rick for the gun which led to Sean accidentally killing him, in self defense, and blaming himself for it-but I knew that wasn't the only reason I acted out.

I missed Sean when he went back to Wasaga. Jay, Ellie, Sean and I went there and we returned while Sean stayed behind. I know that was another reason why I was depressed after the shooting. Sean has been a big part of my life since I was about 13, so it was kind of difficult not being around due to him leaving town for awhile after most colossal moments of our lives. I guess being around Jay made me feel like Sean hadn't really left, so I went to the Ravine one night and hooked up with Jay that night and didn't come back home until 2 in the morning.

I felt so horrible about it because Sean and I never kept secrets from each other the whole time we were dating, since we agreed to have honesty in our relationship and we never had a problem with it, until now. I would never hide anything from him, but I know how he is when he's angry.

His anger took hold of him when he was fighting Jimmy and he accidentally shoved me to the ground. That was the only time he did that.

"You're worried about another break up." Jay guessed, as I looked at him. I nodded, because that was part of the truth, but not the whole truth. "Emma, you don't have to worry about that. If you two are really meant to be together-which I believe you are-then you will find a way to be together. Whatever it takes. Sean has never given up on you and he's not going to start now. Sure you two have been through your break ups, but you always find a way back to each other." I smiled, but then frowned.

"What is it?" He asked, as I looked at the van for a few moments and turned back to him, raising my eyebrow questionably. "Oh, that. Don't worry about it." Jay said, as I kept on staring at him. I waited for him to say anything else, but he didn't.

"Jay, we both know that it was a mistake and didn't mean anything to either of us, but how am I supposed to tell him about that night?" He shook his head. "Don't tell him while he's in jail because if you do, it won't be good. Just tell him after he gets out, but wait awhile before you do so he can adjust and you can figure out how to tell him." I sighed, frowning, but nodded. "I'm going to go home." I said, as my phone beeped, signaling I had a text message.

I looked at it and was confused, but curious at the same time. Jay nodded after I read the message.


	4. Chapter 4

**Emma's POV:  
** _I couldn't move from where I was standing in the school hallway that always creeps me out. I looked ahead to see Rick staring at me. His appearance was the same, minus the paint and feathers. He looked at me with the same expression he had when I last saw him before he was killed by Sean. "Hi, Emma." He said, walking towards me as I stepped back a few feet. I wanted nothing more than to get away from him. I looked around. Damn it. It was just the two of us in the hallway this time. The same hallway he was shot in._

 _"What's the matter, Emma?" He already knew the answer, but he asked it anyways. I didn't answer. "Are you worried I'm going to kill you?" He laughed darkly. I was so nervous to be near him without Sean or anyone else next to me. Hell, even Ellie would help me keep calm and that's saying something since Sean and her used to date after we broke up. Ugh! Even though, I was jealous about Ellie being with Sean, I wouldn't mind if she was the one who kept me calm right now. Trust me. I don't wish any harm to the second girl Sean said he loved, but I just wish someone would help me because being around Rick without anyone on my side it's just scary. No one would be able to tell anyone what had happened._

 _I swallowed my fears down and stared at him. His expression was neutral, but his eyes were angry and hurt. "Rick, stop." I eyed the gun in his hand. "Put it down, please." He didn't seem to be listening to me. "It's too late. I've already shot someone." He said, as he raised the gun to my face. "In case you are wondering, no, I didn't shoot your ex boyfriend." He said, but I don't know if I believed him or not. "Where is Sean?" I asked, angry. Even after everything that's happened between us, I still love him. "Don't worry about him. He's fine," Rick paused and looked at me with his cold eyes staring back at me. I had chill running through me. "but you won't be." He pulled the trigger and I fell to the ground before I blacked out._

I screamed with tears running down my face. "No!" I yelled through the darkness of my bedroom and struggled to breath. My heart was pounding and not in the good way either. The door opened at the top of the stairs. "Emma, are you okay?" My parents asked, running towards me, as I cried. I couldn't see through my tears because my vision was blurred. Mom turned my lamp on and looked at me. "What happened, Em?" I started crying as she held onto me. I could tell that they were worried, but I didn't say anything.

I wish Sean could be here with me, but I knew that the day of the shooting was difficult for him. He had to watch Rick almost kill me, he got shot and then he accidentally killed Rick in self defense. I felt like I was going to get sick, so I ran to the bathroom and threw up. I couldn't breath after that and passed out on the floor.

I woke up about an hour or two later. My parents checked on me for awhile, until I convinced them that I was fine. I wasn't, but I didn't want them to worry more, especially after everything that went on with dad's cancer.

I decided to get ready for school, so I got dressed, brushed my teeth and walked into the living room. Mom was in the living room and looked at me as I grabbed my bag. I could see the worry in her eyes. "Emma, are you sure you're okay?" She asked, as I nodded. I kenw she meant me screaming, crying and throwing up earlier.

She nodded as I walked to thr door. "If you don't feel good then you can come back home." I nodded and headed outside, only to find Jay waiting for me in his orange civic. I raised my eyebrow and looked at him before I got in.

"Hey, Greenpeace." I rolled my eyes. "Can you stop calling me that?" I asked, but smiled, letting him know that it didn't really bother me at all. "Nope." I turned away and looked out the window as Jay drove us to school. "So, why did you decide to drive me to school? We haven't hung out since...well...you know." I trailed off, awkwardly. "I'm sorry about that, Emma. That shouldn't have happened at all." I nodded, agreeing with him. The saddest thing is that I don't even think I thought about how Sean would feel about it at the time. I hate myself for that. I mean Jay is his best friend and I'm his ex girlfriend, but-despite that-I still love Sean.

We made it to school as everyone turned to look at us. "Thanks, Jay." I said, as I took off the seatbelt then I whispered, "You know, you're not as bad as I thought you were when we first met." I grabbed my bag and got out, leaving him shocked and confused. I walked into school and heard people whispering.

 _"I thought she was dating Sean Cameron...but she arrived here with Jay Hogart. What the heck is going on?"_

 _"Is she with Jay now?"_

 _"What about Sean?"_

 _"What will Sean think about this when he comes back?"_

I ignored everyone and went to my locker. Manny walked up to me as I was putting my switched my stuff out. "Emma, what is going on between you and Jay Hogart?" I shook my head and turned to her shocked face before I got my notebook and put it in my bag. "Nothing. He came by my house and brought me here." I said, as she looked at me. "That's it? Nothing else happened?" I shook my head and shut my locker. "What will Sean think when he finds out?" I knew she was worried, but there is nothing to worry about.

"Jay and I may be friends because I told him that he's not as bad as I thought. He looked shocked and confused as I walked away. Nothing is happening and Sean should be happy because Jay and I aren't arguing at all. Having him around makes my life easier since I can't really see Sean until he gets out of jail." I explained, as she looked at me, still shocked. We were walking to class now.

"Em, what if Sean finds out about you know what? He will be furious." I sighed. "It's been over a year. Sean has nothing to worry about." I said as we made it to class. "I love him, not Jay." I sat down in my seat as my phone beeped. I turned it on vibrate and ignored the text. I'll check it after I talked to Simpson.


	5. Chapter 5

**HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE. My New Year's resolution is to update my stories more often, IF I have any ideas for future chapters.** I know you guys are probably missing Sean a lot, like I am, and want him to make an appearance, but don't worry. He will soon. I can promise you that. He can't stay in jail forever. **Enjoy the story everyone.**

I hope you like it. **By the way, Semma WILL end up together, but there will be some surprises for Emma, her friends and every one of you who is reading. Please do not get mad at me if I put something in here that upsets you, because I'm honestly not trying to, but just keep in mind that some things in the story is used to MAKE THE STORY FLOW. TRUST ME, I LOVE SEMMA, so they WILL end up together in this story, but that doesn't mean that there won't be drama, because they will since it's Degrassi.**

I'm just asking all of you to keep an open mind. I'm not being mean, but I hope you understand.

 **Thank you all so much for reading my story. I've reached 105 views and got 7 reviews. Keep them coming, please. You guys are amazing and I'm so happy you guys are reading my story.**

Enjoy.

 **Emma's POV:**  
I went to Simpson's office after school and knocked on the door. "Come in." He said, as I walked in and looked at him. "Emma, what do you need?" I looked at him. He seemed better, which is good, but he still looked a little tired. "Have you talked to anyone about Sean's jail problem?" I asked, anxiously. Can you blame me? I miss him. "I've made a few calls, but no one has called me back." Before I could say anything, the the phone rings and I walk out the door. I open my phone outside the office and look at it. _**Emma, I need to talk to you...Please talk to me. It's important.**_ I read the messages in confusion. I didn't know who it is though. Probably Jay, I guessed.

I shrugged and went to my locker. "Hey, Emma." I heard Manny next to me. "What's up?" I asked, as Manny looked at me. "Not much. You?" She asked, as I shrugged and turned back to my locker. "Em, are you okay?" She replied, concerned. "I'm fine. I just miss Sean that's all. He shouldn't be in there at all. Stupid Peter." I muttered, as Manny looked over my shoulder and said, "Speaking of Peter, there he is." I cursed under my breath. "Hey, Babe." He kissed me on the lips and I pulled away. "What the hell is your problem?" I asked, angry.

"What are you talking about?" He asked, trying to look innocent. "You were the one who put my ex boyfriend in Jail." I hissed at him. My eyes narrowed at him as I glared a death look at him. "I hate you." I told him before I walked away and went to class. My phone beeped again as I walked down the hallway with Manny. I looked at it _ **. PLEASE!**_ It read as I sighed and Manny looked at me curiously. "Who's that?" She asked, teasingly. **(1)**

"I have no idea," I saw Jay and Alex in the hallway just like they were that day when I went to the Ravine over a year ago. **(2)** I shook my head to stop that memory. I hated thinking about that, knowing that Sean would be pissed if he ever finds out. Damn it! I punched a locker, glaring at Jay before I walked off.

Manny and I made it to class and when we got out, Ellie Nash was waiting for me and called my name, but I ignored her and kept walking. "Emma, can we talk?" I glared at her. "What do you want?" I asked, with venom in my voice. She looked at me. apologetically. "Emma, please." I walked away as she grabbed my arm. I looked down and noticed hers had scars. She pulled the sleeve down. "Ellie, what happened to your arm?" I asked, as she looked at me. She tried to walk away, but I wouldn't let her. I stood in front of her and crossed my arms.

"Ellie, look. I know we aren't exactly friends due to our mutual ex boyfriend-who is my first love by the way-but I want to try and help." She looked hesitant, then she smiled at me. "Ok. Do you want to talk at the Dot?" She nodded as I put my books in my bag then walked to my car. I got in as she got in the passenger seat. I looked at her as she looked out the window and asked, "How is Sean?" I could feel her eyes on me, but I looked at the road. "He's been better, but at the same time he's worried about me." I said, as she sighed.

I parked the car and got out. I shut my door as Ellie did the same. We walked in the Dot and sat down. Ellie looked worried. "Are you okay?" I asked her and before she could reply Spinner came up to us. "Hey, Spin. I will have a Coke and some fries." I turned to Ellie. She told him what she wanted as my phone beeped. I ignored it. Spinner nodded as I looked at Ellie. Spinner walked away as she turned to me. Silence followed for awhile, until he brought us our food. We ate as we chatted for awhile about anything and everything. After we were done eating, the conversation turned to Sean.

"I'm fine, Emma." I raised an eyebrow as she sighed. "It's just...after everything Sean did for me, he doesn't deserve to be in there.." I nodded, smiling. "I've been in love with Sean since the first time I saw him and I will always love him, but I don't know if we are going to get back together once he gets out of jail." She seemed confused, "Why?"

"Because I think he needs to be with you." With that I paid for the food and walked out. "Emma, wait!" Ellie yelled as she ran after me and grabbed my arm. I turned around and faced her.

"What?!" She let go of my arm. "Why would you say that? You love him and he loves you. You two are meant to be together. He wants you, not me." I glared at her. "Trust me, he will change his mind." I said, before I walked away and got in my car. I slammed the door and she got in as well.

"Emma, he needs you right now. I may have made him happy, but you do it without even trying." I scoffed. "All Sean and I did was hurt each other." She shook her head. "I don't believe that." She said, curiously. "He accidentally shoved me when I tried to break up the fight between him and Jimmy. I was pissed because I saw his friendship with Jay as a threat to my relationship. I hurt him because I distancing myself from him-unintentionally-because Simpson had cancer and he felt neglected by me because I couldn't spend more time with him." I sighed, as I looked down.

"Emma, it's okay. Sean still loves you." I shook my head and looked at her arm again, deciding to change the subject. "What happened to your arm?" She looked at her arm and rolled the sleeves up. There were cuts all over her arm, but some of the were new while the others weren't. "Ellie," I said, softly. "It was the only pain I could control. My dad was stationed overseas and my mom was an alcoholic which is why I moved in with Sean after she set the house on fire." She explained, and smiled. "Because of Sean, I stopped cutting." She looked at me. "You're phone is going off." I didn't care, but I opened the text message anyways. _**Emma, if I were you, I would watch your back.**_

I dialed a number and let it ring. "Toby, it's me. I need your help tomorrow." I said before I hung up and drove away from the Dot, towards Ellie's house. I drove, not saying anything. _**Who keeps on texting me? Could it be a member of the Candy Bandits, who is Jay's gang?**_

"Emma, Sean's a good guy. I can see how much you love him. Don't give up on him or we are going to have a problem." She said as she shut the door behind her and turned around to look at me. I smiled. "I'll try not to break his heart again." She smiled back. "You two have had your arguments and end up hurting each other. I'm not asking you to hurt him again, because I know both of you will say and do stuff you regret since no relationship is easy, but I **AM** asking you to stay by his side and **NOT** give up on him. That would hurt him more than anything else you have said or done when you were together. Please, promise me you won't abandoned him when he needs you the most." I smiled a little. "I promise." She smiled happily, then left.

 **A/N:** Hey, Everyone. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, as much as I loved writing it.

 **(1): Manny said, "Who's that?" in the same way Demi Lovato said in that old video of her and Selena Gomez when they were on Disney channel. It was the one that Miley and Mandy made fun of after Selena "Stole" Nick Jonas away from Miley.**

 **(2): "Secret Part (1)" when Emma sees them in the hallway and Jay said, "Take a picture it'll last longer."**


	6. Chapter 6

**What did you think about the last chapter? Were you surprised by Emma's conversation with Ellie and how she tried to get her to be with Sean? Comment your thoughts and message me your questions if you have any. What do you think will happen next? I'm listening to Selena's music. "I could fall in love" is the one I'm listening to right now. Thank you all so much for reading my story. I've reached 200** **views and got 8 comments. YOU ALL ARE AMAZING. Keep them coming, please. You guys are amazing and I'm so happy you guys are reading my story. There will be more drama in the next few chapters. Let's just say you won't expect any of it. I'm just getting started.**

Enjoy.

 **Emma's POV:**  
I drove home, thinking about what Ellie said. I don't care what the hell she has to say. Sean will need her more than ever if anything happened to me. I parked in the driveway and got out of the car. I walked inside to see Snake and mom looking at me worriedly. I sighed as I put my book bag on the table. "Emma, are you okay?" Mom asked, as I faked a smile. "I'm fine. Why?" I lied, but they still looked worried. "Because you haven't had any friends over in a few days. Manny hasn't called you at all and we know you miss Sean, but Snake will find a way to get him out of Jail." He looked at me. "I'm doing my best, Emma." I nodded and grabbed my bag. "I'm gonna do my homework," They nodded and I went to my bedroom before they could say anything else.

I sighed as I put my bag down on the ground and laid down on my bed looking at the ceiling. I skipped dinner and just kept on laying down on my bed. I ignored my mom calling me to eat dinner. Instead I snuck out of my room and ended up one of the two places that makes my life hell: The Ravine.

I knew I shouldn't have gone there that night, but there is nothing I can do about it now **.** I stared at the Van and shook my head. I don't know how long I sat there, but I knew that it was time to go home soon.

I woke up in my bed the next morning and drove to the school. "Hey, Emma. Do you want to hangout this weekend?" Manny asked as I opened my locker combination. "I can't. Sorry." I said, stiffly. "'I have to get Sean out of there somehow and I think I know how I can do that." I said, as I saw Jay look at me from down the hallway. I looked back at my locker and felt the tears about to fall. "Em, are you okay?" I slammed my locker and left without saying a word, then walked past Jay when he grabbed my arm. "Let me go." I said, coldly. "Whoa, what's going on Greenpeace?" He said as I pulled my arm away from him. "Shut up." I glared at him and then walked out of the school, towards my car. I could feel Manny and Jay staring at me as I left. "What's going on with her? She said she needed my help today, but..." I heard Toby say. "Emma, what are you doing?" JT asked, from where he was sitting on the steps. "Oh, look, Sean's little miss perfect skipping school?" Alex said, as I punched her. She looked shocked and I took that as my chance to get the hell out of there, I got in my car and slammed the door shut.

"Emma, what are you doing?" Ellie asked, as I turned the car on. "Don't talk to me." I said, before I drove away and out of sight of everyone's eyes staring at me in shock.

I drove to the Ravine and looked around before I sat down on the bench. I sighed as I started crying and let myself remember that day that changed my life forever.

 **Flashback:**  
 _I looked down the hallway with Sean and Toby, seeing Rick a few feet away from us. "Hi, Emma," he said as he walked towards us. "I'm sorry I kissed you." Sean gently grabbed my arm and whispered, "He's got a gun., ok? Let's go." All three of us turned to get the hell out of there when Rick yelled, "Don't turn away from me!" His expression didn't reveal anything. "I'm glad I found you, Emma." He slowly started walking towards us again with the gun in his hand. "You made my list." I could feel Sean's hand on my arm, wanting to get me away from the boy who put Terri in a coma. I could feel Sean's desire to protect me. "Rick, what are you doing?" Toby spoke as Rick kept his eyes locked on me, ignoring Toby's question and Sean's attempt to protect me in the line of fire._

 _"You flirted with me; I thought you liked me, but that was something else." He said as Sean slowly moved in front of me and a little towards the boy who was about to shoot my classmates because people bullied him, but it got a lot worse after they found out Terri was in the hospital and were furious at his return to the school when he knew everyone hates him._

 _"Just put the gun down." Sean said, his voice shaking a little bit. "Anything else is just gonna make your life worse." Rick looked angry, but didn't show it. "It can't get any worse." He whispered to my ex while his eyes were still looking at me. "Believe me. It can. I know. We can figure it all out, okay?." Sean said as he walked further away from me and closer to the boy. "We'll figure this all out." Sean said, continuing to try and convince him to put it down and let us go. I was worried about him because Rick could shoot me at anytime, without warning and Sean would never be the same again if anything happened to me. He could go back to his bad boy, Candy Bandits gang days and that's what scares me the most.  
_

 _"It's too late." Rick whispered, as he pointed the gun at me. Sean whispered a small, "No." as he shook his head. I could tell that he was scared, but he tried not to show it. "I've already shot someone." Rick said, as I took a breath, frightened about what could happen next. Rick still has it pointed at me, when Sean looks at me from the corner of his eyes and wrestles Rick for the gun. Toby yells right before a shot goes off as the two of them freeze where they are before they both fall to the floor._

 **End Flashback.**

Shortly after, we found out that Rick was accidentally killed by Sean when they were fighting over the gun. Part of Sean's arm was bandaged up because when he and Rick were fighting for the gun and it went off, the bullet cut Sean's arm and killed the latter. I was so worried about Sean after that because I knew that the media's portrayal of him as a hero for saving my life-and others-were pissing him off due to them constantly asking him to talk about it. That's why he left Degrassi for awhile and went back to Wasaga to live with his parents so he could deal with all of it without as much media asking him about it all the time.

I sighed as I looked around the Ravine and decided to go home. I didn't feel like eating dinner, so I skipped it. My parents were waiting for me when I got back. "Emma, why did you skip school today," Snake asked me as I looked down at the ground. "and why did you sneak out of the house? Not to mention you skipped dinner tonight." When I looked up, I could see his worried expression. I sighed as I sat down on my bed. "Em?" Mom said, concerned. "We just want to help you. I know the shooting has been difficult for you, but you can't let that event-as traumatic as it was-ruin your whole life." I felt tears in my eyes, but didn't let them fall.

"It just wasn't the shooting, mom." They looked at each other confused. "Sean was the one who risked his life to save mine. I had to watch as he moved in front of me and tried to convince Rick to let us go. When Rick pointed that gun at me, I thought he was going to kill me. I knew that Sean would do anything to save me and he did when he fought Rick for the gun. He got shot with the same bullet that killed Rick. I thought I lost him and I never want to go through that again." I said, as I started crying. "I can't lose Sean because I love him. I didn't want him to fight Rick for it, but he did. He protected me that day, but now that he is in jail-thanks to Peter-I want to get him out of there more than ever."

"You love him." Mom said, smiling. "Emma, you don't have to worry about Sean. We will do everything we can to get him out of there." Snake said, as I smiled, through my tears. "Emma, I think you need to see a counselor." Snake said, as I nodded. "Do not skip school or sneak out of the house again or you won't be able to see your friends for a week." I nodded.

 **Uh, oh. Seems like Emma got into some trouble. What do you think? Please, tell me your thoughts about this chapter and the last one. I would love to hear your input.** Don't worry. Sean will get out of jail. I promise.

 **What do you think will happen next, because it seems like Emma is being a little bit of a rebel.** **Will she** **stop being a rebel** **, or will** **she continue and let** **it lead** **her to a** **decision that she can't take back?** **Hmmm...Stay turned, please. You will NOT** **want to miss the rest of the story.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Comment your thoughts and message me your questions if you have any. What do you think will happen next? I've reached 256** **views and got 10 comments. YOU ALL ARE AMAZING. Keep them coming, please. I'm so happy you guys are reading my story. There will be more drama in the next few chapters. Let's just say you won't expect any of it. I'm just getting started.** Enjoy. **This story is also on Wattpad. Same username and everything. You can message me on Instagram by typing in the same username I have on here.**

BTW, I forgot to mention there are a few things that are different in this story:

 **Jay never got expelled from Degrassi, no one knows about Emma having Gonorrhea from the hooking up with Jay at the Ravine and no one know about Emma "and Jay hooking up, except Manny.** **I think that's it.** I hope you like this chapter.

 **Emma's POV:  
** I walked into school the next day and headed for my locker, grabbing my books for class and put them in my bag next to my diary, before I shut my locker. I turned around to see Jay looking at me. "Can we talk?" He asked, as I nodded. I sighed as we sat down on the stairs inside the foyer of the school. He looked like he's been waiting to talk to me for awhile. "I know that Sean's situation has been hard for you, but I want to try and help you." I glared at him. "I do **NOT** need your help, Jay. Not after what happened." I moved to stand up, but he grabbed my wrist as I met his eyes. "Look, I know we aren't exactly friends, due to our past history, but I do want to help you. Can we at least try to be friends without arguing?" I sighed as he let go of my wrist. "For Sean. He doesn't like being in the middle of our arguments. Please." Maybe it was the desperation in his voice or the fact that Sean would like it if his best friend and former girlfriend got along.

Little does he know that we got along a little too well at the Ravine when he was in Wasaga after the shooting. "Fine. I'll do it, but only because Sean's happiness and safety means everything to me." He nodded and smiled. "Thank you." I nodded right before the bell rang. "I got to get to class." He nodded before I grabbed my bag and left.

"Emma, wait." I turned around and looked at him. "I'm here whenever you need someone to talk to." I smiled and headed off to class. "Haven't you noticed that Emma's been acting a little weird since yesterday?" Manny asked Toby and Liberty. "Shh. Here she comes." Liberty said, right as I walked up to them. I pretended not to hear anything. "Hey, guys." I said, as I saw JT sitting beside Liberty. "Hey, JT." **(1)** I smiled at them as Manny looked at me concerned.

At lunch, I didn't feel like eating at all, so I just didn't get any food. "No food?" Liberty said as I shrugged. She and Manny looked at each other concerned, but quickly looked away. "I just didn't feel like it." I said as Manny wanted to say something, but didn't when Jay walked over to us. "Hey, Greenpeace." I rolled my eyes. "You do know that the nickname is getting old right." I said, smirking at him. "So? It never does for me Greenpeace." He smirked at me before I turned away from him. "I hate you." I said, as he looked at me. "No you don't."

"Shut up, Jay." I said as Manny looked at me, worried. I caught her before she quickly turned to Toby. "Emma, are you sure you're okay? We are all worried about you. Please tell me you're not going back to being Anorexic." Manny said, as I glared at her. "Of course not." I said, as Jay looked at me, curious and concerned along with JT, Liberty and Toby. "Why would I?" She shrugged, before she spoke. "Just after everything that's happened with Rick and the shooting, I thought..." She cut herself off, as I glared at her. "You thought what? That I would end up like that again after the shooting and Sean being in jail? Well, I'm not and don't ever bring up the shooting-or anyone directly involved in it-to me ever again. Leave me alone and don't even talk to me." I stood up, grabbed my bag and left the cafeteria.

I walked away, very pissed off. I hated Rick for what he did, especially after he almost killed me and Sean got hurt. I can't believe he thought that would be a good idea. I will always hate him for what he did. "Emma, wait." Jay said as I walked through the doors. I turned to him. "What?" I asked as I he didn't say anything for a moment. "Let me help you with whatever you're going through." I shook my head and walked away, despite him calling my name. I headed to the library to get some homework finished when my cell phone let me know that I had a text. **Emma, please let me help you. I promise. You won't regret it.** I ignored the text and suddenly my phone started blowing up with notifications from Manny, JT, Liberty and Toby. I didn't care enough to respond to them though.

At the end of lunch, I made my way to class and sat down. Jay sat next to me, but I ignored him. We were walking out of class when he asked me if I wanted to hangout with him so I could get everything off my mind. I agreed. "Hey, Emma. Do you want to hangout tonight?" Manny asked from behind me at the top of the stairs outside the school. I shook my head. "Sorry; Jay and I are hanging out tonight." I said before I walked over to his Orange Civic with him. I got in the car and we drove away.

It was awkward for a bit, especially since Jay and I hooked up at the Ravine last year. I shook that thought off, not wanting to remember how I betrayed Sean, even though we weren't dating at the time. My phone rang. "Ellie, why are you calling me?" I asked, confused. "Emma, Manny, JT, Toby, Jay and I are worried. We all need to talk, ASAP. Where are you?" I sighed, not wanting to discuss this. "It doesn't matter, Ellie." I said, angrily. "Emma, do you think Sean would be very happy if he knew that you've been skipping school, not eating and distancing yourself from us?" I hated it when she was right, but I also hated it when she brought up Sean. "You know he wouldn't. He would be just as worried as the rest of us." She said, which made me feel more guilt. "I don't think you love him at all, do you?"

"Of course, I do. I've just needed some space." She scoffed. "If you really love him like you say you do, then you wouldn't be doing this to yourself." **I snapped.** "Don't you dare use my love for him against me. You don't know anything about our relationship." I said, before I hung up. "Everything alright?" Jay asked, worried. "I'm fine, but Ellie questioning my feeling for Sean, not to mention actually saying it pisses me off." Jay laid his hand on my knee. "I know you love him and he feels the same way. I can see the way you two look at each other. He loves you more than anything or anyone else in his life. You will always be his everything, Emma. The guy won't shut up about you." I smiled, then frowned. "What is it?" He asked, looking at me before he looked back at the road.

"Did he really love Ellie at all?" I asked and looked away so he wouldn't see me tearing up. "He may have loved her, but not as much as he loves you." I smiled and soon it was back to silence. A few minutes we left Degrassi, we were at the Ravine. Jay got out of the car and opened my door for me. I smiled as we walked towards the bench and I shook my head when I saw the van. "Emma, I know something is bothering you. If you want to talk about it, we can. Only if you want to though." I smiled, but shook my head.

"Not right now." We sat in silence for awhile, before Jay and I actually started talking about anything and everything. I didn't mind hanging out with Jay because he lets the subject drop, but it was kind of weird hanging out with him again. "Hey, I think I know something that will take the edge off." Jay said as he handed me a can. I looked at it, before my eyes widened. _Beer._ I looked at Jay, questionably, before I shrugged and opened it. I took a sip-it tasted awful-but soon I started drinking more of it. Soon, I was finished with the whole can. "Damn, Greenpeace." Jay said, as I looked at him.

I did feel better; I wasn't drunk, just a little tipsy. Thanks to Jay, I've never felt more alive.

 **Uh, oh. It seems like Emma is in some trouble. Will she continue to rebel and go down a dangerous path which could lead to a decision that she may or may not be able to take back, or will she be able to go back to her Good Girl days? Hmm...Keep reading to find out.**

 **(1): All of you who are fans of JT, you're welcome.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Comment your thoughts and message me your questions if you have any. What do you think will happen next? I've reached 305** **views and got 11 comments. YOU ALL ARE AMAZING. Keep them coming, please. I'm so happy you guys are reading my story. There will be more drama in the next few chapters. Let's just say you won't expect any of it. I'm just getting started.** Enjoy. **This story is also on Wattpad. Same username and everything. You can message me on Instagram by typing in the same username I have on here.**

 **There is a scene which some of you may recognize. I know you all will remember it if you've seen Season 12 of Degrassi.**

I hope you like this chapter.

 **Emma's POV:  
** The weekend went by quickly. I woke up on Saturday with a headache and didn't feel well. I felt better by Sunday, but I didn't feel like doing anything. The following Monday came by too quickly for me, because I didn't really want to go to school and see everyone again. Unfortunately, I didn't have a choice, so I did my normal routine and by the time I was done, a car horn was heard outside. I grabbed my bag and went outside. "Hey, Greenpeace." Jay said, as I got in the car. I nodded in response. "Jay," he turned to me and his eyes met mine. "Did anything happen Friday night? I woke up with a headache that still hasn't gone away." I sighed, as I looked out the window.

"You were drinking a little bit." I didn't say anything and he continued. "Beer. You only had one, though." I raised an eyebrow. "I promise." I was so confused. "You were at the ravine with me and I brought you home." I must have panicked a bit, because I felt a little less tension from his hand on my shoulder. "I promise. No one saw me or you passed out; I got you to your room without any problems." I smiled, as he let go of my shoulder. We drove away from my house and hung out at the Ravine. I messaged my mom to tell her that I was out with a friend and said that it was fine. Jay and I started hanging out on Sunday, too.

Soon, Monday arrived-all too quickly for me and Jay once again drove me to school. We arrived at Degrassi. I don't know why, but I felt safe with him near me. I guess it was because he and I were quickly becoming friends, but I hoped that we wouldn't get too close. Sean wouldn't like it if something else happened when he was in jail.

I got out of Jay's car and walked inside, while people were staring at me. "Hey, we need to hangout sometime." Manny said, as I nodded. I didn't feel like it though, to be honest, but I didn't tell her that. "So, rumor has it that Jay Hogart has been driving you to school, recently." I looked at her and saw Jay smirking from behind her. I pulled her into the girls room and quickly looked under the stalls to see if anyone was in there with us. Once I was satisfied, I turned to Manny. "Nothing happened. I swear; Jay just took drove me to school." She raised an eyebrow. "Ok, Em, but when Sean gets out of jail, you will have to tell him." I nodded, knowing that I didn't have a choice; Sean and I promised to always be honest about stuff. He can't get mad at me for what happened at the Ravine with Jay because he and I weren't dating at the time, considering the fact that he was in Wasaga and he had just broken up with Ellie the day he decided to stay with his parents.

I sighed, as I knew that she was right. I would have to tell him eventually, even though I knew that I would be dreading that day I until it happened. He would be very angry, hurt and jealous. I mean Jay is Sean's best friend, so how in the hell do I begin to tell him about what Jay and I did in the Ravine? I know that he loves me, but that doesn't mean that he won't be angry when he finds out. "I will, but not right away. I want to tell him when I'm ready." She nodded, as the door opened and Ellie came in. "A rumor is going around school that you have been getting pretty close with Jay Hogart." She raised an eyebrow, as I quickly went out the door thanks to the bell ringing, which saved me from answering her comment/accusation.

My phone beeped, throughout classes and it got so badly that I had to turn it off, but when I did the teacher took it, put it on his desk and said I could have it back at the end of the day. I nodded, but class went by too slowly. Finally-after what felt like forever-I got my phone back, and turned it back on. It had a ton of text messages, but I didn't care. "Wow. Someone is really trying to get your attention." Manny said, as we walked out of class together after the teacher handed me my phone back. "Manny, there has to be someone you like in this school." I said, as I tried to change the subject to get the attention off of me. I bet it was secretly Ellie who was blowing up my phone, but I'm not 100% sure it's her just yet. Manny blushed, but didn't say anything. I knew it, but now I'm wondering who it could be. "Come on, Manny, just tell me. Please." She rolled her eyes, as I decided to drop the subject, for now.

I went to lunch and everyone was already sitting there, including Jay. "Emma," I heard Ellie's voice as I looked at her. "Oh, great." I muttered under my breath. "Ellie, if this is about what's happened recently, then don't even bother." I said, as she shook her head. "It's not. Trust me." I glared at her. "Why should I? You were the one that asked me if I really fell in love with Sean, when you already know the answer to that." I said, as everyone looked at us. "You're still doing the same thing again, aren't you?"

"Why in the hell do you care? We have never been friends and I don't see that changing anytime soon. The only thing we have in common is the fact that we both dated Sean. That's it." She looked hurt when I asked her why she cared about what I do, but I didn't care at all. "I told you that if you really love him, you would stop doing this. Yet, you haven't. You do know that if you die, he would probably get back together with me, right?" I punched her as she stared at me in shock. "You do know that he will never love you as much as he loves me, right?" I said, as she slapped me. "Not if he finds out everything, Emma and I do mean **everything**." She said, before I slapped her and before we knew it, this was turned into a fight real quick.

We slapped and punched each other, but it ended very quickly, due to Jay grabbing me from behind. "Back off, Hogart." I said as I glared at Ellie. "Emma, this isn't you. Now stop trying to fight me on this." He said calm and worried, as I sighed. Manny had Ellie's arms in her hands, similar to how Jay was holding onto me. Ellie and I glared at each other, as Simpson came in the cafeteria.

"What is going on here?" Simpson said, as he looked at the four of us, while Ellie and I never backed down from our glares we continuing sending to each other. She finally looked away from me as Simpson said for all four of us to follow him. I smirked as Ellie glared in my direction before looking away again.

Soon, all four of us were in Simpson's office. "Alright. Who started the fight?" Simpson asked as he went around his desk. Ellie spoke as she walked in last and stood in front of the wall by the door. "Obviously it wasn't me; I'm the one with the black eyes here." She said as she held an icepack over her right eye. "Mr. Simpson, Emma would never do this if she was acting like herself," Manny said, from her spot by the wall, next to Ellie, while Jay was sitting in the chair in front of Simpson's desk. **A/N: Emma, Manny, Jay and Ellie are in the same respective positions as Cam, Dallas, Maya and Zig were in "Bittersweet Symphony part 1 in Season 12."**

"I would really like to hear from Emma, Manny." He said as I looked at the ground with my arms crossed. I sighed, "I guess my natural instincts took over." Simpson asked, "So it was an accident." Ellie still held the bag over her eye. "Accident? She accidentally elbowed my eye?" She asked, sarcastically and in disbelief. "Yeah. It happens sometimes in life." I said, angrily. "Oh, give me a break. You know what? Ask Jay. He saw the whole thing." Ellie said, as Jay looked at me and then looked away. "Well, tell him." He looked at me before looking away. "I guess, it's like, Emma just snapped or something." I tilted my head and closed my eyes as Simpson said, "Emma started the fight?" I looked at Jay. "Yes." He confirmed. "Well, Ms. Nelson, you are immediately suspended for the rest of the week. I'm booking you to see the guidance counselor when you get back and you'd better keep that appointment." He sighed before he said, "Come on, Ellie. Let's take you to the school nurse," as he made his way to the door. Ellie followed and Jay got up. I did too. "Look, I'm sorry okay? I was just pissed off." Jay turned around to look at me. "Just pissed off. This isn't you, Emma." He said before he walked away. I stood there until he was out of sight.

 **A/N: It would have been Sean in Jay's place fight/principal scene, but obviously Jay is the next best thing. What did you think. Did you like the fight between the girls or the scene in Simpson's office? Let me know what you think. I'll be writing chapter 9 soon. There is A LOT more drama in this story. Trust me.**


	9. chapter 9

**324 views, 11 comments, 3 followers and 3 people have favorited this story. Thank you all so much. Remember, if you like this story, then please consider following it so you don't miss any updates. I hope you like this chapter. Enjoy.**

 **Emma's POV:**  
Simpson and I walked in the house and saw mom in the kitchen. "Emma, Snake? What happened?" Snake looked at me and looked worried. "Emma," He said, calmly. "would you like to tell your mom what happened?" I sighed as I looked at her. "I got into a fight with another girl." I said, quickly as mom looked at me questionably about who the other girl is. I didn't say anything. "Ellie Nash." Snake said, as mom's worried expression turned to shock. "Sean Cameron's ex girlfriend, who he dated right after he and Emma broke up due to him being friends with Jay Hogart." Snake confirmed, as I flinched at the reminder. Jay and Sean started being friends while I was too busy hanging out with him because Snake had cancer at the time and had started Chemo the week before. I couldn't spend time with Sean like we wanted to, so we broke up. I've never seen him so angry before until he slammed the locker that I was standing next to. I could tell that he was hurt more than anything. I sighed at the painful memory.

"Emma, why did you get into a fight with her?" I decided to tell her part of the truth. "She continued using my love for Sean against me, said that I didn't really love him at all and that he would get back together with her someday, so I punched her and asked her if she knew that he loves me and that's when she attacked me. We started fighting and Jay was the one who pulled me back while Manny pulled her away and that's when Snake saw us." She thought about what I said for a moment. "I believe you, Emma. Thank you for being honest."

"I suspended her for the rest of the week." Her eyes widened. "Snake, that wouldn't look good for you or her." He sighed and nodded. "I know, but she got into a fight with Ellie. What else was I supposed to do?" He asked, calm but worried at the same time. "Emma, go to your room. We will decide your punishment and then talk to you." I nodded and went to my room and sighed as I laid down on my bed as I felt tears run down my face, but I didn't care enough to stop them. I looked at the picture frame on my nightstand beside my bed. It was from my first date with Sean. I closed my eyes and let my tears fall before I sighed and faced away from the photo. I fell asleep, physically and emotionally tired.

I woke up and noticed that the sun had gone down, so a few hours have passed. "Emma, can you come here real quick?" Mom asked, as I got out of bed and went upstairs. "Yes?" I asked, hesitantly. "Emma, we've decided to have a counselor help you." I was confused. "Not only that, but you have to start going back to your classes and stop skipping dinner every night." Snake added, as I looked at them. "Emma, your friends haven't been around, you've been getting into fights, skipping school and dinner." Mom said, as I looked down. "Don't you remember back to your anorexia days? None of us want you going back to that, especially us and Sean. What would he say or do if he was here?" I looked up when she mentioned his name.

I sighed, as I remembered how I was when I was starving myself, how bad it was when I went to the hospital and was diagnosed and how Manny was crying when she told me that if I didn't stop then I would die. I promised her and everyone else that I wouldn't let it happen again. "Fine. I'll stop what I've been doing." I said, knowing that it would keep everyone out of my business. Snake looked at me. "We've also decided that you can go back to school on Monday," He paused, "but please try not to get into anymore fights, especially with Ellie." I nodded and he continued looking at me. I'll get your homework from your teachers and bring it to you. No friends over for a week." I nodded again before I went back to my room.

I laid down on my bed and read a book. Soon my phone went off-I ignore the other messages that aren't from my friends-and I see that it's a text from Jay. **Emma, are you alright?** I texted back that I wouldn't be at school until next week. Jay was pretty bummed about it, but at the same time he understood why I got into a fight with Ellie.

The week went by pretty slowly for me. I did my homework and ate something at least once a day-which my parents weren't happy about due to the fact that I had an eating disorder awhile back-and I was bored out of my mind, so I wrote in my journal every day. I enjoyed it because it helped me keep my feelings under control-some what-but I did keep it hidden from sight and it had a key to it, so I hid it in a secret compartment of my makeup box. Jay came by a couple of times-through my window, so he wouldn't be seen since I was still in trouble-and now we don't really fight at all anymore.

It was now Monday morning and I couldn't be more happy. "Hey, Greenpeace." Jay said, as I got in his car and he continued. "Just to warn you: everyone was talking about your suspension all week and they were also wondering if you and I were now dating." I laughed. "I can only imagine what they are saying. Probably something like, 'The good girl of the school finally did something bad. Oh, my god. Someone call Sean.' or maybe they would say, 'Are you kidding me? Is Emma Nelson and Jay Hogart secretly dating?' I wouldn't be surprised if that is some of the comments about this whole situation." Jay and I laughed as he parked the car in the parking lot. Everyone was staring at us. "Hey, I have an idea. How about we pretend to date just to see their reactions?" I nodded in agreement. "Let's do it. I can't wait to see Alex's face when she sees us." I whispered to him when we started walking into Degrassi, holding hands.

Everyone was speechless, with their eyes widened and showing complete shock. No one could even say a word. Then everyone started commenting.

 _"Oh, my God. Sean is going to be pissed as hell when he comes back."_

 _"When did this happen?"_

 _"Emma Nelson-the good girl-dating Jay Hogart-the leader of the Candy Bandits?"_

 _"What the hell?"_

I smiled at Jay as I made my way to my locker. This is going to be a long day.


	10. Chapter 10

I had so much fun writing this chapter. If you have any ideas to add, then please consider telling me in the comments or in a private message. **I wou** **ld like to thank AllieB0524 for reviewing my story. Thank you so much for reviewing my story and I hope you keep reading to see what happens next.** **I'm so happy you are loving this because there are a lot more chapters to come. This is a SEMMA fanfic, but that doesn't mean that I can't play around with other couples-Jay and Emma, or Sellie for example-and I'm honestly having fun playing around with the idea of Jay and Emma.** Btw, if you haven't noticed Jay isn't going to be exactly like he was in the show, but everyone is going to be out of character at some point during the story, so forgive me if Emma and Jay aren't at each other's throats 24/7 or if Emma isn't a "Golden Girl" all the time. People aren't perfect **.**

 **I hope you like this chapter. Let me know what you think of it and tell me your thoughts about what could happen next. I would love to hear them, if you want to tell me what you think.**

 **Emma's POV:  
** I smiled as Jay and I walked into school, holding hands. I looked at everyone as they continued whispering. This plan was working perfectly. "Emma Nelson, now dating Jay Hogart. Has Hell frozen over?" Manny said, walking up to us. I still couldn't believe it was working. I walked to class and noticed that everyone was convinced the rumors were true. Well, almost everyone. Alex looked like she didn't believe me, but at the same time, looked like she was ready for a fight. "Emma," I heard someone say to me as I walked out the door after class ended. I turned around to see JT. "Everyone is talking about you and Jay. Is it true?" I didn't know if I should tell him or not, but I quickly decided to tell him the truth. I whispered, "No, but don't let everyone else know that. Jay and I just wanted to see the look on everyone's faces." He nodded and smiled. Jay stood by the wall and smiled at me. I walked up to him and smiled back.

By lunch time, everyone was still talking about it. I was worried that it would somehow make it's way to Sean, but if Sean found, 1. He probably wouldn't believe it because he knows Jay and I better than that-the girl code about dating your best friend's ex is the same thing for guys. Jay and I would **NEVER** do that to Sean. I love him too much to hurt him in the worst possible way-besides, if he confronted me-or both of us-about it then I would tell him the truth. If he finds out, then I'll deal with it when the time comes, but until then I don't think I have anything to worry about. No one at Degrassi has visited Sean in jail, besides me. Why would I tell him something that isn't going to happen? It would just worry him, which is the last thing he needs right now.

 **Did you forget about the Ravine, Emma? You've been keeping a lot of secrets from Sean; the Ravine hook up with Jay when he was in Wasaga, the fake romance between you and Jay, not to mention you drinking a beer recently in the same area you and Jay hooked up at.**

Soon the bell rang for class. Unfortunately, Alex stopped me. "Hey, cause girl!" She yelled, as I glared at her. "What the hell are you thinking?" She said, as she got in my face. The two of us were now standing very close together as everyone stared, interested in what would happen next.

"I think you're a bitch who can't stand not being the center of attention." Everyone looked at us as they all said, "ooh. Burn... Show her who's a bitch, Emma!" I smirked as I looked back at her. "Do you remember that fight we had awhile back?" She glared at me. "I won that and I could win this one as well." I smirked, as she shook her head. "You do remember that I punched Amy right?" I scoffed. "That was only because she wasn't expecting it." I crossed my arms before she shook her head and raised her hand to punch me. I grabbed her arm with my hand before she got slammed into the lockers. "You want to try that again, because I think you're just an insecure little girl who can't handle it when your boyfriend," I looked at her in fake shock. "Oops. **Ex** -boyfriend is friends with other girls. Unlike you, I trust the guy I'm dating."

"BURN!" Everyone was hollering and cheering. She got up and tried punching me, but I got out of the way quickly as she punched a locker instead. She screamed in pain, as I stared at her when she turned and glared at me. "Who's the little girl now?" I said, before I walked away. Everyone kept on hollering and cheering as I smirked at her and walked away.

"I'm still not convinced you two are dating." Someone said, as I saw a **PISSED OFF** Alex glare at me, still holding onto her injured hand. "Oh, really?" I asked, as I looked at everyone, waiting to see what would happen next.

I looked at Jay, right before we kissed. It was nothing like the one we had at the Ravine. This was much better. Passionate, caring, protective and full of emotion. At least we were pretending it was. I pulled away and blushed, then looked back at Alex. "You're such a bitch!" Everyone was shocked and just stood there speechless. I silently laughed to myself. She was **PISSED** as I smirked. She looked like she could kill me right then and there if she wanted to, but instead she walked away, fuming as the bell rang.

Throughout the rest of the day, everyone was STILL talking. " _Did you see that kiss between Golden Girl and Degrassi's bad boy in the foyer of the school?"_

 _"Sean is going to be LIVID when he finds out they are dating."_

 _"Do you think they will last?"_

The whispers got louder as the day went on. Soon, the last bell rang for the day. I went to my locker to get my books out, when a piece of paper fell out. I grabbed it off the ground and opened it. **Watch your back, Emma. I'm coming for you. You'll regret this, sooner or later...Trust me. Signed, your worst nightmare.** I re-read it for the third time, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jumped. "Whoa, Greenpeace. It's just me." I stared at the note and then quickly turned around to see Jay behind me. "You ready to go?" I nodded, still shaken about the threat. I quickly grabbed my books and binders and put them in my bag then slung it over my shoulder.

"Hey, are you ever going to visit Sean in jail?" I asked him as we walked to his Orange Honda Civic. He unlocked the car and held my door open for me. He went around the car and got in before he answered. "I would have done it sooner, but I've kind of been busy." He said, as he looked at me. "I know, but he is your best friend. he would be happy to see another familiar face other than me." I said, not wanting to talk about the note. Why would someone threaten me like that? Who is it? Alex, Ellie, or someone else? Maybe Chris? I don't think it could be Chris, but then again he did hate it when I began obsessing about Sean being in the Candy Bandits gang with Jay after I found out what they were doing. I shook my head. It couldn't be Chris, because I haven't been around him since. I couldn't get that note out of my mind. What the hell do they want with me? I didn't really feel like hanging out tonight. Maybe I should just stay away from Jay. Damn it! "Yeah. I'll visit him and I promise not to tell him anything about the Ravine, you drinking one little beer or that we are fake dating. He'd kick my ass if he knew about any of it, especially about the Ravine." I nodded and looked out the window. "Emma," I stared out the window, not wanting him to see me cry, feeling his eyes on mine occasionally. "are you okay? You've been kind of quiet." I nodded, as he sighed and pulled over on the side of the road, then turned off the car. I refused to look at him. "Emma, what is going on? You've been sort of quiet since we left the school and you got scared when you were at your locker."

"I don't want to talk about it right now." I said, still refusing to look at him. "Please look at me." I turned to him and saw his concerned eyes onto mine. "What happened?" He asked, as I sighed and stared straight ahead. "Did something scare you?" He still looked worried. "If something happened, I need to know. Sean would kill me in my sleep if I let anything happen to you when he's not around. I'm not asking you just because I want to prevent Sean kicking my ass, but I'm asking you as your friend and I care about you." I sighed and shook my head. "I'm fine, Jay. I'm just tired." I said, as he nodded, not really believing me. He didn't bring it up again and the car ride was silent as he drove me to my house.

 **A/N: Ther** **e are a ton of ideas running through my head about how the story will end-and maybe a possible sequel if you all would like that-and what will happen between now and then. I don't know how long this story is going to be, but there will be MORE drama coming. I hope you all will be able to handle it. ;)** I have some parts of the story planned-Emma drinking beer in a previous chapter and her getting closer to Jay-but some of it isn't. I just start typing and whatever happens is what Emma and her friends go through. I didn't plan for Emma and Jay to "date" just for the hell of it; it just happened. **Also, not everything will be explained in this story-hence the possible sequel I'm already planning-but I will do my best.** If you guys want a sequel-whether it would be a separate story or adding more chapters to this one-then please let me know. Let me know in the comments. I hope you liked this chapter.


	11. Chapter 11

**As you all know, Jay never got expelled from Degrassi-so no one knows about the prank they pulled on Rick with Alex's help-and no one knows that Emma and Jay hooked up at the Ravine or that Emma has Gonorrhea.**

Just a little reminder.

 **Emma's POV:  
** I was still angry when I walked into the house after Jay dropped me off. I didn't want to keep secrets from him-I knew he was trying to help since Sean would kick his ass if he let anything happen to me when Sean is in jail-but at the same time, I didn't want Jay finding out because I knew he would be overprotective and that is the last thing I need right now. i wouldn't be able to handle Jay doing that all the time and besides, I bet it was someone just trying to scare me. People at Degrassi know not to mess with me if Sean-or Jay-is around.

I sighed as I walked in the house. "Hey, Emma." Mom said as she was standing in the kitchen, making dinner for tonight. Snake was holding Jack while he was sitting at the table. "How was school?" I shook my head, not wanting to mention any of it: the note, Jay or any of it. "I've noticed that you've been dating Jay Hogart." Snake said as mom looked at me. "Isn't that Sean's best friend?" I nodded, as mom looked at me, her eyes widened. "You've been dating Jay Hogart?" I nodded, even though Jay and I were faking it just for the hell of it.

"Honey, you do know that when Sean finds out-and he will considering that nothing is kept a secret for very long at Degrassi-he will be angry, jealous and hurt. You know how he is when he's like that." I nodded.

"Mom, It's fine. Don't worry. I'll deal with it." She nodded, hesitantly. "At least you have someone there just in case anyone gives you trouble." She said before Snake replied. "Which is ironic because Jay is trouble." I shook my head. "It's fine. Jay is the one who has been trying to keep me out of trouble." Mom raised her eyebrow. "Actually, Jayson was the one who was holding Emma back during her fight with Ellie." Snake replied, looking at me as I nodded. "He isn't that bad, mom." She still looked skeptical. "I don't know." She said, slowly.

"Mom, I'll be able to legally drink in Quebec soon." She sighed, as I crossed my arms. "Just please give him a chance." I said, as she nodded. I went up to my room and laid down on my bed. I knew that she was worried, but Jay isn't that bad. She has nothing to worry about. I know that Sean won't like the idea of Jay and I, but it's not like I'm actually dating him. He is different and I don't know why.

I guess seeing him upset when I tried flirting with him in his car after Alex broke up with him last year was when I found out he was different. I've never seen that look on his face or him sounding so sad before. He almost sounded heartbroken, which makes sense because I can tell that he really cared about Alex and when he told me that he wanted me to leave, I felt upset because he was the one who took my mind off of the shooting and Sean's departure to Wasaga. I didn't know what to do after that because Jay was there for me-in a very strange way-when I needed a distraction.

There was a knock at the door and soon Manny came in. "Emma, I'm worried about you. What is going on? Why won't you talk to us and why are you hanging out with Jay Hogart? Out of all the people at Degrassi, it had to be Sean's best friend?" I glared at her. "Emma, weren't you the one who got mad at Sean for hanging out with him and the rest of his gang?" She continued, and stepped closer to my bed and crossed her arms. "How do you think Sean will feel when he's finds out that you're doing the same thing he was?" I scoffed "This is different." I said to her, still not looking away from the ceiling.

"How is it differenf?" She asked, as I saw her concerned eyes when I finally looked at her. "Because Sean and I aren't dating and besides I'm not the one who's actually in the gang. I'm just friends with Jay. That's it." She scoffed. "That's it? How is Sean going to react knowing that you're dating his best friend when he's in jail?" I glared at her as she continued. "Not to mention that you two hooked up last year?" I looked down at the ground. "He will be furious. I just hope he forgives you."

I sighed as she sat down on the bed. "Emma, I'm just worried about you. We all are worried. Toby, Liberty, J.T., and Jay are. Hell even Ellie is worried." She said as my phone rang. "Speaking of the red head. I ignored it. I glared at her and after a few moments, Manny spoke. "Emma, please talk to someone." I got up and continued looking at her before I grabbed my coat and phone. "Where are you going?" She asked, before I looked at her. She stood in front of me and I glared at her. "Away from everyone and everything."

"Emma, stop. Why are you doing this?" She asked as I walked past her. She grabbed my arm and I turned to face her. "Leave me alone and don't talk to me." I said as I pulled out of her grasp and walked to the window and left the house.

I started crying as I walked to the Ravine. I sat down on the table while my feet was on the seat thinking about anything and everything. I broke down in tears right then and there, pulling out the note and re-read it before I started ahead of me off into the distance. Luckily no one was there, so I could finally be alone. No Manny and No Jay. I didn't have a problem with him, but I just didn't want to answer any questions about why I was barely talking to him in the car or why I was so scared earlier at my locker.

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed, tears still running down my face. I was angry. I was furious with everyone and everything. I was pissed at Sean because he left for Wasaga. I was angry at Ellie because she-shockingly-didnt want to get back together with Sean when I told her to get back together with him. I was pissed off at Jay because he gave me Gonorrhea. I was more angry with him for a different reason, but I just can't figure out why.

I was angry at Rick for what he did but I was mainly angry at myself for being nice to Rick which led to me almost getting shot, Sean getting injured and him leaving Toronto for Wasaga. I sighed again as I looked down at the cooler. I opened it, grabbed a can and started drinking it.

I don't know how much time passed, but I didn't care. I just stared off into the distance for God knows how long before I noticed someone walking up to me, then I passed out.


	12. Chapter 12

**Jay's POV:  
** I knew that something was going on with Emma and if anything happened to her, Sean would kill me since he's in jail. I know that Greenpeace is hiding something from everyone and wants to be left alone, but like I said before Sean would kill me if I let anything happen to her. I notice that she hasn't talked to Manny, JT, Liberty or Toby like she used to. I would have to ask her about that, but right now I have to find her and make sure she's okay. I didn't understand why I cared so much for the first time since we met-with the exception of making sure Rick didn't hurt her after she made him trip, resulting in his coffee getting spilt all over his clothes- because all we ever did was argue if we saw each other, but I knew that Emma needs someone to help her. I guess it had to be me, because I sure as hell don't want Sean kicking my ass. Seriously, you don't want to piss him off; The first time we met, the guy busted my lip open because Radditch was blaming him about the vending machine getting stolen. You must have a death wish or something if you do make Sean angry.

I knew where I would find her; the Ravine where she and I hooked up last year. Not exactly my best moment and I'm not proud of it. It would give Cameron another reason to kill me, not to mention the fact that his ex and I are pretending to be a couple or that I gave her Gonorrhea during said hookup which led to Alex breaking up with me. I never thought Emma could fight like she did against the red head Sean used to date and claimed he loved-if he loved her then why didn't he get back together with her instead of coming back for Emma-or Alex, but she beat both of them in a fight. I was seriously impressed. I was surprised when Emma kissed the guy who portrayed Dracula in the play, right after I kissed Alex right in front of her. I wonder if she was trying to make me jealous. Part of me believes it because she was pretty confident when she was flirting with me in the car-before I told her to leave after I found out that Alex was sick and that she wasn't talking to me because of it-but the other part doesn't believe it because I'm almost 100% sure that she was still in love with Cameron at the time even though he was in Wasaga at the time due to the shooting.

Spinner and I felt bad about blaming the paint and feathers joke on Jimmy which led Rick to shoot him, leaving him in a wheelchair. Luckily, no one knows about it, otherwise we would both be in trouble and Emma would be pissed if she found out because she almost got shot, Cameron got his arm injured and he killed Rick in self defend to protect Emma and everyone else. The whole school hated him after he hurt Terri in a blind rage-which is why Spinner and I had the paint and features fall on him during the Whack Your Brain competition-and Emma did too, until she realized that bullying wouldn't solve anything and defended the guy, much to everyone's shock. I knew that she was a feminist and didn't believe in violence, but defending the guy in front of everyone like that really shocked me.

I went to the Ravine and found her, not believing what the hell was right in front of me.

Emma "Greenpeace/Cause Girl" Nelson was **DRINKING BEER** without anyone else around.

She must have had more than one because she passed out the moment I got to her. I was right; 3 cans were on the picnic table. I cleaned up and sighed before I carried her to my car. I knew she wouldn't want to go home, so I took her to my house. I lived alone, so no one would ask questions. Sean will kill me if he knew about any of this, so I'm definitely keeping my mouth shut just for the sake of not getting in a fight with Sean again. He's kind of scary when he's pissed, especially when it involves Emma's happiness and safety.

I laid her down on the couch and covered her up with a blanket I found in the hallway closet, then I put a pillow under her head to make sure the arm rest doesn't cut into her skin when she wakes up. I took a few seconds to look at her. Her hair was framed around her face, her eyes were closed, her face looked peaceful and her lips were slightly parted. **Whoa, why was I looking at/thinking about her lips?** She looked comfortable to me, so I let her lay there for the night, knowing that she wouldn't want to face her parents yet. I grabbed her phone and sent a quick message to her mom, letting her know that she was safe and that she would be home in the morning. I sent the phone down on the coffee table and plugged it in for the night.

It was late and I was tired, so I went to my room and quickly got into bed, trying not to let **her** get in my head and take over, but it didn't work. I couldn't sleep at the moment, knowing that my best friend's ex was sleeping on my couch after I found her drunk at the Ravine. Yeah, I'd be dead in a millisecond if he knew about that or any of it really. I sighed as I let my mind wander to the girl in my living room.

* * *

I woke up in the morning and went to the kitchen. I walked by the couch to see Emma sleeping on it and I remembered why she was here in the first place. I found her drunk last night at the Ravine and brought her here. I decided to make breakfast since I knew she would be hungover. I grabbed the eggs, biscuits and the bacon and quickly got the other stuff I needed without making too much noise, so I didn't wake up the blond in the living room. Once I got everything I needed, I started cooking. I was so distracted that I didn't realize Emma was walking into the kitchen. "Hey." She turned to look at me as I kept my eyes on the stove. "Good morning, Greenoeace." She looked confused. "What happened, Jay?" She said with a raised eyebrow.

"Long story short: You were drunk and I knew you wouldn't want to go home to Simpson and your mom like that considering that he's your stepdad and works at Degrassi, so I brought you here and sent a text to your mom-pretending it came from you of course-saying that you would be home later today and that you stayed at a friends house because you needed a break from everything going on right now." She didn't say anything, so I continued. "Before you ask, nothing happened because you were on the couch and Sean would kill us both-mainly me more than you-if he knew about this." I said the last part half joking, half serious. She looked shocked. "Thanks, Jay. Like I said before: you're not as bad as I thought when we first met." I smirked and she looked at the ground. "I charged your phone last night. It should have a full battery by now." She smiled, before I got lost in her eyes.

We stared at each other for a moment before I remembered that I had food on the stove. I broke eye contact first and quickly went back to the stove. As I was finishing up, I asked her, "So what happened yesterday? You barely said anything in the car and you jumped when you heard me by your locker. You can trust me you know?" I said, as she sighed and looked at the table. I looked at her sitting down at the table and she didn't say anything. "It doesn't matter, Jay. I know I can trust you, but..." She trailed off and didn't say anything for a few moments. I decided to forget about the question when the oven went off. I took the biscuits out and quickly put them on a plate. I walked over to the fridge and grabbed some jelly and milk. I put the jelly inside the biscuits and poured the milk into two glasses, then put the milk and jelly back into the fridge. Emma yawned and I noticed that it was still dark outside.

About an hour later, I was parked outside of Emma's house and waited for her to get in the car because we still had school today. I noticed that she wore her white off the shoulder shirt and white shorts. Her hair was straight and she wore a minimal amount of makeup. She finally got in and put on her seatbelt. "Are you okay?" She looked at me. "I'm fine. Snake and mom were asking me where I was last night. I told them the truth, but Snake wasn't too happy; mom was a bit more understanding. I think he understands why I wasn't home, but he's still kind of concerned about us due to your reputation at school. Mom was happy that _I_ told her where I was last night, so she wasn't as worried." She said, as I nodded and drove to Degrassi. "At least, I'm not in trouble with them." She smiled and looked at me.


	13. Chapter 13

**Sean's POV:  
** I sighed as I looked at the picture of Emma in my notebook. I missed her, but I deserved being here. Even though I didn't like being away from Emma too long, it was partly my fault because I was the one who raced Peter to win her back. I smiled as I remembered the first time we met in MI class. I was so nervous to ask her out, but luckily she said accepted. I felt bad when I accidentally pushed her to the ground. I've never felt so scared in my life until Rick pointed that gun at Emma. I didn't want to lose her because she is my first love, so I got between her and the gun that Rick held. I love her more than anything, hell even more than I loved Ellie.

I didn't want to leave and go back to Wasaga, but I accidentally killed Rick and couldn't handle the media calling me a hero. I know that I saved everyone's life, but I just wanted to stay on the DL. That's why I went back to Wasaga, so I could get away from all of it. I didn't want to leave, but I felt like I needed some distance between myself and the shooting. I hated leaving Emma behind and breaking Ellie's heart, but I was traumatized by the shooting. I could have gotten killed instead of Rick and he probably would have, killed Emma if I didn't stop him.

I just hoped that she was keeping herself busy and that someone was keeping an eye on her, making sure she didn't fall apart when I was stuck in here not being able to help her if she needed it. I feel kind of guilty because someone else would be keeping an eye on her and making sure she doesn't break down or anything. I heard footsteps in front of my cell, but I didn't look up. "You have a visitor." He said, as I sighed and didn't look up from Emma's picture that she gave me. "Still thinking about Cause Girl I see, Cameron." I looked up and saw Jay, standing in front of me. "What are you doing here?" I asked, happy to see another familiar face. "Greenpeace told me I should visit, considering the fact that I am your best friend." He smirked, as I noticed something flash in his eyes before it was gone.

"How is she?" I asked, curious. "Don't worry, Cam. I'm keeping an eye on her for you. She's been busy with school and trying to keep herself from worrying about you in here." I nodded, as he crossed his arms. "At least she has someone to watch her while I'm stuck in here." I put my hand on his shoulder. "Do **NOT** let anything bad happen to her, or I will kick your ass." I said, getting angry at the idea of it. He nodded, "I mean it, Jay. If anything happens to her, I will be pissed." I said as he put his hands up in surrender. "You have nothing to worry about, dude. She is safe with me around." I dropped my hand. "That's all I can ask until I can get out of here. He nodded before he pulled his phone out.

"I'm sorry to cut this so short, but I better head back. My lunch hour is almost up and I have to make sure Emma is doing alright." I nodded, happy that my best friend is keeping an eye on the first girl I fell in love with. Jay left and I sighed, staring at the picture again. When I get out of here, I will get her back.

 **Emma's POV:  
** I spent my lunch hour outside of the school by the tree. Instead of eating, I was still thinking about that note. I have to tell Jay about it sooner or later. I sighed as I let my thoughts wander. I still haven't figured out who sent it, but I wasn't as worried like I was before because I know that Jay would never let anything happen to me. I know that he would protect me, while Sean's in jail. I wondered when he was going to get out because-even though I feel guilty about keeping things from him-I still miss him.

The bell rang for class and I didn't really want to go, but I knew that I had to so everyone would stop bothering me and asking me what was wrong or if I was okay. I'm so tired of people not minding their own business. I'm the one who has to deal with everything because I don't have any friends who really understand. I know that I can talk to Jay if I need to, but I feel like I can't for several reasons; we weren't really friends around the time of the shooting-despite him keeping me away from Rick at the Dot-he's not the first person I would talk to and if he knew everything I secretly feel, then that would just make our friendship stronger and maybe into something more. I can't let our friendship get stronger then it already is.

I don't have feelings for him and I'm sure he feels the same way about me. We are just friends-even thought the whole school believes otherwise-and I would like to keep it that way. I sighed as I saw his car park in front of the school and then put the picture away in my back. I started to finish up the last part of my English assignment as he walked up to me. "Hey, I saw Sean just now." I nodded, not even looking at him. I sighed as I got up, grabbed my stuff and walked away because I didn't want to be late to class and get another, "You need to start going back to class" lecture. I didn't want to be mean to Jay, but I just didn't feel like talking anymore. I didn't say anything the rest of the day, unless I was spoken to and even then I was zoned out and not paying attention to what people were trying to tell me. I started getting better at going to class for a week and after that, everything fell apart.

The next few days past by slowly, but there was a lot of drama; Jay and I still saw each other at school and he still gave me a ride to and from school, but I didn't even try to start a conversation-nor did I want to-and as a result I started distancing myself from him a lot more. I went to the Ravine when he wasnt there-or when anyone wasn't there at all, really-and started drinking a lot more. My drinking habit got worse as time went by and I was barely around my friends anymore. I spent more time in my room, crying and I couldn't stop no matter what I tried. I didn't smile as much as I use to and I fell back into my anorexia days again, but I didn't care.

One day at school, Jay walked up to me at my locker and he didn't look happy at all. In fact, I don't thing I've ever seen him this angry before. Everyone was standing around us. "We need to talk." He said as he crossed his arms. I glared at him, knowing what this was about. I never told him that I was back into my anorexia days or that I started to drink more than ever and I didn't want him to know because I knew that Sean would be furious with me for it if Jay found out and told him. I shook my head and slammed my locker door shut. He didn't even flinch. I walked away but didn't get very far; he grabbed my arm. I turned around slightly to look into his eyes. I pulled away from him and walked out the door; Jay followed. The people outside stopped to look at us.

"Emma, I know you heard me." I ignored him and continued walking towards my car. "Emma!" He said as he grabbed my arm again. I turned around to glare at him. To be honest, I didn't feel anything anymore. I couldn't feel anything, but numbness. "Leave me alone, Jay." I said, but he didn't let go.

I pushed him over the edge. "You're acting the same way Rick was when he was with Terri, now let me go!" He looked at me shock, but let go. In a second, his shock turned to anger and it was worse then what it was a few minutes ago. Everyone looked shocked at my Rick comment. I turned around and continued walking to my car.

 _"Did she just compare Jay Hogart to that psycho?"_

 _"I can't believe she would say something like that to him."_

 _"The old Emma would never say that to anyone, let alone one of the bad boys at Degrassi."_

I had to get the hell out of there and away from him. I couldn't handle it anymore. I felt like I was going to break down right then and there, but I couldn't. I will **NEVER** let Jay Hogart see me cry. I quickly got in my car and sped off out of the parking lot and down the road.

* * *

 **Jay's POV:**  
I couldn't believe she said that to me. I was angry, but felt more hurt than anything. I'm **NOTHING** like that psycho. I got in my car and ignored everyone staring at me in shock about what just happened. I couldn't believe it just happened, but I decided to drive to the Dot, while I was calling Manny and waited for her to answer. "Jay, is everything alright?" I told her to meet me at the Dot with Ellie, JT, Toby and Liberty in 5 minutes. "Ok. I'll get the others." She said and hung up.

5 minutes later, I was sitting at the Dot and Manny came in first followed by the rest of Emma's friends. "What's going on?" Manny asked as everyone sat down. I never told them the details, but I decided that now would be the best option. "All of this information stays between us. Please don't tell anyone who goes to Degrassi because we don't want more drama at the school." Everyone nodded in agreement as I continued. "I know you all don't exactly like Emma and I together-and do **NOT** tell Sean about that. Emma said she would tell him everything when he gets back-but she isn't the same anymore. She hasn't been hanging out with any of you in awhile, she hasn't been eating, talking to anyone that much and she made a really unexpected comment to me earlier." Everyone looked at me, questionably. "I grabbed her arm, so she would talk to me-I didn't hurt her or anything-but she did say something surprising." I said and everyone looked at each other worried. "What do we do?" Ellie asked, as I shrugged.

"We can't tell Sean because you all know how he is when he's pissed, especially when it's about Emma." I said, as everyone nodded. Ellie nodded, sadly at the mention of how deeply Sean cares and loves his first girlfriend. I gave her a small smile-letting her know that Sean cares about her as well-and she gave me one back. "I don't know what to do. She started acting weird a few days ago. I drove her home after school and she didn't really talk to me at all and she got scared when I went up to her when she was at her locker a few moments before that. Usually we would argue when we were around each other, but today was an actual fight and she was so upset, she said that I was acting like that Rick." Everyone looked shocked. "That doesn't sound like Emma at all. I knew she had anorexia because I was there when Peter had to call the police after she started having a panic attack due to not eating-a few moments before, she was screaming at me about how I betrayed her for telling Snake and her mom about her eating disorder and that I was supposed to be her best friend while she was throwing my stuff around the room-but I never knew she went back to those dark days. We had an intervention which led to her panic attack. She went to the hospital and got diagnosed. I told her that if she didn't stop doing what she was doing, then she was going to end up dead." Manny said, before I spoke.

"I know none of us would want to tell Sean the bad news if it happened, let alone see her continue like this and not do anything to stop her." I said, as I looked at everyone, who nodded in agreement. "So what should we do?" JT asked. "I don't know yet, but we have to think of something. If Sean finds out that I let something bad happen to her, he will kill me." I said, as Manny looked at me for a few moments, then shook her head. "Sean would kill all of us if we let Emma continue like this." She said, as Ellie looked at us. "How are we going to stop her without him here? He would be able to talk some sense into her, but he would be livid if he knew, so we obviously can't tell him yet. He already has enough problems to deal with." I looked at any of them for ideas.

"Anyone who suggests telling Sean, raise your hands." No one did and they slowly took a few steps back with their hands up. "Not a chance. You know what he's like." JT said, and shuttered at the image he was thinking of. "Ok, then telling Sean is out of the question. Anyone else got any ideas?" I asked, as everyone shook their heads.

I was so confused. What happened to the sweet, caring, loyal Emma I knew before this? The Environmentalist who wanted to save the dolphins? The Emma who wanted to make a difference for everyone? The one who would never turn her back on her friends, family, Sean or myself? Damn! I wish I had that Emma back and I wish I never treated her like shit when we first met. Fuck! How could she have changed so much in a short amount of time. I have to get the real Emma back before Sean finds out, or else we are all going to be screwed.


	14. Chapter 14

**Jay's POV:  
** Everyone looked at me, while I sat there thinking. "We can't confront her yet or she may feel like it's a trap and do something worse than what she's been doing. If she doesn't stop self destructing by the end of the week, then we take action. There is strength in numbers. We are better together then we are apart, so if we are all together then we may be able to talk to her. Hell, I may **HAVE** to call Sean and tell him the truth if she gets too out of control." I said as everyone nodded in agreement, but worried about Sean's reaction. I called Emma, but she didn't answer her phone.

"Well, I have to go home. We will help keep an eye on her. We are friends with both of them and we know how much he loves her." JT said, as I nodded. The others left until it was just Manny and I. "You like her don't you?" I narrowed my eyes at her. "The whole school already knows you two are dating." I shook my head. "To be honest, we just wanted to see everyone's reactions." She looked at me and said, "You didn't answer the question and I won't tell anyone." I looked at her. "Jay, come on. I was right about Emma and Sean the moment I saw the together for the first time. I know you like her." I raised an eyebrow. "Then why did you ask?" She shrugged before she asked me to answer the question. "Alright, fine. I've liked her since I saw her, but don't tell anyone. Alex and Sean would kill me if they knew." She smirked and looked at me. "Emma needs our help right now and I don't think a relationship is going to help her at the moment." She looked at me as if I knew something and wasn't telling her. "What exactly has she been doing besides what you've told me?" I looked away before I sighed and looked back at her.

"I caught her drinking at the ravine before she passed out." She looked shocked. "How many?" I didn't want to tell her, but she is Emma's best friend. "Three." I told her. "Why aren't we doing anything about this, Jay? We have to do something now." She said, as she was about to get up. "Wait, we can't confront her yet. If she knew that all of us are going to try and intervene then she will feel like she's being backed into a corner and won't talk to us." I explained as she nodded. She looked at me for a few moments. "You love her, don't you?" I shook my head. "No. I don't, but I do care about her." I said as she smiled.

 **Emma's POV:  
** I was pissed as hell. Why won't people leave me alone? Jay is really starting to piss me off more and more each damn day I see him. I sighed as I drove to the Ravine again. I felt like I had no control over my feelings, thoughts and behavior anymore. I parked my car and got out. I brought my back pack with me and put it down on the table. I sighed as I sat down on top of the table and ran my fingers through my hair. I can't remember the last time I had anything to eat, but I didn't care. I took my diary out of my bag then grabbed a pen and started writing.

 _I don't know what's happening anymore. I can't sleep or be around my friends anymore. I'm pissed off at everyone right now: Rick for the shooting and believe that I liked him when I didn't because I was still in love with Sean at the time. I'm pissed off at Jay because he was the one who invited me to the Ravine last year, but there was a bigger reason that made me angry with him. I just couldn't figure it out yet. I'm pissed off at Ellie who wouldn't get back together with Sean when I asked her to. I'm mostly pissed off at myself for leading Rick on which almost led to me getting shot or killed._

 _Sean needs to be with her because I know that after awhile he will get tired of me and will give up on us. Hr will need her by his side more than ever. I know that he and I have a connection between us, but it's only because he's my first love and I'm his and because of the shooting. I love him. I really do, but I have to let him go. He doesn't need me around anymore. It's for the best. I hope she takes care of him and doesn't make the same mistakes I did._

I sighed and put my pen down as a familiar car parked next to mine. Jay got out and walked over towards me as I put my journal away in my bag. I noticed he had something in his hand.

"Hey, I have something for you." He handed me a bag and a bottle of soda. "Thanks." I said as he sat beside me. The bag was next to me along with the Dr. Pepper. His hand touched my shoulder as I looked in Jay's eyes. "I'm sorry about what I said earlier about comparing you to Rick. I was just in a bad mood and took it out on you." He smiled a little and nodded. "You're forgiven." He said as I leaned my head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me as I looked into the distance. There was silence, but it wasn't awkward or anything. As I looked off in the distance, I felt Jay turn to look at me. I looked at him and he leaned in as I did as well. We kissed It was soft, comforting and made me feel different. I had some thoughts running through my head and some of them confused me.

 ** _What did i do? What does this mean? Does it even mean anything?_**

Those thoughts confused me, but I pushed those thoughts aside and thought about something else.

 **I think I know what I have to do, but I need some time to think about it before I make a decision.**

I was so confused about how I felt about the kiss.

 **A/N: I know that you guys want more Sean and Emma scenes. It will be in the next chapter along with more drama.**

 **Next time: Emma visits Sean in jail, Jay is confused while Emma tries to decide what she's going to do. Manny tries to figure out what's going on with her best friend, while Emma and Jay also talk about the kiss.**


	15. Chapter 15

I AM SO HAPPY. I was on Instagram last night-the one I use for my stories-and MIKE LOBEL LIKED MY COMMENT ON HIS INSTAGRAM POST, REPLIED BACK TO IT, LIKED MY INSTAGRAM POST AND COMMENTED ON IT. I've had a MAJOR CRUSH ON HIM WHEN HE WAS ON DEGRASSI, BUT HE'S HOTTER NOW THEN HE WAS BACK THEN.

 **Emma's POV:  
** I was so confused because of the kiss Jay and I had last night. I decided to visit Sean, so I did when school ended. I still felt guilty, but I pushed it down and buried it as deep as I could. I hated it when I hurt him in the past and I promised myself that I would never do that again, but I did. I failed Sean and betrayed him a lot, but now I can't take any of it back. I hate myself because Jay and I hooked up, I led Rick on, I've hurt Sean so much in the past and because I've kept so many secrets from everyone. I've never felt like this before. Everyone thinks I'm perfect, but i'm not. I don't know how much longer I will be able to handle this.

I sighed as I walked into the building. Soon, I was let into his cell and looked into his eyes, which made me feel worse since they held so much love for me in them. "Emma, I'm so happy to see you." He said as he held me. I almost wanted to cry right then and there, but I couldn't because if I did then would ask me if I was okay, which would result in me lying to him and I can't lie to his face. I was never good at doing that, because he knows me better than anyone.

"Em, you alright." He said, looking into my eyes. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. "I'm fine. School has been stressing me out lately, but I can't really complain since..." I frowned and decided not to finish what I was thinking. "Since I'm in here?" I nodded and looked into his eyes as I felt the tears threatening to spill. Everything I've felt these past couple of weeks were finally being released and I don't know what would happen at Degrassi. For now, I just wanted to let my problems go and hold Sean as much as I could before he hates me forever. This is the last time I can see him. After this, I won't visit him anymore.

He held me as I cried in his arms. I wish I could keep my feelings hidden, but I can't do It anymore. I knew it was only a matter of time before I broke down, but I was so confused about what to do.

 **Sean's POV:  
** I was worried about Emma because I knew that she would never cry over school stressing her out, so it had to be something else that's bothering her. After a few moments, I pulled away from her a bit and looked at her. I wiped her tears and she smiled. "Em, is something bothering you?" I asked as she continued looking at me and shook her head. "I just miss you, a lot." She said, smiling. I held her again as she calmed down a little. "Emma, you don't need to worry about me." I said, as she muttered, "Not for much longer," under her breath." I was confused by that comment, but I continued. "I'll get out of here soon and we'll finally be together. Just like we always wanted. No more drama, no secrets-not that there ever was before-and complete happiness." I said, as she looked worried about something. "Um..I better go. I have homework I have to get done." She said, kind of suddenly. "Emma, are you sure you're alright? You just started crying into my arms, then comment something about not worrying about me for much longer and then you say that you have to get home. I know you better than anyone and I know that there is something you're not telling me. If you need to tell me something, then you can tell me when you are ready. I will always be here for you, no matter what." I told her as she nodded and hugged me back. "Is Jay helping you out?" She nodded and then raised an eyebrow in question. "I've had Jay watch over you for awhile. I hope he's not bothering you or anything." She shook her head.

"Jay has been helping me. Thank you." She said as she kissed me on my cheek. Soon, she left. I watched and stood there, worried and confused.

 **Emma's POV:  
** I had to get out of there before I lost control and told Sean everything. I couldn't do that. I really did miss him, so I wasn't technically lying when I told him that. I was angry at myself when I started crying though. After I talked to Jay, I decided to focus on myself. No Sean and no Jay anymore. I have to distance myself before something else happens. I sighed as I walked back to my car and drove off. I did have homework to do, but it wasn't a lot. I drove to the Ravine hesitated when I saw Jay there. Manny was there too along with Alex and Towerz, but I didn't recognize anyone else.

I was about to walk up to Jay when Manny came up to me. "Hey, Emma." She said and frowned when she stopped. "What's wrong?" I said that I would tell her later as I caught Jay's eye when he looked at me. He said something to Alex and then headed towards me. She was still pissed about the fight. **A/N: I don't know exactly when Alex realized she was a lesbian, but for right now she is still straight.**

Jay walked over to me as Manny left us to be alone. Part of me didn't want to, while the other part wanted to. "Jay, can we talk?" He nodded as we walked over to a quiet place where no one would interrupt. I sighed and looked at him. "About the recent kiss...I think it's better if we just forget about it." I said and looked at him after a few moments. He had that same expression on his face when I kissed Nate at school the day after I left the Ravine. **A/N: Secret part (2.)** "I'm sorry, but it's over." I said and walked away, not wanting to see the look on his face because-if it was anything like the expression he had when I tried flirting with him in the car and he replied, "You are one cold girl,"- I wouldn't be able to handle that.

Manny caught up to me and said, "What happened between you two?" I sighed, and told her that I broke up with him. "WHAT?!" She yelled as everyone looked at us. If Alex looked pissed before, she looked like she could kill me now, judging by the murderous look on her face. I ran as Manny yelled, "Emma, wait!" I got in my car and Manny got in. I could feel everyone's eyes on me, but the only one I cared about was the similar expression someone had when he said that I was one cold girl. I looked back at him and saw it was a lot worse than that. It was nothing like I've never seen him before.

Absolutely destroyed. Was It possible he actually had feeling for me? NO. Jay Hogart doesn't do committed relationships. The only thing he does is hook up with girls and give them a fucking social disease. DAMN IT! I Hit the steering wheel. "Emma, are you okay?" I looked at her slowly. "I'm just fine. I'll be even better when I stay the hell away from him." I said before I started the car. "Did you see Jay and Alex's expressions? I've never seen Alex wanting to kill you with a death glare that much before and Jay looked like someone just killed ripped his heart out." I laughed. "Well, at least something interesting will happen at school for awhile." I said, as Manny looked out the window. "What is it?" I asked as I felt her eyes on me. "Someone has feeling for you and I know who it is." I groaned. "If it's Peter than I will really have to make it clear that we broke up. I'm over him."

"Em, you may be over Peter, but you certainly aren't over Sean and I think you may have feelings for Jay." I scoffed and she grinned. "Jay? Please." I shook my head. "Emma, you like Jay," She grinned and then frowned when I didn't react. "and Sean won't be happy if he knew that." She said, as I looked at her. "I do not like him. I love Sean." Manny grinned. "Jay has feelings for you." I laughed and stopped when I noticed she wasn't. "He kind of told me." She said and I froze as Manny yelled, "Emma, the road!" I couldn't focus on anything after that except that Jay Hogart may like me back. Is it possible?

No. It isn't.

 **Jay's POV:  
** "Emma, wait." Her best friend ran after her. _I think it's better if we forget about it,_ kept running through my head and wouldn't stop. "Jay! Jay! Jayson!" Alex yelled in my face after Emma ran. She got in my face, but I looked behind her at the blond who belonged to my best friend since he had her first. Alex gave up as Emma drove away and out of sight. I can't believe what just happened. "Wow, Cause Girl finally came to her senses." Alex said, crossing her arms. "What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, getting pissed off. "I knew you liked her, but she's finally realized that she is better off without you-especially since your little fun at the Ravine with Amy-so it's about time." She said as I kept thinking about what Greenpeace said, before I thought about what her friend asked me at the Dot.

I realized that I didn't just like Emma Nelson, but it was something else.

To me, she was Greenpeace. CauseGirl. Environmentalist. My best friend's ex girlfriend who he loves more than anything. I couldn't stop thinking about her because she's very pretty, stubborn as hell, and loyal to her friends. I laughed to myself when I realized that she wasn't loyal to Sean anymore. She **NEVER** cheated on him or anything, but this is different.

 _FUCK! I AM SO CONFUSED!_

 **Manny's POV:  
** I don't know what is going on with Emma, but she needs to figure it out because I am getting worried. I know I surprised her when I said that Jay might have feelings for her, but I know that she is trying to keep Sean happy. He loves her and I know that she loves him back-hell they are each other's first love-but I don't think she realizes that she is hurting Jay by rejecting him like that. I knew that he likes her, but I also know that he's not going to admit it to her just yet because he doesn't want another rejection. I don't know if she's aware of what she's getting herself into: Jay and Sean are best friends and she is the latter's ex girlfriend, so if she actually dated Jay for real then everything will be so confusing for everyone.

Emma will always love Sean and he her, but I don't know if Sean's reaction will be a good thing or not if he knew that Jay and Emma have feelings for each other, let alone actually start dating. On one hand, his anger issues is a problem because when he's pissed he doesn't think straight. On the other hand, Emma's happiness and safety means everything to him and he knows that Jay is keeping her safe while he's stuck in jail and I'd like to think that if Emma chose Jay over Sean then he would accept it if she's happy with his best friend.

However, I also think that even if Emma and Jay start dating, then she will start missing him and then her feelings for both of them would be confusing her again. I hate seeing my best friend like this. Being in love with one guy, but fake dating and kissing his best friend who gave her Gonorrhea last year.

Let's not forget all the secrets that could come between Emma and Sean, who are Degrassi's number one power couple. If things were confusing enough now, then it's nothing compared to how complicated things would get in the upcoming months, let alone years...


	16. Chapter 16

**Emma's POV:  
** Manny and I walked into the house after I almost crashed my car. "I'm serious, Emma. You'll have to see Jay at school." I sat on the couch. She was spending the night, so we were hanging out, but I was focused on Jay and Sean. "I know that, but I already vowed that I would distance myself from Jay." I told her as she sat down across from me. "Emma, did you see the look on his face after you rejected him?" I nodded. "I've never seen him look that hurt before, since he told me that Alex wouldn't talk to him. I asked him if he was going to cry and he stared at me for a moment and said that I was one cold girl. The expression on his face as he told me that was nothing compared to tonight."

Manny looked sympathetic. "Emma, I'd hate to ask but I'm going to anyways, doesn't it kind of feel like you're leading him on a bit?" I looked down and didn't reply for a moment before I looked at her. "I shouldn't have kissed him-" Manny stood up and yelled. "You kissed him!" I nodded, "but I just got lost in the moment. He was the one who kissed me back." My eyes widened. "OMG! He likes me! What the hell am I going to do?" I asked, panicked. "Do you have feelings for Jay?" I looked down, thinking about it. I'm not sure if I was around him because I miss Sean and it feels like he never left, or if it's because I actually like him. "I don't know, but I talked to Sean earlier. He probably knows that something is bothering me." I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "He knows you better than anyone, other than me." I nodded. "Is it the Sean/Emma/Jay love triangle, or something else?" She asked, as I sighed. "It's everything in my life, but it doesn't matter now, because I won't have to deal with or think about it anymore after this." I'm still a little confused on what to do, but I knew that I had to make my decision soon.

"Emma, you have to choose between Jay or Sean." She stated, bluntly. "Jay did tell me that he doesn't like being messed with after I kissed Nate." Manny smirked, remembering Jay's shocked expression right after I did that. "It looks like that's what you're doing Emma." A knock at the door interrupted us. I got up and opened it. "Speak of the devil." I said, turning to Manny. She had that same expression right after I kissed Nate to get payback on Jay. "Damn it, and I thought that I was going to be able to avoid him for the rest of my life." I muttered under my breath.

"Emma, can I talk to you?" He asked as I let him inside. "I'll just leave you two alone for awhile." Manny said and got up off the couch to go downstairs to my room. I sat down on the couch and Jay continued standing. "What's up?" I asked, casually. "Are you trying to mess with me?" He asked in the same tone he used when we were in the library, right after I kissed Nate. I sighed, not wanting to hurt him more-if that was even possible-but at the same time, I was afraid of my own answer. Either way, it would end badly. Confirm it and risk him never talking to me again and Sean wondering what the hell was going on when he comes back or denying it and have our friendship blossom into something more and risk having Sean find out about everything. Either way, Sean could find out. UGH! I wanted to punch a damn wall. I was so confused about my feelings, plus the secrets I've had to keep from everyone-mainly Sean and jay-about my possible romantic feelings for my ex boyfriend's best friend, the way I can't stand lying to said ex boyfriend's face the secret hook up/3 beers I had at the Ravine and everything else were getting too much for me to handle.

"I just needed some space to figure everything out." I said, honestly. He sighed, and grabbed my shoulders. "Yes or no? You know I don't like being messed with." He said, as I smirked. "Now you know how the other girls feel when you hook up with them and then run." He looked shocked and dropped his hands off my shoulders. "I walked right into that." He said and chuckled. "You also deserved that comment." He nodded in agreement. "Yeah. I did, but I'm serious."

I laughed at the Witty comeback I just said. He raised an eyebrow. "Emma, I have to know. Please?" I laughed at him begging me to tell him. "What do you want me to say?" I asked him, honestly. "I want you to be honest with me." I thought about it for a few seconds. "No. I'm not messing with you." He looked stunned. Wow. I shocked him twice within a minute.

"Emma, does this mean...?" He trailed off, as I shook my head. "I need to think about it for awhile." He nodded and left. I went to my room as Manny turned to me. "What happned?" I told her that I had to think about my decision, before I fell asleep.

 _I wondered why I was in the hallway, when I spotted **him,** right in front of me. I stepped back a little, but realized that I was against the lockers. "Emma, how could you?" He asked as I tried running, but he grabbed my arm and forced me to look at him. "Answer me!" He yelled as I started crying. I felt something against my head, but was afraid to look. "You won't get away that easily." He said, as he pulled the trigger. "Emma, No!" Sean's voice shouted from down the hallway as I fell to the ground, quickly being covered in blood. I felt his arms around me, as Rick glared at both of us. "How nice. He's coming to save his little miss perfect." I closed my eyes. "EMMA! Do **NOT** leave me!" I muttered a quick, "I love you. Forever and Always," before I drifted off into a beautiful world. Sean started crying as Ellie ran to him. Rick turned the gun on himself and another shot was heard. He fell to the floor. _

I woke up with a gasp and tried to catch my breath. I got out of bed and silently got my car keys and went to the Ravine. I parked before getting out and grabbing my bag. I sat down on the table with tears running down my face. Why can't Rick just leave me alone?

I cried as I got something out of my bag and took out a beer from the cooler and decided if I should do it or not. I cried harder, when I opened it and started drinking. I couldn't stop, even though it tasted terrible. I felt someone near me, but couldn't see anyone. I didn't care anymore. I continued drinking and didn't stop until I had to catch my breath. I started crying so bad that I felt like I was suffocating. My lungs started burning and I felt like my chest was collapsing. I tried to breathe, but I couldn't concentrate. Eventually, I passed out.

 **Uh, oh. Emma is drinking again and she had a panic attack. Is someone watching her or is it just her imagination?**

Is there a deeper reason for Emma's actions lately? Will someone save her before it's too late? Will she get worse? Can it get any worse than this? What will Sean do when he finds out everything? What will happen when everyone finds out her darkest secrets? How far will Emma go to numb the pain? Will Sean ever be notified of his ex girlfriend's recent drama before it's too late? Only time will tell. Stay tuned...

 **Next time: Emma's behavior is worrying her friends a lot more as time goes on. Will someone try and talk to her-and will she listen-or will she distance herself from everyone?**


	17. Chapter 17

I've decided to change the last chapter a bit. I had originally had Emma and Jay start dating, but I'm thinking about editing that chapter, because Emma wouldn't give in that easily. She would fight it for awhile and probably think it through before she makes a decision, so I went back and edited it. I want to write this story the correct way, **WITHOUT** rushing anything, which is why I had to edit it. I felt like I was rushing the story a bit.

 **Thank you for reviewing. Kelly, I know that you have a small problem with Emma thinking she hurt Sean a lot in the past when they were younger-and that's okay. She was young and you do stupid stuff, but-sooner or later-Emma is going to realize that she didn't hurt Sean as much as she thinks. Remember this takes place 2 years after she shooting-in season 6 before the episode "Crazy Little Thing Called Love"-and Emma hasn't quite gotten over it.**

 **To be honest, If I was in her position-having a gun pointed at my head/almost getting shot, watching my first love fight the perpetrator to get the gun out of his hand to protect me, resulting in said first love getting shot and him accidentally killing the perpetrator in self defense-then it would be enough to mess anybody up, which is why she's drinking.**

 **I don't want Emma blaming herself for hurting Sean either, but there is a bigger/deeper reason why she's blaming herself for hurting Sean as much as she thinks she did. You know, Emma is stubborn and once she has her mind on a decision, she won't change it-unless fate forces her to.**

 **You can't fight fate no matter how much you try. Anyways, Emma won't be like this forever. It's just to create MAJOR Drama in future chapters that none of you will ever expect. You'll find out the deeper reason behind her actions in a future chapter.** Enjoy.

 **Emma's POV:  
** I covered my eyes at the sunlight coming through the blinds on the window. I yawned, tired and I didn't remember what happened last night or where I was. I was in a bedroom, but I've never been here before. I decided to look around a bit and grabbed my shoes so I could put them on. I noticed my cell phone on the nightstand and took it off my charger before I walked out of the room and tried finding my way around the house. It wasn't hard to find the living room at all. I walked to the kitchen and found the one person I didn't expect to see.

"What happened last night?" I asked, confused. "You had a panic attack last night and was drinking at the Ravine. I knew that you didn't want Jay to be pissed off at you, so I brought you here." I sighed, as I noticed all the missed calls and messages from Jay. "I guess I won't be going to school today." I muttered under my breath. "I called Simpson and told him that you didn't feel well, so you aren't going to school today." I smiled. "He knows your here, so you don't have to worry." I was happy that I didn't have to worry about it. "Thank you for helping me-trust me I'm grateful-but why did you? I mean after everything that's happened with our past history, I thought you would run to Jay and tell him because I know how much you care about him."

"I did it because I knew he wouldn't be happy if he knew what happened last night and I didn't want to cause you more stress." I nodded, since that did make sense. "That was the last thing you needed." I smiled again. "Thank you." I got a smile in return. "Don't mention it." I looked at the clock and saw that it was early afternoon. "I'm sure Simpson told Jay that you weren't feeling well." I nodded and didn't know what else to say. "Wanna stay and watch movies?" I nodded, as I walked to the couch and sat down. Soon, I smelled Popcorn and the movie was starting.

The movie was alright, but soon, I was asleep again. I woke up on the couch due to my phone ringing. Jay. "Emma, are you alright? I haven't seen you at all since school started a few hours ago." I smiled. "I'm fine. I promise. I wasn't feeling well and Simpson let me skip school today." He sighed. "Now I'm more worried than I was before." I frowned. "Jay, you don't have to worry about me. I can take care of myself." I said, knowing that Sean had him keep an eye on me.

 **Damn over protective ex!**

"Emma, Sean had me look after you until he can get out. He's just worried about you." It's like he could read my mind. "I don't mind doing it, especially if it means that I can avoid Sean kicking my ass." I laughed, knowing that I would have to stop them somehow if there was a fight. "Jay, I know that you both are worried about me, but I'm fine. Rick is dead, so neither of you have to worry about him coming after me with a gun ever again." I said, smiling. I've **never** told Sean this-and I'm **NEVER** going to-because I knew it would upset him, but I was tempted to tell Rick to go ahead and pull the damn trigger. I didn't care what would happen to me, but I held back from telling Rick what I was thinking because I knew that if anything happened to me, Sean would never forgive himself and he would go back to his bad boy days. It would be so much worse than making Tylor go deaf in one ear during a fight Sean had when he was in Wasaga before I met him.

"Emma, are you okay?" Jay asked as I tried to shake that thought out of my head. "I'm fine. Just thinking." I could see Jay's worried frown, turning into a smirk from the other end of the phone. "What are you thinking about?" Sean. "You." I said, smiling. "Hey, Em. I'll talk to you later okay? I got to get to the Garage." I said that I would talk to him later before he hung up.

"Are you sure? You zoned out for a few minutes." I heard from the other end of the couch. "I'm fine. My mind went back to the shooting." I got a worried expression in response. "I'm trying not to let it ruin my life, but it's difficult." I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. "I know that, but it will be okay. You're my friend and need someone to talk to." I nodded as my tears threatened to spill. "Emma, it will be okay." She hugged me. "I promise."

I was still surprised because I didn't expect this to happen-despite both of us hanging out with Jay at one point or another-but this? If you told me that I would be able to trust someone I've barely even talked to, then I would laugh and walk away. Now I know that I have some really good friends.

"Thanks, Alex. I'm sorry about fighting you before." She nodded, smiling. "Well, you make Jay happy. It was something I was never able to do when we were dating. If anyone can make him happy, then it's you Cause Girl." I smiled as we hugged.

"How bad was I drinking?" I asked, worried about the answer. "Bad enough. If Jay found out, he would probably tell Cameron." She looked worried. "You're lucky I found you instead of him." I nodded, and smiled. "You have to stop drinking. Please!" She said, as she grabbed my shoulders. "Do it for Jay and Sean." I ignored the comment. "So what's been going on with you lately?" She asked, as I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "I've been better." I told her, without telling her the full truth. "You can trust me. I may be Jay's friend, but that doesn't mean that I won't keep a secret if you need me too." I looked at her and shrugged my shoulder. "I don't really want to talk about it right now. It's kind of a long story." I said, as she nodded. "Well, if you need to talk to someone then you can always talk to me." I nodded and smiled, before I grabbed my stuff and left her house.

 **Alex's POV:  
** I couldn't believe that Little Miss Perfect was drinking, but I knew that if Jay found out he would be pissed, so I decided to bring her to my house. I picked her up and grabbed her book bag and a bag of food to the car. I put the two bags on my car, while I got my keys out of my pocket with my right hand. My left one was keeping her from falling to the ground. I knew she was passed out due to her drinking and having a panic attack, so I didn't want to wake her up and freak her out. I unlocked the car and got her inside, strapped her in and grabbed the two bags and put them inside the car next to her.

I sighed, as I drove to my apartment knowing that Simpson wouldn't like it if he knew about this. I knew that there was a major problem if Cause Girl was drinking. No one would ask questions because I live alone now. I unlocked the door and went back to my car to get her out. I took off her seatbelt and carried her to my apartment where she would sleep for the night. After I made her that she would be fine, I carried her bags inside the apartment, shut the door and making sure it was locked before I sighed and grabbed a bottle of water from the kitchen. Soon, I went to bed.

I woke up the next morning and decided not to go to school. I called Simpson and told him that Emma arrived at my door last night, saying that she wasn't feeling well and didn't feel like going back home since it was late at night, so she stayed here. "Thank you Alex." He said and hung up.

"What happened last night?" Emma asked, confused. "You had a panic attack last night and was drinking at the Ravine. I knew that you didn't want Jay to be pissed off at you, so I brought you here." She sighed, as she looked at her phone. "I guess I won't be going to school today." She muttered under her breath. "I called Simpson and told him that you didn't feel well, so you aren't going to school today." She smiled. "He knows your here, so you don't have to worry."

"Thank you for helping me-trust me I'm grateful-but why did you? I mean after everything that's happened with our past history, I thought you would run to Jay and tell him because I know how much you care about him." She asked, confused.

"I did it because I knew he wouldn't be happy if he knew what happened last night and I didn't want to cause you more stress. That was the last thing you needed." She smiled again.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it." She looked at the clock, worried. "I'm sure Simpson told Jay that you weren't feeling well." She nodded, but didn't say anything. "Wanna stay and watch movies?" I asked, but I could tell that she was a little hesitant. Soon, we had a movie going and I grabbed the popcorn. I noticed that she was zoned out. "Are you okay?" I asked, as she nodded, but I didn't look convinced.

"Are you sure? You zoned out for a few minutes." She looked at me. "I'm fine. My mind went back to the shooting." I looked at her worried, because I knew that she was lying. She told Jay that she was thinking about him, when she told me that she was thinking about the shooting. "I'm trying not to let it ruin my life, but it's difficult." She sighed and ran her hand through her hair. "I know that, but it will be okay. You're my friend and need someone to talk to." She nodded, with tears in her eyes, but didn't fall. "Emma, it will be okay." I hesitated, before I hugged her, knowing that she would probably need it right now. "I promise."

I could tell that she was surprised because we weren't fighting for the first time. I was, honestly, surprised myself. "Thanks, Alex. I'm sorry about fighting you before." She nodded, smiling. "Well, you make Jay happy. It was something I was never able to do when we were dating. If anyone can make him happy, then it's you Cause Girl." She smiled as we hugged.

"How bad was I drinking?" She asked, hesitantly. "Bad enough. If Jay found out, he would probably tell Cameron." She looked worried. "You're lucky I found you instead of him." She nodded, and smiled. "You have to stop drinking. Please!" I grabbed her shoulders. "Do it for Jay and Sean." She ignored the comment. "So what's been going on with you lately?" I asked, as she sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I've been better." She replied as I looked at her knowing there was more to it. "You can trust me. I may be Jay's friend, but that doesn't mean that I won't keep a secret if you need me too." She looked at me and shrugged her shoulder. "I don't really want to talk about it right now. It's kind of a long story." She said, as I nodded. "Well, if you need to talk to someone then you can always talk to me." She nodded and smiled, before grabbing her stuff and left my apartment.

I was worried because I know how much Cameron loves her. I have to help her somehow, but I don't know how when she won't talk to anyone.


	18. Chapter 18

**Emma's POV:  
** Over the next few weeks, my friendship with Jay has been stronger than ever, but I've never told him about my drinking problem, which has gotten worse. I've hid it from him for weeks, but I was still worried about what would happen if he found out. I haven't seen Sean since I cried in his arms when I was visiting him in jail because I promised myself that I was going to distance myself from everyone. The threats have gotten more frequent to, but I don't reply after I read them. Manny, JT, Toby, Liberty, and Ellie have tried to get me to talk, but I didn't want to talk to any of them-especially the red head girl-because I've mostly been hanging out with Alex and Jay, who still doesn't know about how the she helped me when I passed out at the Ravine.

I know that everyone is worried about me, but they don't have to be. This is the new me and I'm so much better. **(1)** Manny and everyone else have tried talking to me, but I wouldn't listen to them. I could tell that they didn't know how to help me, but they can't because there was nothing wrong with me at all. I could tell that even Alex-who is my new best friend-is worried, but there is nothing they can do. "Emma, we have to talk." Alex said, as she slammed my locker and looked at me.

"What is it, Alex?" I asked, as she looked behind me at Manny and JT who still had worried looks on their faces. They were standing a few feet away from me. "We are all worried about you, Em. Not just the three of us; it's also your other two friends and Jay. If you don't stop whatever it is you're doing, then we will figure out a solution to help." She said as my phone went off again for the billionth time today. I sighed as I read the message. **I'm coming after you and you won't know when or where, but soon. I'm watching you. Good luck on trying to find out who I am. Oh and by the way, you're ex boyfriend will pay the price. Oh, wait. He already is. Haha!**

I shook my head. This has to be Peter. He's been giving me a pissed of look ever since I broke up with him, but it's gotten worse since I've been hanging out with Jay. Alex took my phone from me and put it in her bag. "Listen, we all have to talk about this. Jay is more worried about you then he was before. You've been zoning out whenever one of us tries to talk to you about this." She looked at me expressionless, but worried at the same time. "I'm sorry, Alex. I'm just stressed out with everything; This is my senior year, exams are coming up along with prom, Sean is in jail and with everything that's been going on lately, I'm just tired of it." I explained, telling half of the truth. She sighed, before looking at me and crossing her arms. "Why didn't you tell us that? You had us worried for nothing. It's been awhile since the Ravine incident, but I thought that...you know." She said as I shook my head. I knew that she was worried about me drinking.

"I'm fine. Don't worry so much. That was a one time thing and it will never happen again." She looked at me and I kept my face from revealing the truth to anyone. "Fine, but all of us will have to take action if you do that again." I sighed and nodded, not wanting to know what action they were going to take. The bell rang and as usual Alex and I skipped classes. Simpson has given up on trying to give me the "concerned father figure lecture" for the time being. I think he wants me to learn how to deal with this myself.

Later that night, Alex and I were hanging out at her house watching movies when someone knocked on the door. "Who is that?" I said, grabbing my soda from the coffee table and taking a sip. "It's Jay." She said, as she opened the door and he walked in. "Hey. Wanna hangout with us?" I asked, as I sat back down on the couch after getting some chocolate chip cookies from the kitchen. He nodded and sat down next to me. Soon, my phone began ringing. Manny, but I ignored it. "Who was that?" Alex asked, as I looked at my phone confused. "Manny. I'm sure it's nothing." I said, as the phone rang again. "Manny, why are you calling me late at night?" I asked, confused. I couldn't here anything, but sobbing coming from the other end of the phone. "Emma, it's JT."

"What?" I asked, worried since JT was one of my friends, even though we haven't really been hanging out these past couple weeks. I've known him since we were little kids and he was one of my best friends, but now we've barely spoken at all. Manny kept on sobbing harder and couldn't speak for awhile. I was worried that something bad happened to him. Even though I started hanging out with Alex and Jay, doesn't mean that I don't still care about my old friends.

"He's been stabbed. We're at the hospital now." I hung up, dropped my phone and ran out the door to my car. Within seconds, I drove off from Alex's apartment and towards the hospital. It didn't take me very long to get there. I ran to the building and ran inside. Manny saw me. Her eyes were tearing up as she ran towards me and cried in my shoulder. I looked at Toby and Liberty, who were comforting each other. "Liberty, I'm so sorry." I said as the doors opened. Jay and Alex ran up to us. "What happened?" Jay asked as Manny tried talking. "Well," Alex asked, impatient as I glared at her. "JT was at a party and someone from Lakehurst took out a concealed knife and stabbed him with it." Toby said, looking at us. "Is he going to be okay?" I asked, as Liberty shrugged. Toby had one arm around her, trying not to cry as Liberty looked like she could start crying again at any second. "We don't know yet." Toby said as no one said anything before Toby spoke.

"He is her first love." Toby said, looking at Liberty. "I can't imagine how bad it would be for you if Sean died or him you." Toby said as the image of Sean getting killed by Rick flashed before my eyes. "Luckily we don't have to worry about that because Rick is dead." Jay said angrily, knowing that Toby was talking about the shooting. He put his arms around me, as everyone looked at us in question. I shrugged and smiled at Jay as he looked back at me. He calmed down, no longer angry. I smiled at him before I looked down and blushed. When I looked up, I caught Manny's eyes on me. She raised an eyebrow at us as everyone else looked at the two of us and raised an eyebrow in question. "What?" I asked, before I sat down on the chair.

 **Jay's POV:  
** I put my arms around Emma as everyone else looked at us, questionably. She shrugged and smiled at me as I looked back at her. I immediately calmed down. She smiled at me before she looked at the ground. Everyone stared at us, not expecting this. "What?" Emma asked as I moved my arms and she sat down in a chair next to Toby and Liberty. "Are you okay?" She asked, softly to the girl. "I will be when I find out JT's condition." She said, standing up and looking pissed off. When Toby mentioned that he couldn't imagine how bad it would be for her or Sean if the other was in the hospital, I got a little upset. I knew he was talking about the shooting which is kind of my fault. Luckily, no one knows about it except for Spinner, Alex and I. Emma would never speak to me again if she knew that I had something to do with it.

"Anyone here for JT Yorke." The doctor said as I looked over at the her. "Yes. We all are." Liberty said, as we all looked at the doctor. "JT is going to be fine. Don't worry about him. He's expected to make a full recovery. You can see him once we make sure he can have visitors." The doctor walked away as Emma kissed me, happily.

 **Emma's POV:  
** I kissed Jay happily, not caring about anyone else watching us. After a few seconds, I pulled away and looked at everyone's shocked expression, except Alex. She smiled at us while everyone else was not moving at all. "What?" I said, blushing as Jay once again put his arms around me. Manny was the first to recover. "Sean's going to be pissed when he finds out." She muttered under her breath. She looked at me and whispered, "Girl talk, ASAP." I nodded as everyone else recovered too. "Well, it looks like you two are dating for real because none of us believed that little stunt in the hallway was real. It looked like you were trying to piss off Alex, Emma." I glared at Toby, feeling Alex's eyes on me. "It was Jay's idea." I said, before I stopped myself. "Me? You're the one who said that you couldn't wait to see the look on Alex's face when she saw us together." He said, as I looked at him. "Fine. It was Jay's idea to fake the relationship and it was my idea to kiss him just to piss off Alex." I said as I pointed to her, trying not to laugh.

"That was before we became best friends." I told her and she nodded and smiled before looking away. "Alex wasn't the only one who was going to be angry about this." Manny said, crossing her arms. "What are you going to do when Sean finds out?" I sighed and looked at Jay before I turned to Manny. "Jay and I haven't exactly talking about where our relationship is at the moment." I said, honestly and shrugged. "Well, you better figure it out soon before Sean finds out." I nodded and waited to see JT.

Soon, the doctor let us in to see him, Liberty went in first, followed by Manny, Toby and I went in last. I looked at Jay as he kissed me on the cheek before I walked in JT's hospital room. "Hey, JT. It's Emma. Please wake up." I said as I held his hand for awhile. I turned to leave when I heard, "Liberty," behind me. I ran from the room as everyone looked at me. I went up to the doctor to tell him that JT is awake before I headed towards everyone else. "He's awake and asked for you." I looked at Liberty and smiled. She hugged me as I felt happier and smiled for the first time since Sean's been in jail. Maybe he can get out of jail soon. I smiled at the thought before I caught Jay's eyes on me and smiled at him, getting a smile from him in return.

 **(1): This is the new me and I'm so much better is what Maya Matlin said during her depression/PTSD storyline after Cam's death. I think it was sometime after she used Harry to "get over" Cam.**

 **What do you think about this chapter? I hope you guys continue reading this story.**


	19. Chapter 19

Just to let all of you know, I don't know how many Chapters until the ending of this story, but please be patient. Sean will be in jail for awhile longer because, unfortunately, he couldn't get out of jail until Emma was able to help him. I want him out of jail as much as you all do, but it will take time. Emma does need him more than ever, but a few things have to happen first before he gets out and possibly reunites with her-there will be drama that gets in the way of these two-so please read the story through the end. I have a few ideas in mind before the story ends and it will be **DRAMATIC** , so here is the chapter. I don't know if there will be anymore Semma scenes for awhile because I've got to figure out which ending to write before we reach the end of this chapter. This will be the **FIRST** story of the series, so please be patient.

 **Emma's POV:  
** JT wasn't able to go home for awhile due to his wounds, but no one really complained since he would be alright. I sighed as I walked out of the hospital towards my car with Alex behind me. I unlocked it then Alex got in the passenger seat, while Jay went to his car.

We were going back to her apartment to watch tv since we couldn't stay at the hospital due to the condition he was in. "Are you okay?" Alex asked as I could feel her eyes on me. I nodded, but stared at the road. "Emma, it's okay to cry." I didn't feel like it when I was driving. "I know, but I don't feel like it right now, Lexi." I said, as she nodded.

"Emma, Jay really does like you." I looked at her, confused before I turned my eyes back to the road. "No offence, but I've got enough things to deal with. I'm not exactly looking for a relationship right now. Besides, if Sean found out then he would kill Jay." I told her as I sighed, gripping the steering wheel. "Emma, just think about it." I sighed again before I spoke.

"I can't deal with this right now, Alex. I cheated on my boyfriend with Sean by kissing him at least 5 times before i broke up with Peter and if I start dating jay, then I'll be setting myself up for more heartbreak. God knows I've had enough of that to last me a lifetime. Not to mention that Sean is my first love and I don't want to hurt him. I just want him to be happy and he won't be until he gets out of there. It would be even worse if Jay and I were dating because I don't want those two getting in another fight like they did the day they met." I explained, closing my eyes for a moment before opening them again.

"What about your happiness, Emma. What do you want?" My heart wants Sean, but I don't think he will want to get back together after everything that I have gone through. I love him and want him to be happy. If he's happier with someone else-even if it's Ellie-then I'll support him. I have to let him go. My heart also wants Jay, so I'm really confused. Part of me wants the man I've been in love with since I was 13, but the other part of me wants his best friend, who gave me Gonorrhea. It's messed up, I know, but can't help it.

 **Did that mean that I'm also in love with Sean's best friend?**

That can't happen. I can't be in love with Jayson Hogart. Not possible. Weren't supposed to be getting along this well because we are supposed to be tolerated each other, for Sean's sake. Not kiss each other over and over again and blue the lines between friendship and relationship.

 **FUCK! Why is this happening to me. I'm supposed to get back together with Sean after he gets out of jail. Ugh!**

I love Sean and I always will, but I can't hurt him like this. That's why I haven't told him yet. If he found out now, everything would fall apart. **(1)**

I don't understand why it's so easy to be myself around Jay. I don't know if it's because he's Sean's best friend or because we are friends now. I just have to distance myself from him so I don't get into something I can't get out of. I don't want to hurt Jay or Sean, but i have a lot of things to deal with and a relationship isn't one of them.

I sighed, before I spoke. My mind was racing and didn't stop. "I want to be with Sean; he's everything to me. His happiness and safety is more important to me than anything else. I love him more than anything or anyone in my life because he'll always be my first kiss, first crush, first date and we've been through everything together. Even when we were arguing and breaking up, he never gave up on me. He's always been there for me and has never let me get hurt. He's protected me from Rick after I got a gun pointed at my face and I will never be able to repay him for all of that, especially when he threw himself in front of me so he would take the bullet instead of seeing me getting hurt or killed." She sighed before I continued.

"On the other hand, Jay and I have known each other for awhile now and he's been there for me after the shooting. I needed a distraction and he was one of them. Even though the shooting still scares me, I'm grateful that he's helping me when Sean isn't able to," I said as I pulled the car into the parking lot and turned off the car, but didn't get out. "but I don't need a relationship right now and I don't want to hurt Jay or Sean. I love Sean with everything I have and with everything in me, but I don't want to hurt either of them. If I hurt Jay then Sean will be wondering what's been happening while he's been gone and I don't know how I can explain that because I know he will be hurt, angry and jealous if he finds out that Jay likes me back. I won't be able to look in his eyes because I know I will see the hurt, anger and jealousy in them because I know him." I continued, with tears in my eyes.

"I can tell how he feels and what he's thinking just by looking into his eyes, but I don't want to hurt Jay either. At the same time, if we start dating, it will break Sean. I've never seen him more angry then the second time we broke up because I couldn't spend time with him as much as we wanted and he started hanging out with Jay as a result. I've never seen him more heartbroken then the time we broke up the first time after he got in a fight with Jimmy Brooks." I sighed as I looked out the window.

"Even after all of that, the only time I've seen him get scared was when Rick tried to kill me and-outside of our relationship-I've never seen him more heartbroken then the time Ellie, Sean, myself and jay went to Wasaga and he stayed behind. He was so upset when he told his parents what happened and he was still upset when we all left. He was crying when I saw him through Jay's car window and it broke my heart, Alex. I hated seeing him like that and not able able to help him. Ellie was the one who comforted him after the shooting and I could tell that he really loved her." I sighed and looked at her. "Bottom line; I care about both of them. If I hurt Jay, Sean will be suspicious. If I date jay, Sean will be hurt. Either fucking way, I'm screwed."

"Do you have feelings for Jay?" She said as I looked at her. "Be honest."

 **What do you think? I know it wasn't that much, but now you know why Emma is so scared to answer the question about Jay. She doesn't want to screw up anything.**

 **There will be more drama coming, so stay tuned.**

 **I'm working on chapter 20 now. Let me know if you want me to speed this story up a bit or if it's perfect the way it is. I don't want to speed it up too much because there will be at least one more story after this one that will be it's sequel and maybe another story after that.**

 **Emma needs someone to talk to and she's finally opening up a bit to Alex, so she's starting to trust her as one of her best friends.**

 **Up next: Emma and Manny talk while Alex tries to get Jay to open up about how he feels towards Emma. Drama coming up next.**


	20. Chapter 20

Trigger warning at the end. Just thought I should tell you.

 **Emma's** **POV** : **  
**I slammed the door to my car and went up the stairs to the apartment, crossing my arms and glaring at the ground. I was so frustrated by this. I never wanted to hurt Sean and Jay, but I didn't know what to do right now. I didn't feel like answering her question because I didn't know the answer myself. I do care about Jay, but I still love Sean. Did I want to take a chance and try and be with him even though I would be playing with fire. I sighed as Alex opened the door to her apartment. Jay drove in the driveway as I walked in the apartment and sat down in the bed I slept on last night.

 **Alex's POV:  
** I was worried about Emma and Jay. It's obvious he has feelings for her, but Emma said that she doesn't need to be in a relationship right now. I don't know how I could tell Jay that. He really does care about her. I walked in the apartment and went to the kitchen to get something to drink. I got a soda as Jay came in the door. "How is she?" Jay asked with a worried look in his eyes. "She hasn't told me everything, Jay. I don't know how to bring it up. I know that something is bothering her." I didn't want to tell Jay what Emma said in the car because I knew it would upset him. I sighed, as Jay crossed his arms. "What did she tell you?" He asked, his voice worried and curious. "She said that she doesn't need a relationship right now." He sighed, as I put my hand on his shoulder.

"She needs time, Jay. The shooting is still bothering her and Cameron isn't around to help her right now. She needs you to be her friend right now. It's better than not being in her life at all." He nodded as I went to sit down on the couch. "She wouldn't want me around if she ever found out." Jay said, looking like he was about to fall apart. I haven't seen him like this before and it scares me because I didn't know how much Emma secretly means to him until now. She doesn't even know.

"We can't tell her." Jay said as I looked at him. "Are you insane?" I asked as he shook his head. "If we keep it from her than you'll lose her and she'll go back to Cameron when he gets out. She'll never talk to you again." I told him with my hands on his shoulder. "I can't lose her, Alex." I raised my eyebrow as I saw tears in his eyes. "You love her, don't you?" He nodded, as I hugged him.

"I've never felt this way about anyone else, besides you." He said and I knew he was serious when I looked in his eyes.

 **SHIT! We are SCREWED.**

I've never seen Jayson Hogart cry before. I didn't let go of him as he worried about the girl upstairs, who has unknowingly stolen his heart.

 **Jay's POV:  
** My phone went off after about 5 minutes. I answered it. "Jay, I need your help. Can you come down here now." Sean said on the other end of the phone. I told him that I would be down there soon and hung up. "Who was that?" Alex asked, as I told her to look after Emma while I went to see my best friend.

"Sean needs my help with something. I'll be back." She nodded before she said that she would keep an eye on Emma. "Sean would kill all of us if anything bad happened to her." I said before I walked out the door and into the rain before I unlocked my car and drive off.

A while later, I made it to the jail Sean was at. "I'm here to see Sean Cameron." I said and soon, I was standing in front of him. I was shocked. "Nasty shiner there. I hope it didn't hurt too bad." **(1)** I said, honestly. "I'm fine, Jay, but I need your help I can't stay in here much longer. My court hearing is coming up soon and I need to get an attorney, but I can't afford it. Can you see if Emma can help me?" I nodded as he handed me some papers. "Give those to her the next time you see her." I nodded before I turned around to leave. "Is she doing okay?" I nodded, as he slightly calmed down.

Little did any of us know how bad it would get before everything completely fell apart.

 **Emma's POV:  
** I was laying on the bed in Alex's apartment, thinking about what my next move would be. What am I going to do next and who would I choose? I was drinking a beer when I heard the door open an hour later. I quickly hid the beer and laid back down on the bed. There was a knock at the door. "Come in." I called as Jay came in with papers in his hand. I looked at him, questionably. "I saw Cameron earlier and he told me to give you these. He wants you to be there for his court hearing. I would go, but I have to work and he needs you more than ever, Emma." He handed them to me and I looked at the papers before I looked up at him. "How is he?"

Jay looked at me for a few moments before he answered. "He's fine, except a few bruises on the right side of his face. It's bad, Em, but he's trying to hang in there until he gets out." He looked at me as I got curious. "What?" I asked as he quickly shook his head, muttered, "nothing," and walked out of the room.

Jay's comment about Sean getting hurt in jail made me cry. I threw the papers down in anger and quickly grabbed what I was looking for out of my bag before I held it to my arm. I was crying harder as I dragged the compass across my upper arm and winced in pain. The compass fell to the ground and I quickly grabbed a towel and put it on my arm to stop the bleeding.

I quickly grabbed my clothes and went to the bathroom. After I put my clothes on the toilet seat, I undress and in. The blood from my arm made the water turn red as it went down the drain. I didn't care as I sat down in the bathtub and started crying harder than I've ever had in my life.

 **(1): A quote from Campbell saunders in bittersweet symphony part 1 when he was talking to Zig.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Emma's** **POV** : **  
**The next day, I went to the courthouse with all the money I had in my purse. I've been saving up the past 6 birthdays and Holidays, but this is more important. I wanted to help Sean as much as I can. I got out of my car and into the rain, but I didn't care. I walked in and saw Sean with a cop holding his arms behind him. "Sean." I said as he turned to me with happiness in his eyes. I walked over to him. I noticed how bad the bruise was. I wanted to cry right then and there, but I didn't want to cry in front of Sean again like I did last time.

"Emma, I'm so happy to see you." I hugged him as he sighed. "Vanilla." He said, as I though about how much I've missed this. I love him, but I was hit with so much guilt about everything I've kept from him over the past month. I was about to tell him everything as I pulled away, but I decided not to because I didn't want to upset him. "Emma, are you okay?" He asked as I smiled. "I'm fine." I said as he leaned in and kissed me. "I've really missed you." He said, as we stayed there staring at each other. I loved looking into his blue eyes, but why did I miss certain Gray ones so much?

Sean had to go to his court hearing, but it ended quicker than I thought. The doors opened and he walked down the steps with the cop behind him. He looked mad. "That was fast." I said as he walked down the stairs. "The stupid attorney didn't show up, so unless I can get the money for another one I'm screwed," he said as he turned to look at me. "Oh, shit. I feel so stupid because I knew there was a reason I came here." I said, as he raised an eyebrow. "You wanted to see me." He said, smirking as I nodded before I sighed. "Yes. I came to see you, but there is another reason why." He looked at me, questionably as I quickly looked away and looked through my purse.

I stopped as I noticed the compass I used last night, remembering that I cut my arm and watched as the blood dropped from my arm. That was the first time I cut. I shook my head and quickly pushed that thought away. If Sean knew about it, then it would kill him to know that I felt so much emotional pain and used to compass to intentionally cause myself physical pain.

I found what I was looking for. "I have something for you." I said, as I grabbed the money out of my bag. "Emma, you did this for me?" His eyes lit up and he smiled. Even though I was happy to see Sean again, I knew it would be awhile before I would see him again. "Yeah. I want to help you get out of jail. All of this is my birthday and Holiday money since we met. I was saving it for something important and nothing is more important to me than you." He started crying and I hugged him. "Sean, don't cry." I said as he continued sobbing into my shoulder. "Emma, I can't take this." I frowned. "Sean Cameron, you better take this because I will not take no for an answer. You need it more than I do. Please." I said as I crossed my arms. He nodded as I smiled.

"You're amazing." I smiled as the cop took the money from my hand. "I'll make sure none of this is used to anything else." I nodded as the cop looked at me, smiling. "What?" I said, confused and curious. He smiled as I turned back to Sean. "I love you." He said as I smiled. "Always and forever. Don't worry, Sean. You'll be out of here in no time." He said as I leaned in and kissed him, once again feeling extreme guilt about everything I haven't told him yet.

I pulled away and saw the cop having a huge smile on him as he looked between us. "Dude, you better not let this girl go. She's a keeper." I blushed. "I'm not going to because I'm going to fight for us." Sean said looking at me. "I'd better get going." I told him before I hugged him again. "I'll see you again soon." He smiled, looking deep inn my eyes. "Thank you Emma." I nodded, "I don't know exactly how much is in that roll, but it's all there. I had all of it in my nightstand drawer. It should be enough to cover it." I have him a kiss on the cheek and left, feeling his eyes on me until I was walked around the corner.

I drove away from the courthouse and went to Alex's apartment. She opened the door as I saw Jay on the couch. I quickly looked away from him and sat down on the other end away from him. "I went to the courthouse and gave the money to Sean so he could get a lawyer." Alex smiled as she walked into the kitchen. "Are you okay?" I looked at Jay. "You said that he had a bruise, but it was worse than that." I said as I looked into his eyes missing Sean's blue ones.

What the hell is wrong with me? Why do I miss Sean when I'm around Jay and I miss the latter when I'm around the former? There has got to be something wrong with me. Hopefully, I'll be able to figure it out soon before I go insane. I sighed as Jay looked at me apologetically. "I'm sorry, Emma." I nodded as I looked at the sleeve of my shirt, knowing that if anyone rolled it up they would see the cut on my arm and figure out what had happened. I didn't want anyone to know about it at all. "Its fine, Jay." I said as my phone beeped. **Be careful, Emma. You wouldn't want Sean to get hurt would you?** I sighed as I looked at the text and shut my phone.

"How is he?" I looked at Alex, who was sitting across from us. "He got a little mad because the lawyer didn't show up, so I decided to give him all the money I got from my birthday and Holidays I've saved up since we met 6 years ago." I smiled as Alex looked at me. "He would be happy to get out of there." Jay said, as I looked at him and then looked away. "Yeah. You should have seen his face after I have him the money. He was so happy when I gave it to him because he was mad due to the attorney not showing up." I said, smiling before my phone rang. _Ellie._ I ignored it because I didn't need to deal with any drama because I already have enough to deal with.

Later that night, I was laying down on the bed thinking about anything and everything at once, which I hated because I knew that I would everything my decision about me feelings. Why was I feeling this way about Sean's best friend? Is it possible that I could be in love with him? No, because this isn't right. I can't have feelings for Jay Hogart. This can't happen because Sean is waiting to get out of jail so we can get back together. Having/getting feelings for his best friend is **NOT** allowed to happen. I can't have feelings for Jay. He's the one who gave me Gonorrhea over a year ago when he cheated on Alex at the Ravine.

I hope nothing ruins our third chance at a relationship. I really do love Sean, but I was so confused. I have to figure this out before Sean gets out. I don't have much time. I have to figure out my feelings for Jay before anything else happens and I know how to do that.

I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and made a Pro and cons list and wrote down Sean's name on one side then wrote Jay on the other side and separated it. I sighed as I thought about what I would write.

Let's see: Sean's **pros** are: He's my first love at 13, protective, loyal, strong, loves me more than anything. **Cons** are: anger issues. Broke up twice.

Jay's **pros** are: loyal to friends, protective. Helped me when Sean's in jail. Friends. Never abandons his friends. **Cons** are: cheated on Alex, commitment issues, Sean's best friend. Hooked up with him, got Gonorrhea from him.

I looked over at the pros and compared them. Damn it! They both have 5 Pros. Why is this so difficult? I sighed as I crumbled up the paper and threw it in the trash, not wanting to think about this anymore.

 **A/N: It seems like Emma is starting to realize she may have feelings for Jay. How will this work while she's trying to get back together** **with Sean?**

 **What do you think? Jay already knows that he likes her, but she's just starting to realize her feelings for him. I'm thinking about taking their friendship to the next level in the next chapter** **, because if I do then the story will be a little longer than I originally planned. Plus it will be a good reason to bring more drama. Sean would have to fight for Emma and it will set everything in motion for the sequel.**

 **I know that she's confused right now, but I think it would be a good idea.**

 **Please tell me what you think by voting on the poll in my profile bio.**


	22. Chapter 22

If any of you follow me on instagram then please vote for which title I should use for the sequel. The choices are: Start all over, Everything has changed, A perfect storm, flirting with disaster, letting go, path of destruction, fighting, scars left by memories, fearless and Feel this-the last one is an amazing song by Haley James Scott-so please go to my instagram and vote.

 **Emma's** **POV** : **  
**The next day Jay drove me to school. I got in the car and made sure I had everything. My phone beeped, but I ignored it as I walked into Degrassi. "Hey, Em." Manny said as she looked at Jay and smiled. I silently groaned, knowing that she probably had a crush on him. I didn't know why I felt so weird about it, especially since Jay and I are just friends. Sure, we've kissed here and there, but I didn't know where our relationship stood-if you could even call it a relationship-so I was confused.

Jay smirked as he looked at her. I rolled my eyes because I knew she would flirt with him and I didn't want to see that at all. I'm supposed to be getting back together with Sean, but Jay keeps getting in the way. I **HAVE** to distance myself from him and this time I will.

I walked away and went to class early. JT walked up to me after I sat down "Are you okay, Emma?" He asked as I nodded. "You look a little pale." He stated. "Whoa, what's going on?" Liberty asked, worried. "Emma is pale." She stated, worried as she walked towards us.

I looked at them, got up and crossed my arms. I started falling as JT caught me. "I'll go get help!" JT said, as my eyes closed.

 **Jay's** **POV** : **  
**Emma best friend, Manny, was flirting with me. I wasn't really paying attention because my mind was on Emma. One of their friends ran down the hall and immediately went into the principal's office. "What's going on?" Manny asked as she finally stopped flirting with me. Soon, Liberty ran over to us as Manny she looked at a panicked Liberty. "What happened?" Manny asked, worried. "Emma passed out. We have to call Sean. This has gone too far."

Ellie was suddenly beside me on her phone. I shut it and looked at her. "No one calls Cameron. One: he's in jail, so what can he do? Second of all: it will worry him and he doesn't need that. He had a court hearing yesterday and the attorney didn't show up. Emma gave him some money for an attorney, so he should be out of there, soon. No one tells Cameron anything until he gets out of jail." I said, getting pissed off at the red head. "He has a right to know, Hogart. He doesn't like the idea of something bad happening to her. She means **EVERYTHING** to him and he would risk his life to protect her, even after their breakups." Manny said, looking at me, as the red head nodded.

"I mean he did save her from Rick by throwing himself in front of a gun so he would take the bullet instead of her." Ellie said, sadly.

"Wait a minute: she's been continuing to hurt herself like this?" Liberty said that she thinks so. Soon, JT walked up to us. "Emma will be fine. The nurse is watching over her." We all sighed in relief.

 **Emma's** **POV** : **  
**I woke up on a leather bed and was confused about what happened. "Emma, it's the school nurse. How do you feel?" I slowly got up and opened my eyes. I looked at her in confusion. "Better. Just tired." I told her, honestly. She nodded. "You can go back to class or go home. Your choice." I told her that I would like to go back to class. She smiled and told me to be careful. I nodded and walked out of the room and out in the hallway. I saw Jay and hugged him when I got close enough. He let go, as Ellie asked if I was okay. I rolled my eyes. "Guys, quit asking me that." I turned to Ellie.

"Now I know why Sean broke up with you because you wouldn't stop asking him the same things over and over again. It's getting old hearing, you ask if Sean and I are okay or pressuring him to talk about it when he doesn't want to." I glared at her hurt expression.

"I know Sean better than anyone, except jay, and I would never pressure him, unlike you, to talk about it when he doesn't want to. No wonder he broke up with you. I don't blame him because I understand when he needs space and I would give it to him, no questions asked. So **BACK THE HELL OFF**!" I yelled before I punched a locker, making her and everyone else, except Jay, scared. I walked away from all of them.

Why can't Ellie leave people alone? I wondered as my phone beeped.

l looked at the message. **Emma, are you okay?** Jay asked as I replied that I was fine. He asked were I was and I told him that I was in class. He walked up to me and looked into my eyes. "I know you said that you didn't want or news a relationship right now, but would you be willing to give us a chance?" I nodded as he smiled.

My phone beeped and I read the message. **Stay away from Jay Hogart. I mean it, unless you want Sean to find out what happened between you two at the Ravine while he was in Wasaga. I'm watching you and I know that Sean is your number 1 weakness. It seems as if Jay is becoming a close second. You wouldn't want either of them to get hurt, would you?**

Class just started, so I turned my head to the front.

A/N: Sorry about the short chapter. If you guys want me to add more dialogue and a little bit less details, then let me know. If any of you follow me on instagram then please vote for which title I should use for the sequel. The choices are: Start all over, Everything has changed, A perfect storm, flirting with disaster, letting go, path of destruction, fighting, scars left by memories, fearless and Feel this-the last one is an amazing song by Haley James Scott-so please go to my instagram and vote.


	23. Chapter 23

I used a scene from "crazy little thing called love." You guys wanted this and now the real drama will begin.

 **Emma's** **POV** : **  
**Over the next few days, Jay and I spent as much time together as we could. One day, Jay and I were hanging out on a Saturday at the Ravine when my phone rang. I ignore it. "Who is it?" Jay asked as I shrugged and looked at him. "I'm really happy that you gave me a chance."

I smiled as he put his arms around me. "Like I said before: you're not that bad." He laughs a little. "Neither are you. I can't see why Cameron fell for you." I frowned. "What is it?" I sighed and shook my head. "I don't know how he's going to react about us? I'm kind of worried because he does have anger issues." He nodded. "We will deal with it when he gets out of jail." I nodded as my phone rang. "Hello?" I asked as I heard a voice on the other end. "Emma, it's me. Can you come down here?" Sean asked a little anxious. "Why?" I asked confused.

"You'll see." I could feel his smile on the other end. "Sure. I'll be there soon." I said and hung up. "Sean wants me to come by and see him." I answered the unasked question he has in his eyes. He nodded before he leaned in and kissed me. "I'll be back soon. I promise." He smiled before he let me go and I walked to my car.

I drove off and found a parking spot when I got there. I stood by the entrance and saw Sean come out. "Hey, sight for sore eyes." He said, throwing his backpack on the ground and pulling me into a tight hug. He sighed and said, "I'm free." He smiled at me as he blue eyes looked into my brown ones. "Thanks to you." I smiled back. "All I did is help you get a lawyer."

"You got me a hearing. You got my sentence reduced." He said, happily. "You have 2 years of probation."

"Whatever. I'm out." He stated. "Now we can be together." He said grabbing my hands in his. "The perfect girl and the guy who doesn't deserve her." **I'm NOT the perfect girl you think I am. I'm the one who doesn't deserve you.** We looked down at our hands before he looked back into my eyes. "Man I missed you." He said with a sigh. "I missed you too. A lot." I said, smiling a little.

"I also miss bacon double cheeseburgers." He said grabbing his backpack. "With the works." He put it over his shoulder as we walked a little bit away from the entrance. "I see jail hasn't turned you vegetarian." He said that he's been dreaming out it for months. "I guess I can put my carnivorous objections aside just this once," I said as I put my hand in my back right pocket. "It's present time." I pulled out the photo of our first date and showed it to him. "Is this us?" He asked, shocked. "6 years ago." I said as he turned said. "Sometimes I wish I could stop time." He said, looking at it. "Go back."

I looked at him then back to the picture. "To bad hair, braces and pubis and awkwardness?" I questioned. "No thanks." He turned to me, but looked down, not meeting my eyes. "Back to a time when you were proud of me." He said as I put my hand on the side of his jaw and rubbed his cheek with my thumb.

"Sean, don't worry about it. I know why you did it. Look, we all make mistakes, even me." I frowned at the memory of the time I spent with Jay when Sean was in Wasaga. He still doesn't know about it. He scoffed, finally meeting my eyes. "I doubt that." He said before I looked at him. "Trust me. Now let's get the hell out of here." He smiled a little. My phone rang. "Hey, I said as I unlocked the car, with my phone between my left cheek and my shoulder. "Hey, babe. Did you make it there alright?" He asked as I got in the car and Sean got in next to me.

I smiled about how much he cared about me. What would he do if he knew about my drinking/anorexia/cutting problem? What would Sean do if he found out? Thank God I was wearing a little sweater so the cuts couldn't be noticed that easily.

I shook my head at the thought as I spoke to Jay. "Yes. I'm fine. Don't worry about me." I said and I could see him frown. "I always do." Feelings of guilt washed over me because he didn't know anything. Damn it. "I know. I just picked up Sean, so we will see you soon." I told him as I smiled. "Alright. I'll see you at the Dot."

I drove to the Dot, nervously. What if Jay told Sean a bout us? I mean, I'm not ashamed of my relationship, but I don't want Sean to think that Jay's taking advantage of me? Would his perspective of his best friend change the second he finds out about my relationship with the latter? He has Benn thinking that Jay is a good person since they met, but will he change his mind when he finds out I'm Jay's girlfriend? Would I ruin their friendship and my platonic relationship with Sean as a result? I don't want them fighting over me.

I sighed as a parked close to the entrance. "Em, you okay?" I nodded, nervously, before I grabbed my purse and got out of the car. I looked at the Dot and took a breath, knowing this could either go really well or it could go down in flames.

 **There is at least 10 chapters left. Maybe more or less. It kind of depends.**


	24. Chapter 24

**Emma's** **POV** :  
I walked in the Dot and saw Jay sitting at a table close to the door. "Hey." I told him as I smiled. Sean came in and sat on the other side of me. "Hey, man." Sean said, as Jay looked at me. "Nice to see you out of jail." Sean smiled and nodded. "It feels great to be out of there."

"I still blame Peter for that." I muttered under my breath as they both looked at me. "What? He's a dumbass." I said when they both looked at me. "Whoa, Greenpeace is cussing? This is new." Jay said, smirking. "Who's hungry? I'm buying." I announced as they both looked at me in disbelief. Once they got over their shock, they told me what they wanted.

"Hey, guys. Are you ready to order? I would have been over here sooner, but we are very busy today." Spinner said as we all ordered our food. After awhile Manny came in. "Hey, guys Sean I'm so happy you're back." She sat down across from me. "So am I." He said then asked, "How was she doing while I was gone?" I faked a smiled and told him that I was doing alright but still missed him. "Really, because you were crying the last time I saw you." He stated. "I'm fine, Sean. I told you it was because of school and everything else." Sean looked worried. "Oh no. Simpson's cancer hasn't come back has it?" I shook my head. "No. He's fine. It's just school that's been stressing me out."

Sean didn't look convinced, but he let it go. Soon we all left after I paid for our food. I sighed as I walked to my car, wondering how I'm going to tell Sean about my relationship with Jay. "Yeah, right. Just school." Manny said, sarcastically, looking at me as Alex came in. "Hey, happy to see you out of jail." She said to Sean, before she turned to me. "We all need to talk." She said, crossing her arms. "Ugh, not this again." I said, as she looked at me and her frown deepened. "Sorry, Emma. You're giving us no choice. You have completely changed since we met and it ends now." She said as I refused to look at anyone else as I glared at the girl. "What's going on?" Sean asked, worried. "Nothing." I replied, still looking at Alex. "Just forget it." I said before I walked out the door, got in my car and drove off.

I walked into the house as Spike looked up at me. "Hey, Emma. Are you feeling alright?" She asked, worried. "I'm fine. I just drove to Alex's apartment and didn't feel like driving back home that night, so she offered to have me stay at her house for awhile." She nodded and smiled, just as Snake walked into the room.

"Emma, you're back. Alex called a few days ago and told me that you showed up to her apartment, not wanting to drive back here that late at night." I nodded, as he looked mom then turned back to me. "I told Jay that you weren't feeling well, but he still seemed worried. Maybe you should talk to him." He said, as I nodded once again. "I talked to him awhile ago." I said, as my phone beeped. **Emma, if you don't stay away from Jay Hogart then you will regret it. Trust me. I'm watching you. Don't piss me off.** My phone beeped again as I read the message. **Emma, we all need to talk about this. It's getting out of control. Please talk to us because Sean is worried.-Ellie.** I sighed as I deleted the message from her, because I had other important things to deal with them my friends bothering me. I couldn't believe that I was still being threatened. I have to find out who this is.

I was about to lay down on my bed, when I felt dizzy. I tried to grab onto something, but my head started hurting and I fell to the floor.

* * *

I was worried about Emma because she hasn't talked to any of us very much, even though she's been hanging out with Jay and Alex a lot more recently. It seems like she's been distancing herself from Jay, but at the same time isn't trying to let us know that something is wrong. I know Emma-because she's been my best friend for years-and I know how she acts when she's hiding something. She did that around the time she and Jay hooked up almost 2 years ago. "Is Emma okay?" Sean asked, worried, I feel bad for him because he doesn't know about his first love and his best friend's relationship. I feel like Emma is needing a distraction from something, but Sean is here, so that can't be a reason. Those two are still in love with each other and they always will since she's known him since she was 13. She may have genuine feelings for Jay, but I know it isn't as strong as her feelings for Sean Cameron.

Jay and I looked at each other, worried, since Toby, JT, Liberty, Ellie agreed with us about keeping Emma's recent change in behavior a secret from him. We all know how bad Sean's anger problem is and it wouldn't be good If he knew right now because he just got out of jail. I turned back to Sean and was about to say something when I heard sirens in the distance. My phone rang. "Manny, It's spike. Come to the hospital. Now!" She yelled and hung up.

"What is it?" I took off out the door with the boys got in the car.

"We have to go to the hospital!" I said, as I put on my seatbelt and shut the car door. Jay drove off out of the parking lot. My phone rang. "Emma's already been admitted. We will meet you there." Spike said, before I could say anything.

Soon, we arrived at the hospital and ran inside. Spike looked at us as we all approached her. Snake's arm was around her. JT, Liberty, Alex and Toby was there. Hell, even Ellie. "What happened?" I asked, since Jay and Sean didn't say anything. "She fainted." The doctor came in the waiting room, looking a little relieved and worried at the same time. "Friends and Family of Emma Nelson." She said, as she looked at us. "I'm Dr. Ramirez. It seems like she had a dizzy spell and hit her head when 'she tried to catch herself from falling to the floor. She has a cut on her forehead from when she fell so she must have gotten it from the edge of her nightstand or table. She's asleep right now, but we don't know when she will wake up. It could be a few hours or more. We ran some tests and it seems like a low blood sugar could have been the cause of it." Ramirez paused. "Has she had any eating disorders in the past?"

"Yeah. About a year ago, she was diagnosed with Anorexia." I said, as Sean and Jay both looked at me in shock. The doctor nodded, sadly. "She could have relapsed." We all nodded. "Her stupid ex-boyfriend, Spike, Snake," I gestured to her parents. "had an intervention and it led to her panic attack." Once again, the two of them looked at me shocked. "Ok. Thanks for telling me." Suddenly, another doctor ran up to Ramirez, panicked. She was whispering before the both disappeared down the hall. "What did she say?" Sean asked, as I didn't want to tell him what I heard the doctor say:

"Emma Nelson's heart stopped."


	25. Chapter 25

**Manny's POV:**  
I didn't say anything to them, so I just shrugged. Jay and Sean looked worried, as I couldn't believe what she said about my distant best friend. I told her awhile back that if she didn't stop starving herself that she would die. "Manny, what did she say?" Sean asked, standing in front of me with Jay next to him. I shook my head and looked away from him. "Manny, tell us what the doctor said." Ellie said, worried. "This doesn't concern you." I said, glaring at her. "What is your problem? Is this about Craig." She asked, as I continued glaring at her. "No. My problem with you doesn't matter at the moment." I said, as I continued glaring at her.

We sat in the waiting room for awhile. Sean was sitting next to me with Jay on my right side: Ellie left after our confrontation to get some food. Liberty, JT and Toby looked worried as they continued standing. I was worried and by the look on Alex's face, she was too as she looked down the hallway every few seconds. Soon the doctors came in the waiting room and looked a little worried.

 **Alex's POV:  
** I was worried because Emma means a lot to Jay and means everything to Cameron. Everyone else looked worried as well. Emma's parents went to get something to eat, while her little brother was at their grandma's house for the night. I could tell that her mom was trying not to cry as Simpson put his arm around her trying not to panic. Jay and Cameron were probably worried the most-other than her parents-because the latter obviously still loves her and the former just started dating Emma. She makes him happy.

Cameron was sitting next to Emma's ex best friend and Jay was on the other side of her. I could tell that they are both tired, but I also knew that the boy's wouldn't leave without finding out if Emma's okay. Ellie looked worried as well, but I think it's because of the fact that if anything happened to Cause Girl, Sean would leave town forever and would never look back. I didn't like their relationship that much because she always pushed him to talk about the shooting when he never wanted to. I don't blame him because it was so tragic. Jimmy got shot, Cause Girl could have lost her life if Sean hadn't protected her, leading to him getting injured trying to fight Rick for the gun. Emma would never push him to talk about it and she would give him some space, while Ellie was the complete opposite. That's why I liked his relationship with Degrassi's Golden Girl.

Soon, the doctor came back in the waiting room. I was waiting to hear something since I kept on looking down the hallway every few seconds. "There's some good news and bad news." Sean, Jay and Manny stood up as she said that. "I'm assuming you want the bad news first." Sean and Jay both nodded, worry in both of their eyes. I realized something when I saw the light in his eyes: He's fallen for Cause Girl. Even though I knew it, I knew he would never admit it, especially since his girlfriend's first love was standing next to him. I could see how much both boys love her due to them being worried about her and how fast they both realized that something was wrong right after Emma's mom called me at the Dot.

"Emma's heart stopped for a few minutes." She paused as Sean immediately walked out of the room, towards the double doors that led outside. Ellie looked at him and then turned back to the doctor. Emma's mom immediately started crying while Simpson tried to hold it back, but couldn't as they held on to each other. "What's the good news?" Jay asked as his voice cracked, still worried, but hopeful due to the good news at the same time. "The good news is that we were able to revive her, but she needs to stay overnight for more testing." Jay crossed his arms and looked expressionless even though his eyes still showed worry and love. "We think the cause," I laughed a little at that as Jay cracked a small smiled and everyone else looked at us. "Sorry." I said, half apologetic and half not.

"is due to her being stressed out and tired." The doctor said, "She's also back to being anorexic, which is why she's staying overnight."

"Is she going to be alright?" Jay asked, worried. "She will be fine when she wakes up." I saw Ellie walk out of the hospital in the same direction Sean went. I rolled my eyes at her behavior. Sean needs his space, but he needs Emma more than anything right now. She's going to go off on her in 3, 2, 1. We all heard Sean yelling at her to leave him alone. Soon, we all heard a car door slam shut and someone driving off. It was probably Ellie in tears. "When will she wake up?" Sean asked, as we all looked at him by the door. His hair was a mess, his eyes worried and terrified about losing her and he looked like he could fall over any minute.

"If she doesn't wake up by tomorrow, then we will have to keep her here a little longer." The doctor said, as I saw Cameron getting angry. Jay held him back. "Do you know why she's doing this?" The doctor shook her head. "I don't. My best guess is it's probably because she's way too stressed out right now, but you'll have to ask her." She said, apologetically. "Tell your little red head friend to give Emma some space when she gets out of the hospital." I shook my head. "Trust me: She is **NO** friend of mine." I said, my voice filled with anger. She nodded, apologetically. "Sorry, but the bottom lime is to try and be there for her the best you can without overwhelming her. I know that you two," She looked at Sean and Jay, "are worried about her the most as her friends, but it won't do her any good if she's asked a lot of questions at once. Just give her time to get through this before asking her why she may be doing this."

We all nodded and left the hospital to go back to my apartment. Sean relaxed a little bit, but was still worried, just like the rest of us. Sean, Jay and I went back to my apartment to try and calm down after this. I could tell that every one was still on edge. "How do we know she's actually doing this?" Sean asked, worried as he sat down and Jay got a beer from the fridge before sitting on the couch next to me. "We don't know for a fact, but we can ask her about it after she gets out of the hospital." Jay asked as Sean looked more upset then he was at the hospital. "I can't believe she died on us for a few minutes." Sean said, sobbing.

 **Emma's POV:  
** _I couldn't see anything at first, until the darkness turned to the Degrassi hallway where I could have gotten shot. I looked around me and saw Rick in the same spot he was the last time I saw him. "Rick, what the hell are you doing here?" I asked, confused. "Aren't you dead? Why am I here and why are you standing in front of me? Where is everyone else?" I asked, as he walked toward me and stopped when I asked him the last question. We were now a foot apart. "Well, Emma. It's just you and I here because it's the way it has to be. Everyone else ran out of the school, but I don't care about that. As for me being dead," he said, laughing a little. "well, let's just say when you're asleep, anything can happen and sometimes, dreams or nightmares can become a reality."_

 _His eyes were the same as always. Cold and emotionless as they were the day I last saw him. "What does that mean?" He shook his head, as I crossed my arms. "Nothing. You'll find out soon enough. Trust me, Emma."_

 _"Ok. that still doesn't explain what you're doing here." I stated as he looked at me for a few moments. "I did. It's the way it has to be Emma." He said, as I felt a sharp pain shoot through me. I yelled, trying to run to him, but Rick held me back as I looked down at the bullet that hit me before I looked back at Rick worried. I fell, still crying before Rick caught me. "Rick! Why did you do that?!" I yelled at him, trying to get out of his hold. "Emma, stop fighting me on this." He said, but I didn't listen to him. I still tried fighting him, even though I was loosing blood. Rick pushed me against the locker and I looked at him, while I felt the blood continue to surround me on the floor by my feet. His eyes softened a little bit, before his eyes went cold once again.  
_

 _Soon, a figure appeared behind Rick, but I couldn't see who it was. Two other figures were on the other side of him and I couldn't see their faces either. "Emma, I'm sorry." One of them said, as I realized that the figure sounded like it was a male. Rick was glaring at me._ _I could feel myself start to slip away. "How could you?" Sean asked as I looked at him. He looked pissed, but I didn't know why. I fell to the floor and was about to close my eyes when t_ _he same figure that apologized to me, spoke again. "Emma, please forgive me." I don't know why, but I felt stronger and felt the blood coming back into my body. Sean still looked mad, but he looked more hurt than anything as he said, "Please, come back to me." I felt more stronger than I was awhile ago._ _I fought Rick and soon, he was the one who ended up on the floor with his blood surrounding him. He closed his eyes as I glared at him, breathing heavily._

 **Hey, everyone. I forgot that Simpson wasn't the principal during season 6, but let's just pretend that he is. I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote that Principal scene after Emma's fight with Ellie. My bad. I'm sorry about that. Let's just pretend that Peter's mom left her position as principal or something. I don't know. The point is, Simpson is Principal-because I want to leave that scene there after Ellie and Emma's fight-and I don't want to rewrite it, so Simpson is the Principal AND MI teacher.**


	26. Chapter 26

Thank you guys for reviewing my story, I know that you guys want Emma to get help-since she needs it-and that you guys are wondering when she will get back together with Sean, but it won't be for awhile. I have a few more ideas planned for this story before it ends and you'll have to read to see how this story ends and how the next one begins. This story is really close to being over, but I do need to have some things happen before it ends. Emma **WILL** get help, but some things have to happen so she will realize she doesn't have a choice and that won't happen until Emma begins her journey in the sequel. **I've got 898 views for this story. so I'm really happy because I didn't expect that this story would be such a big hit with all of you. Please review and I hope you like this chapter. The drama is heating up.**

Enjoy.

 **Alex's POV:  
** I woke up tired because Sean was sobbing for awhile after I let them crash at my apartment. I felt so bad for him and Jay, so I hoped Emma was alright. Soon, we made it to the hospital. Everyone was there, even Ellie. "Is she okay?" Sean asked, anxiously. "They were running some tests on her when we got here, but she hasn't woken up yet." Sean looked down at the ground, while Jay looked like he was trying to control himself from yelling or crying. Everyone else looked just as upset, even Ellie. I rolled my eyes as she looked at Sean. Why is she still hopeful, as if she has a chance? Wow. She's acting like Rick was when he thought he had a chance with Emma. I flinched at the prank Jay and Spinner did with my help. Emma would be so mad if she knew about it.

The doctor came in the waiting room and we all looked at her. "She should wake up soon. We ran more tests on her and we didn't find anything alarming except the fact that her blood sugar was low. We have been feeding her through a tube, but she needs to take it easy. If it gets any lower, then she will die and not just for 5 minutes." We all looked at each other. "So you're saying that she was basically on the edge of dying?" She nodded, before she looked at Sean apologetically. I saw tears in his eyes before he quickly left the room.

"Sean!" Ellie yelled, before I rolled my eyes. Everyone else looked at us and gave her dirty looks. "He needs time." I told her, before she sighed. Jay looked upset, so I held onto him. Even though he cheated on me with Amy, he's still a good friend of mine. Sure, I was pissed when I found out, but I've put that behind me. "So will she be okay?" I asked, while Jay was still holding onto me like a lifeline. The doctor nodded, as we all sighed in relief. "It will be a long road of recovery for her, but as long as you guys help her, she'll be fine." We all nodded, except Ellie who was still looking at the door. She was probably worried about Sean.

"We won't leave her side." I promised as everyone else nodded. Jay let go of me when the other doctor from before came in the room. "Emma Nelson is awake." Ellie said that she would go get Sean, as I rolled my eyes again. I may accept Emma's relationship with Jay, but I know it's not going to last if she finds out everything. We all sighed in relief as Sean came running in the room and asked where she was. "Room 611." She said as Sean went in first. He was in there for awhile before the rest of us. Jay and I were on of the last ones. Ellie went in there as well, but she left the room pretty quickly.

I walked in the room and looked at her. Machines were hooked up, she had an IV in her left arm and she looked tired as hell. I hated seeing my new best friend like this. Knowing that no one will be able to help her, but herself. I don't understand why she would go back to being anorexic at all. It doesn't make any sense. "Emma, you need to wake up. Please. Jay and Sean are more worried about you then they were before."

 **Emma's POV:  
** _I couldn't see anything. Just Darkness. Nothing else. I wanted to wake up, but for some reason, I couldn't. I knew that Jay and Sean are both worried about me, but I don't know why this is happening. I promised Manny that this would never happen again and I'm right back where I started before I was diagnosed with Anorexia. Damn. Why can't I beat this? I know I need help, but I also know that my friends won't be able to help me at all. I'm the only one who can beat this and I have to start fighting it._

I heard a voice in the room, but couldn't seem to find out who it is. "Emma, you need to wake up. Please. Jay and Sean are more worried about you than they were before." It sounded like a female, but I still didn't know who. "Emma, it's Alex. Can you hear me?" She sounded worried about me. I felt a hand grab mine and heard Alex telling me to squeeze her hand if I could.

I did before I heard a soft gasp. "I'll go get the doctor." She said before a door closed.

 **Sean's POV:  
** I was worried about Emma. We all went in to see her as Alex went in last. I didn't know exactly why Emma was doing this to herself, but I knew that she needs help. "She's awake." I heard Alex yell over and over again running towards us. The doctors looked at each other before they ran to her room. Alex looked at me, excited. If you knew Alex then she doesn't get excited easily or at all.

"She is?" Jay asked, happily with some emotion in his eyes. I couldn't tell what it was, but something felt off about it. Jay and Emma were normally arguing with each other, until now. Trust me, I'm happy that they aren't fighting anymore, but I still have a bad feeling about this. I knew that something is **NOT** right about how Jay has been acting.

Alex nodded as him before we all sat down and waited for the doctors to come back with her results. About an hour later, they came back. At least they weren't worried like they were earlier. "She's awake." We all sighed in relief, now knowing that it wasn't a dream. Ellie looked at me with some expression I couldn't read, but it made me feel like there was some big secret or something.

"She should be able to go home in a few minutes. It was just a low blood sugar-just like we thought-but there was something we found on her lower arm when we put the IV in." Everyone tensed again. "What is it?" Jay asked, worried. "It was a cut. Probably from a knife." We all looked at each other, worried. Ellie looked horrified since she used to have cuts on her arms all the time. Wait, Emma would never cut herself on purpose, would she? Jay apparently thought the same thing because he and Ellie shared a look.

No one else spoke. Dead silence. "Do you think it was an accident?" Jay asked, crossing his arms. "Maybe, but you'll have to ask her." The doctor said before walking away. "You don't really think she would intentionally hurt herself, do you?" Spike asked, as we all looked at each other. "She doesn't seem like the type of girl to do that. That's like something Ellie would do instead, but Emma? No way." Jay said, causing Ellie to glare at him.

"Do you guys know if she's been under any stress?" Spike asked, as I hesitantly nodded. "The last time I saw her was when I was in prison. She started crying and said that she was stressed out about school." I explained, as Jay laughed. "It hasn't bothered her before." Spike replied, as Jay nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, like school has ever been a problem with her." Jay replied, as I turned to him. "Do you know what else she could be hiding?" I asked him, getting pissed at the thought of not knowing what's been going on with her. "No, Cameron. If I knew something I would tell you." He said, before we all turned to see Emma walking towards us. "Let's get the hell out of here." She said, as Spike signed her out. Jay, Alex, Emma and I walked to his car.

"Emma, you really scared us." I said to her as she smiled at me. "I'm fine, Sean. Don't worry about me so much." It's like she doesn't even care that she almost died. That thought pissed me off more and the ride back to Alex's apartment was silent.

 **Emma's POV:  
** I sighed as my phone vibrated. **I told you to stay away from Jay Hogart, so break up with him. He's not the guy you think he is. Trust me.** I was confused, so I typed back. _**What is your real name and what do you mean that Jay isn't who I think he is? He's my boyfriend.**_ I hit send and they typed back. **That's a secret and I just know. Trust me. You're better off with your first love. Trust me. Break up with Jason Hogart before you get in to deep. As you get further and further into your romance with Jay, you'll get hurt. Jay will hurt you once you find out his little secret.**

I replied back that Jay would never hurt me. **Not intentionally, but trust me when I tell you not to trust him at all. You have no idea what he's capable of and I don't want to see you get hurt. Break up with him before you regret being with him.**

Once again I told the person that Jay has changed. **Suit yourself, but your setting yourself up for heartbreak. Do you honestly love him? I don't think you've even thought about that before have you. You** **WILL regret this and you won't believe what Jay's secret is. If you ask him, then he will lie to you. I don't know if anyone else knows about what he did, but I do-and no I am NOT going to tell you. Figure it out for yourself. While you're at it, try asking your new best friend, Alex and see if she knows. That will be interesting. Remember, I'm always watching you and if you don't break up with Jay then you WILL regret it. One way or another. Hehe. Have fun, Emma. I'll talk to you soon.**

I sighed, silently and thought about who the person is that's texting me, but more importantly, what is Jay hiding from me? I guess I don't have a right to ask since I'm keeping secrets myself. What did the person mean when they said that I have no idea what he's capable of? I was so confused and I needed answers. The question is, **_how am I going to get the answers I need since I was told that Jay would lie to me? Would he honestly lie to me?_**

I decided to push that thought aside to think about later. Soon, we arrived at Alex's apartment, but Jay stayed in the car, after Alex and Sean went inside. "Jay, are you alright?" I asked, now in the passenger seat up front. I put my hand on his shoulder. "Yeah. I'm fine, but I was thinking," I laughed and said, "Oh, no. That's never good. Try not to think too much otherwise you'll hurt yourself." I joked, as he looked at me and raised his eyebrow, but still cracked a smile. He looked worried when I mentioned the "Don't hurt yourself" part. "Greenpeace." He said, as I frowned. "What? You haven't called me that in awhile," I replied, as his frown deepened. "I'm worried about you, Em." He said, as I nodded. "Jay, I'm fine. I'm out of the hospital, aren't I?" He looked at me, seriously, like he did when he told me that he didn't like being messed with in the library after I kissed Nate. "Yes, but the doctor noticed the cut on your arm?" He asked, as I sighed. "Jay, I'm alright. It was just a minor cut and a complete accident." He raised an eyebrow and sighed before nodding. "Emma, please be honest with me. Did you do that intentionally?" I shook my head, knowing that if I told him it was then he would wonder why I did it and I couldn't tell him it was because of the text messages I got on my phone. It would hurt him if he knew.

"No. I didn't. It was an accident." He believed me and let the subject drop. "I'm sorry, but I can't help but worry about you." I gave him a small smile and nodded. "Emma," he grabbed my hands in his. "please promise me that if you are having trouble with anything, then you will please talk to me about it." I nodded. "If you feel like you can't-then I will respect that-please talk to someone else, like Alex." I nodded as he smiled before he leaned in and kissed me. I kissed him back before he told me that he wants to take me out on a date soon. I accepted before we kissed again and I pulled away, breathless. We went inside to see Sean looking at us questionably and Alex, who was smiling.

"What?" I asked, knowing that Alex saw us kissing. "Oh, nothing." She said and looked away. Sean didn't look happy. He didn't look mad, but he did look suspicious and worried. Oh, Shit.


	27. Chapter 27

**Emma's POV:  
** Sean looked between Jay and I before he raised an eyebrow. "We all need to talk." He said as Alex nodded, agreeing. I could see Jay agreeing as well. "Why?' I asked, not wanting to talk about this with them. They all looked at me before someone came in. Toby, Liberty, JT, Ellie and Manny came in the room. "Great. Just what I need right now." I muttered under my breath. "Emma, we are all worried about you."

"We can talk about this later, Cause Girl. Let's go hang out." Alex said, grabbing my hand before Sean spoke. "Fine. All of us aren't giving up on this, Em." He said with his arms crossed. "I know, but not right now. My best friend and I are going to hangout." I said before I turned to Jay. "Don't worry about me so much." He frowned. "I always do." He said before I let go of Alex's hand and kissed Jay. After a few seconds, he gave me a small smile. Sean looked like he was ready to kill someone. "Oops." I said before Alex and I started laughing. "My bad." Everyone else stared at us in shock, except Sean-who was throwing murderous glances at Jay-and Jay himself, whp was still smiling a little bit. Alex and I walked out the apartment as I heard Jay comment, "Oh, Lord forgive my sinful thoughts," followed by a punch by Sean. I poked my head through the door.

Manny was holding a pissed off Sean and Jay was staring at me. "I heard that."

"You were supposed to." Jay replied, about his little comment.

"Guys," I glanced between my boyfriend and my pissed off ex/first love. "please try **NOT** to kill each other while I'm gone." I said, mainly to Sean knowing about his anger issues in the past and remembering that small fight he and Jay had the day of our second break up. "No promises." Sean said, glaring at Jay with his arms crossed. Manny was standing next to them, making sure Sean wasn't going to get into a fight. When I was satisfied, I left. "Boys." I muttered to Alex as we started walking. "Girls." Jay said, before we walked to Alex's car.

"So why are we leaving when there is a good chance that they are going to kill each other-mainly Sean killing Jay-when we are gone." Alex laughed. "They won't. Trust me or I will kill them both for ruining my apartment." I nodded. "You know that they are just worried about you right. We all are." I sighed, and looked out the window as we drove down the street. "I know."

Soon, we arrived at the mall. Alex and I got out of the car and walked towards the entrance. "This is so weird." Alex looked at me, confused. "I never saw you as the time of girl who would be willing to go shopping," I told her as she laughed. I felt like someone was watching me, so I stopped to look around. I didn't see anyone around, but I still felt weird. I quickly followed Alex inside and she found a cute black low cut top. "I think this would look cute on you." I shook my head. "Too Sexy for me." She shook her head at me this time. "Come on, Em. Live a little." I nodded and took it because it did look Sexy and cute. I found matching black skinny jeans and Black stilettos to go with it. "Omg." I turned to her and she held up a black leather jacket. "I love this whole outfit." I said, nodding.

I turned to Alex after I saw some more outfits I loved. "Hey, Alex. Can I ask you something." She looked up and nodded. "Promise to be completely honest?" She nodded, again. "I feel like Jay is hiding something from me. Would you happen to know what it could be?" I lied a little because I knew that if she knew the truth then she would immediately tell Jay or Sean.

She looked up from the shirt she was looking at. "No. If Jay needed to tell you something, he would." I nodded and went back to looking through the outfits I liked on the stand.

* * *

 **Jay's POV:  
** Sean glared at me after the girls left before he walked out of the room. "We need to help Emma." I told everyone in the room. I sighed as I thought about what we were going to do. "We need to support her," I said, glaring at Vampire Freak. **(1)** "because if we control her, get mad at her for whatever she's hiding, or anything like that then she will automatically fight against us and I know that none of us want to fight her on this." I said, worried about Emma.

"But if we stage an intervention, then wouldn't that get our point across?" Vampire Freak asked, as I glared at her. "No. Trust me. The last time Peter, Spike, Snake and I had an intervention for Emma's Anorexia, she had panic attack because she felt like we were all against her. Peter had to call the police because she couldn't breath. If we had another intervention and she gets another panic attack then it would be worse then the first one she had. Do any of you really want to see that happen to her? Let alone see what it would do to Sean and Jay if she died!" Manny yelled at her. "No." J.T. said, worried.

"Sean loves her and if she died, it would kill him. Why do you think he saved her by distracting Rick after she got a damn gun pointed at her head?" We all nodded and sighed, knowing that she was right. We all knew that, but Vampire Freak wanted an intervention. Did she want to see what would happen if we did?

"Trust me when I say an intervention is **NOT** a good idea." Manny insisted, as we heard another voice near by.

"Manny is right. If we stage an intervention, then she will automatically fight against us and won't be as willing to stop self destructing. Even if we continue telling her how bad it is and she agrees, it will still bring stress to her and Ramirez said, ' **NO** stress.' She won't talk to any of us, but I think I know someone she would talk to." We all looked at Sean who was leaning on the door frame and raised our eyebrows.

"Alex."

* * *

 **Alex's POV:  
** I was worried about Emma because I know how much Sean and Jay care about her. She was really starting to worry me. About an hour after we entered the mall, we went to the food court. Emma got a salad, fries and a chocolate milkshake, while I got a cheeseburger, fries and a milkshake as well. We started eating and I actually enjoyed shopping. It's so weird, because normally I never liked it before now. As Emma and I were eating, she got a text on her phone. She read it, frowned and then turned pale, shook her head, put her phone away and started eating again.

"Emma, are you okay?" I asked, as she nodded. I didn't believe her, but I let it go. "I'm fine, Alex." I got a text message from Jay that read, **Alex, can you try and talk to Emma about what's bothering her?** I said that I would and warned him that she was suspicious about what he was hiding, but that she didn't know what it was.

 **DAMN IT!** was his reply.

* * *

 **Emma's POV:  
** I couldn't believe the text message I got earlier at the food court. I thought this texting threats situation was over.

 **I was DEAD WRONG.**

This sucks because I didn't know what was happening as I looked in the mirror, seeing how much I've changed in a short amount of time. Instead of my eyes having light in them, getting enough sleep, eating enough and being a good girl by attending school and getting good grades it was different now. I have dark circles under my eyes, I'm not sleeping, eating or being a Golden Girl anymore. I was now skipping classes and my grades were slipping now, since I spent most of my time at the Ravine these days. My skin wasn't healthy anymore: it has cuts all over it. Even though they aren't deep they are still there. My smile was gone and very rarely made an appearance. My eyes didn't have the light in them anymore and the only time I was happy was when I'm hanging out with Jay and Alex, but lately I haven't been as happy around him.

I was no longer the girl everyone knew-happy, environmentalist, good girl Emma Nelson-because I didn't recognize the girl staring back at me in the mirror. I was in the dressing room trying on the clothes I got and as I put my clothes back on, I knew that I needed to do something about this situation. Fast.

I got my new clothes and went to the checkout with Alex. She got some clothes as well. I sighed and nervously ran my fingers through my hair. We paid and left the mall, where I still felt someone watching me. I looked around as Alex looked at me. "Emma, what's wrong?" I shook my head and quickly went to the car. Everyone I saw wasn't paying attention to us, so it freaked me out. Alex quickly got in her car and we drove off within seconds. She probably noticed my anxiousness.

I sighed and read the text message again. **Break up with Jay Hogart or there will be deadly consequences for one of you, unless you want me to go after your ex boyfriend. Your choice. I'm watching you all the time.**

I was freaked out. So this guy wanted to go after Jay, Sean or myself? I didn't know why, but I knew I had to do something about this before one of us got hurt or worse. I won't let anyone ruin my relationship with Jay or hurt either of them.

Another message.

 **I'll give you time to decide if you're going to break up with Jay or NOT. If you don't then I'll make a decision myself. Choose wisely.**

* * *

 _ **What do you think? I had to write most of it again because I forgot to save it.**_

 **(1): I LOVE Ellie, but I love Jay calling her that.**


	28. Chapter 28

**Ellie's POV:  
** I couldn't believe that Emma was distancing herself from us. I was trying to help because I know how much Sean loves her. He wants to get back together with her, but she's dating Jay right now. I wish I knew what was bothering her, but I don't. All of us-with the exception of Emma and Jay's ex girlfriend-was at the apartment, trying to figure out what's been going on with the blond.

"We all know that something is bothering her, but does anyone have any ideas about what it could be?" Manny asked, concerned. Honestly, I felt bad for the girl because she and Emma have been best friends for years and now Emma doesn't even talk to her or anything anymore because she's been hanging out with Jay and Alex a lot more these days.

"It could be because of the shooting," Jay tensed slightly without anyone else noticing, "but that was over a year ago." Manny said, as we all looked at her. "I mean she was the one who had a gun pointed at her. Plus Rick had a reason to go after her." I said, as everyone turned to me.

"Why would he go after her, besides the fact that Toby, Emma and I were the ones who last saw him alive?" Sean asked and I saw the confusion, love, anger, and concern in his eyes. I couldn't believe that he came back for her and not me, but I guess it was because that she's his first love, so he will always have some kind of connection with her-not just because of the "first love" thing, but also because they are connected through the shooting since he risked his life for her when Rick pulled that gun on him-which I was always jealous of.

Craig treated me like shit, Sean left-but I understand why he did since the shooting was traumatizing for him because he was one of the few people who saw Rick getting killed-and I always get treated like shit with the guys. I guess I need to move on from him because he clearly loves Emma more than he loves anything else.

"Rick kissed her after the competition, but she completely rejected him." Manny said, as Sean's eyes had even more anger, if that was even possible.

"Sean," I said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I'll kill him." He muttered under his breath.

"Um...He's dead." Sean raised an eyebrow and then muttered, "Oh yeah." He turned to look at Manny. "Well, obviously Alex hasn't figured out why Emma's been acting strange because she hasn't message me back." Jay said, just as his phone beeped.

"Oh, FUCK!" He yelled, pissed. "What is it?" Sean asked, as Jay looked up at us from his phone. "Alex doesn't know anything, so Greenpeace hasn't told her anything." He replied as he put his phone up.

 **Emma's POV:  
** I sighed, as I read at the text again to make sure I read it right.

"Em, is something wrong?" I shook my head and put my phone away before I turned my head to the window, leaned against it and tried not to cry as I looked out the window. Why is this happening to me? Why is this psycho wanting to come after me? Unless they want to use Sean and Jay to get to me. The Text message nightmare-my nickname for the person threatening me-did say that Sean is my number one weakness and that Jay is quickly becoming a close second. They aren't wrong.

Alex and I made it back to the apartment, after a long day at the mall. She parked the car and we got out, grabbing our bags and shutting the door to the car before going inside. Everyone looked at me, but I didn't care. I ignored everyone and put the my bags away before I went back downstairs.

"What?" I said, looking around the room. "No lecture?" I crossed my arms, looking at all of them. Alex was standing next to me, while the rest of them were in a half circle around me. Manny, Jay, Ellie, Sean, JT, Liberty and Toby.

"We are all just concerned about you, Em. You and I have been best friends for over a decade. I've seen you at your worst moments, remember? You're anorexia problem, through both times you and Sean broke up and not to mention the douche Peter. Ugh. Don't even get me started on him. I've also been your best friend during and after the shooting. Remember when you were acting out because of Rick trying to kill you? Let's see, you were distancing yourself from us," she gestured to herself, Liberty, JT and Toby, "shortly after that. Let's not forget the fact that you and Jay started hanging out around that time to, WHILE Sean was in Wasaga." She said, emphasizing the "while." I crossed my arms and glared at her.

"I told you that if you have any common sense that you wouldn't kiss Nate on stage. Thank God, he didn't want to. You were so determined to prove that everything was fine with you around that time. Snake saw you kiss that guy in the hallway right after you told him that the shooting was still bothering you, Em. Even though I loved the look on Jay's face when you kissed Nate, it meant that everything going on with you was not okay. You were falling into a downward spiral and the one person you turned to was Sean's best friend?" She glared at me. "Are you fucking kidding me?!" She yelled, before I looked down at the ground.

"I didn't plan on that, but it just kind of happened. Jay and I actually weren't arguing at that time. It was a good thing because we were actually friends at that time." Manny raised her eyebrow. "Please don't tell me that you fell for him." She said, as I looked at her. "God, no. He was cheating on Alex at the time." I turned to her. "No offense." She smiled slightly. "None taken. We were too much alike."

"Emma, I think all of us can agree," She turned to Ellie, "or most of us, can agree that you were actually happier with Sean before the shooting. Now that he's out of jail and wants to get back together, you decline?" I rolled my eyes. "Can you please get to the point?" I asked, standing up and crossing my arms.

"My point is that you're back to acting the way you were back then after the shooting and I wanna know why." I raised my eyebrow. "Why be friends with Jay of all people at that time? **He was using you to serial cheat on his girlfriend."** Manny said, "We weren't doing anything." I told her. "If you continued hanging out with him at the time, then **it's pretty close."** I glared at her. **"At least I wasn't getting pregnant."** She looked hurt, but I was too mad to care at the moment. **"Why are you trying to hurt me?"** She asked, as he frowned deepened. **"Because you won't leave me alone."**

"I've said this before and I'll say it again. **You're better than this. You're better than what you're doing."**

 **"What do you know about who I am or what I'm worth or anything?"** I said to her before I walked out the door and slammed it shut behind me. I heard someone's footsteps follow me as I was walking to my car.

"Emma, wait!" Ellie yelled as she grabbed my arm, but I pulled it back and continued walking. "Emma, stop." I turned to her. "Why don't you take a long walk off a short pier." I told her. She looked concerned. "Emma, please stop. We just want to know what's going on." I sighed as I heard my phone beep. **Have you made a decision yet?** I ignored the message. **I see you're talking to The red head.**

I wanted this person to stop messaging me, but they wouldn't. Why won't they stop? I shook my head before I got in my car and Ellie appeared at the door before I could drive off.

"Emma, please. Sean and Jay are just as worried as the rest of us. In fact, they are more concerned because Sean loves you and Jay is his best friend. I sighed because I want to be alone, but at the same time, Ellie and the others-especially Jay, Ellie, Sean, Manny and probably Alex-wouldn't stop until I told them the truth.

"Fine." I knew that if I didn't go back inside then they would try and find me. I was about to get out of the car when my phone rang, but I ignored it. Instead of walking back in the apartment, I walked to my car and went back home because I didn't want to hear another lecture. I know that they mean well, but I'm just tired of them asking me the same questions all the damn time. Ugh. Why can't people leave me alone.

My phone rang again and I answered it. "Emma, I have some thing important to talk to you about." That voice sounded so familiar to me, but I couldn't figure out who it was. I didn't feel like talking to anyone, so I drove to the Ravine instead. I drove there and grabbed my bag before I got out of the car.

 **Jay's POV:  
** "We need to figure out a way to help her without risking her having a panic attack." I told them. "You really care about her, huh?" Ellie asked, as I raised my eyebrow at her. "This isn't about me. It's about Emma." I told them, looking around. "I tried talking to her outside, but she completely ignored me." Manny scoffed. "You aren't exactly her favorite person." Alex replied, looking at her.

"Why? I didn't do anything to her?" She asked as I nodded my head towards Sean. "Oh. Oops." She said, frowning. "We haven't been able to get her to talk to us, so what do we do now?" Liberty asked, as I turned to Alex. "You seriously haven't been able to get her to talk to you?" Alex shook her head, before we all decided on what to do next.

No one spoke at all.

"I'll try to find her and see if she will talk to me." I told them as Sean glared at me, taking a step forward, crossing his arms. "I don't think she will talk to you. What makes you so sure that she will even listen to you, Jay." He asked, angry. "She hasn't done that before. In fact, last time I checked, you two were constantly arguing all the time." Alex got between us before Sean could do anything. "Cameron has a good point. Cause girl hasn't talked to any of us, so she obviously not going to talk to anyone, especially you two." She said, looking at both of us.

"It doesn't hurt to try." I said, before Alex crossed her arms. "Jay, if she isn't going to talk to any of us, then we can't force her to."

"What if Emma is doing something worse on top of Anorexia and no one knows it, except her? The doctors said that she has a cut on her arm and maybe it's an accident or maybe not, but either way we have to figure out what the hell she's hiding. I know that none of you in this room wants to watch her do this any longer, especially Sean or myself. Even Ellie is tired of Emma doing this." I stated.

"What if we follow her?" Manny asked, "and see what happens." Alex shook her head. "Not going to happen. Emma would know that someone is watching her and she could run before any of us know what's going on." I turned to her. "How do you know that?" I asked, confused. She was about to say something, but stopped. "Alex, if you know anything, then can you please tell us?" I asked, as she bit her lip and looked nervous. Sean stepped closer to her and crossed his arms.

"Fine. I saw her one night, but I couldn't believe what she was doing. Let's just say that she's lucky that I was there."

"What was she doing?" I asked, as she looked at Sean and myself. "She had a panic attack, so I brought her to my apartment." I looked at her. "That was the day that she wasn't at school, right?" I asked, as she shook her head. "That happened the night before. I let her stay here the next day and called Simpson to tell him that she wasn't feeling good and decided to stay here for awhile."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Sean asked, confused. "Because I knew that something was bothering her-but I didn't know what it was-and I knew that she didn't want anymore drama."

"Anything else happen?" I asked, curious. "She was crying and had a panic attack." She looked at myself and Sean. "Lexi, I know you. Something else happened." I said, because I could see it in her eyes. "She fainted before I was able reach her." She told me, but I could tell that she wasn't still wasn't telling us anything.

"You might as well tell me because I'll find out sooner or later." I told her, but she shook her head. "That's it, Jay." She said, as she looked from me to Sean. I could tell that there was more to it, but Alex is just as stubborn as Emma.

"Do you know why she had a panic attack?" She shook her head. "She didn't tell me anything back then either. I'm sorry, Jay." I sighed, as Sean looked at me, but I ignored his eyes on me. "If I knew, then I would tell you."

 **Emma's POV:  
** I sighed as the same phone number from before called me, but I ignored it. **Emma, are you okay? Please talk to us-Ellie.** I ignored the message as well. In fact, I turned my phone off and started crying. Right before I turned it off, I got a text from the Text Message Nightmare. **You better break up with Jay or else someone is going to pay. Hehe. It will be so much worse if you don't break up with him. I mean it, Stay away from him. You don't know what he is capable of. This is your LAST warning. There will be consequences if you don't. DEADLY consequences. **

I tried fighting the tears back from falling, but I couldn't. I grabbed the beer can I had-before Jay told me about Sean and the courthouse situation-and crushed the can under my foot.

I felt tears falling down my face, but I didn't care. I had to do something about this. I turned my phone back on and dialed a number. Voicemail. "I need your help. I don't know what the hell to do and I'm kind of freaking out. Please don't tell anyone. I'm at the Ravine now. I know that we've had our past history, but I need someone to talk to."


	29. Chapter 29

**Ellie's POV:  
** I know that Emma needs help, but I don't know how to help her. None of us do. I don't want to do an intervention, but it seems like it's our only option right now. Emma isn't talking to any of us, but I feel like an intervention will work. "We have to keep trying." Jay said, as everyone looked at him "I agree. We can't give up on this." I told them. "Jay, I think you should try talking to her. If that doesn't work, then we will have to try something else." I told him as everyone looked at me.

He nodded before he left the apartment. Sean looked worried. "Emma will be okay." I told him. "She has to be." I mumbled. "Cause Girl will be fine. She always is." Alex said, as I nodded. "Sean, trust me." I said, as I placed a hand on his shoulder. "No one tells me anything." He mumbled before leaving the room. "Sean." I said, as everyone looked at me. I sighed as I followed him. He went out in the hallway and sat down against the wall. "Sean, are you okay?" I asked worried, as he sighed.

"I just feel like no one is telling me anything. I want to know what's going on with Emma. I love her more than anything." He sighed as he looked at me. "Sorry."  
I nodded. "Sean, it's fine. I know that you'll always love her. We all are worried, but we can't help her if she won't help herself first." I said, as Sean held onto me. After a few moments, I stood up and held my arm out to him. "Come on." He looked at me, then took my hand just like he did when we were in detention.

"Where are we going?" He asked, as I shrugged. "We are going to go somewhere else, because I know it's stressing you out." He nodded, as I got in my car and he got in next to me.

Soon, we made it back to his apartment. He sighed as we walked in. "I can't believe this." Sean said, with tears in his eyes. "Sean, I would tell you everything I know, but I think you need to hear it from Emma." He closed his eyes as he leaned back against the couch. "I just hope she will talk to me about this." I nodded. "I know she will."

 **Emma's POV:  
** I stayed at the Ravine for a bit. I turned my phone off after I called someone for help. I love Sean, but I have to let him go. I have to let Jay go, too. This isn't fair on either of them. I waited awhile, but got tired of it after awhile. I couldn't believe this is happening to me. I can't believe the messages I've got recently, but who would do this to me?

I sighed as I wrote in my diary again and started drinking Vodka. **How could this be me? I love Sean and Jay is a great boyfriend. I don't understand why I'm receiving these text message and that note. Who could do that? I'm so confused about my feelings right now. I know I love Sean, but at the same time I like Jay, a lot, which is a problem due to our past history and the face that Jay is Sean's best friend.**

 **I don't know what to do now. I don't even feel like myself anymore. I don't feel anything anymore, except pain, anger and fear. I'm scared because the messages are getting worse which is why I've been distancing myself.**

 **I have a few secrets that I've kept from Sean, Jay and everyone else: I can't tell them anything until I get my life back on track.**

 **I'm scared about what could happen next. Sean wants to get back together, but I'm scared of getting hurt again. I love him, I really do, but I can't go through another break up with him. He needs to get back together with Ellie. He needs to get back together with her because I don't want to risk getting her again. He always leaves when things get difficult. I understand why he left for Wasaga, but I still missed him.**

 **I know I have feelings for Jay, but I just don't feel like myself right now. Maybe I need to break up with him and get my life straightened out first. I don't know what the Text Message Nightmare is going to do, but it terrifies me.**

 **I've NEVER been more scared in my life other then time when Rick almost killed me and Sean got hurt trying to protect me. I'm scared that I will never get over the shooting. I think I know what I need to do, but if I do end up making that choice, then I will never be able to show my face around Toronto ever again.**

 **I've NEVER told Sean this, but I kind of wish I told Rick to pull the damn trigger, but I knew what that would do to Sean, so I didn't. I'm NEVER going to tell Sean how I thought about telling Rick to kill me like he planned to do. I don't know how to handle this anymore.**

 **Speaking of Jay, I wonder what he is hiding. I'm happy when now that I'm dating him, but I need to get my life straightened out before I can truly be with someone.**

 **I know what I'm going to do and I'm not going to back down. I have to do this, but before I do, I have to talk to Jay.**

I sighed, as I read what I wrote, knowing that I will never be able to look at Sean or Jay again after this.

I started crying as I heard Jay call my name. "I thought Ellie was coming, since I kind of expected her to." I said, as he looked at me. "I guess she didn't hear my voicemail."

"Are you okay?" He asked, as he sat next to me. I put my diary back in my bag. "Emma, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but when you are ready." I nodded at him, as he looked into my eyes. I leaned in and kissed him. Soon, I pulled away. He looked at the van and I nodded. I went in first and we continued kissing before he closed the door.

* * *

Awhile after, I fixed my hair and we both got out of the van. I was breathless and so was he. When we both caught our breath, I noticed my bag still sitting on the table. I looked through it and made sure that my diary was still in there. "Emma, I love you." He said, as I looked at him in shock. I knew that I would never be able to be with him unless I get my life straightened out. I was worried because I didn't know what to say. I know how I feel about him, but I also knew that I can't do anything about it. I sighed, as I gave him a small smile.

Soon, I received a text from the text message nightmare. **I see you broke up with Jay Hogart. Good job, Emma, but this isn't over yet. You deserve to know what Jay did, since he isn't going to tell you. I'm going to tell you:**

 **Jay is the reason for the shooting.**

I glared at him in shock. "I can't do this anymore, Jay. I'm sorry." I told him. "Emma," he said, as I tried to stop thinking about everything that happened recently. I knew I wouldn't be able to say it back because I had to take care of myself first, but now I have a bigger reason now. "Are you okay?" I shook my head and started crying before I grabbed my bag, got in my car and left. I was so scared and there was nothing I could do about it. I had to get out of there. I drove off and went to my house. Still crying, I got out of the car and walked into the house. I quickly made it to my bedroom and grabbed some paper and a pen. I began writing my letters to everyone. Alex, Jay, Ellie, Sean, Manny, JT, Liberty and Toby and my parents.

* * *

I avoided Jay for the next couple of weeks because I couldn't handle being around him. Everything has changed. He still tries to talk to me, but I ignore him. I was busy making plans to leave after graduation. Sean and I went to the prom together and then it was exam time. Manny walked up to me as I remembered the decision I made a couple of weeks before. I knew that this would be the last time I saw her, Sean, Jay or any of them again after this.

"Are you excited about graduation?" I nodded, since I won't have to see Jay again.

"Jay has been sulking for weeks about your break up. Why did you break up with him?" She asked, as I turned behind me to see him looking at me sadly. I glared at him, slammed my locker and walked away, pissed off again, ignoring him. "Emma," He said, sadly as I saw the sadness in his eyes. "why did you break up with me?" He asked, as I got out of his hold. "Stay the hell away from me, Jason." I said, as he looked shocked.

"Whoa, what the hell happened between you two?" Sean asked, as I glared at his best friend. "Ask him." I said, not once moving my eyes from Jay, who looked defeated. "You know what sucks about all of this? I thought you changed, but you haven't. You're still the same jerk you were when I first met you." He looked hurt, but I kept going.

"You want to know the worst part? I fell in love with you and I was told not to trust you because you will **NEVER** change. I didn't think you could ever change, but I gave you a chance. I told myself that I shouldn't let myself fall for you because of several reasons, but mainly because Sean is your best friend. Did I listen to myself? Hell, no." Everyone was staring at me. "I never should have trusted you because you are still the same jerk you were the day I met you. We are done and I don't want to talk to you ever again." He tried stepping closer to me, but I stopped him.

"Don't touch me. Don't talk to me or I'll deck your smug face, too." I said, quoting Alex from when she broke up with Jay after the Ravine incident. I walked away from him. I went to the bathroom and threw up. "Emma, are you alright?" I nodded without looking at Manny, lying.

After graduation was over, I handed Alex the letters to everyone without saying a word, before I got in my car and left Toronto, not looking back.

 **This is the last chapter of the story, but there is a sequel coming, so, please look out for it.**

Thank you all so much for reading this story. I know that some things were not answered, but that's why I'm writing a sequel for all of you. I hope you guys enjoyed this story. I want to give a shoutout to AllieB0524, for reviewing on my story, reading it and staying committed to finish reading it. I can't thank you all enough for following me on Instagram at **SeanEmma4everDTNG.**

I also can't thank you all enough for all you have done. I hope you all like the sequel. You are amazing and I am forever grateful.


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